How Do I Fix My Life?

Question

A recent turn of events has led to me being more depressed than I ever have before. Throughout my adult life (18 years and older) I have lied. More than one should. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I don't lie because I'm a pathological liar or anything, I lie because I am so insecure with how people will se me that I make up little things so that in my mind they will think more of me. Recently, it has cost me the love of my life. This was obviously painful and I immediatly re-entered counceling. I didn't lie about "big" things. I lied about where my parents were from. I lied about not living with my parents. I lied about attending (not graduating) from a certain college. Just stupid little things. That was about a month ago and I was just atarting to rebuild my life. I am now back in college and need a part time job. I called a company I had worked with and they basically told me absolutly no way. 5 years ago I quit there. I don't know if they are still mad at that, or if it has something to do with a girl that still works there. We lived together and had a pretty nasty break up. But still, for some reason it devistates me that there are people (many) that would rather have nothing to do with me. I'm tired of leaving peoples lives in worse condition than I found them. I instantly started crying when they told me I couldn't have a job. I'm so depressed right now it's crazy. I just feel like the first 27 years of my life have been a complete waste. I have few friends or acomplishments to show for the time I have spent here. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal. But I just am so tired of feeling this way. I know it's a long road to gaining your life back, but I wish there was something quick and easy that would a least make me feel like a man. Because up to this point in my life I have not made many moves that would lead one to believe that I am a man. I don't know if people read these things or not but it just felt good to say all of this stuff out loud. If you read this you now know more about me than my "best friend". Thanks for your time.

Answer 1

Find a church that has a Celebrate Recovery program.    This program was started by the Saddleback Church in California and many churches now use it.   It's excellent.  You need a Christian support group and counseling.

Answer 2

people make mistakes and you can correct yours. and alot of people are insecure, so your not alone! i look at it this way and so should you. if people dont like the way you look, then they shouldnt be looking'. dont make things up, be honest.forget about that company that said no way, there are plenty of other jobs to look into or try a temp service if there is one in your town. if you run into people you lied to, then apologize. you dont need alot of friends, i dont. keep going to counciling, and tell them everything. it does help. you can change, but only if you want to, there are people that care! good luck to you

Answer 3

ya, most people don't really like people who tell lies. They don't want to be in any kind of relationship with them because they never know what is true, and whats not. Just stay in therapy. Life will get better, just have a positive attitude. If possible, I would recommend moving to a new community. That way you can start fresh, and try not to tell any lies. Good luck dude.  

Answer 4

You need to continue in counselling and not give up.  My son suffers from anxiety and depression and unfortunately there is no quick fix.  CBT works if you are willing to do the work.  Are you getting good counselling?  You also need to pray as God will always give you what you need if you ask - not money or the things of this world but peace, courage - things like that.  You can contact me again if you need to talk.  Be strong and know that there is someone who understands.

(From a Mom)  p.s.  my email  [e-mail] if u want to talk more.

Answer 5

1) get god in your life

because with out him you just be lost (pray to him for help)

2)  forget what every happen in your pass  the best you can forget your pass or don't think about it

3) come up with an ideal of how you going to change your life and the things that you hate bout yourself

4) wake up the next day and say I'm a new person and day by day



happy music help me with my depression

but anyways i feel you

I'm  doing the same

trying to change my life around  

Answer 6

Unfortunately, I have learned there are no "quick fixes" when it comes to things like this in life. First of all, I think you need to really look inside yourself and try to understand why other peoples opinion of you matter so much.

It took my little girl asking me a load of questions about thoughts and dreams I had about my life when I was her age to wise up and say to my self, "hey, I am not the person I wanted to be at all". I am not doing any of the things I always wanted to do. That was the 1st step for me to turning my life around.

The only advice I can give you is to start with something small. Something you have always wanted to do. I know this sounds so cliche', but take one day at a time. You have to like yourself before you can expect anyone else to. Actually, you have to love who you are. When that happens, you won't care enough to lie to people about the little things.Because you will be truly happy in your own skin. Besides, do you really want people in your life that don't care about you just the way you are?

Sorry if I rambled on, but your question really touched my heart. I hope you will start the journey of your new life soon, and my wish for you is that it will be amazing.

Answer 7

the best thing you can do is stop lying.  if there is one thing you should have learned by now, it is that lying will get you into trouble.

also, the interesting thing is that when you lie, you probably think they are buying it, but the truth is that most people will eventually figure out that you have lied.  if you have lied once, even about a small thing, they will assume that you have lied about other things, and they will have difficulty trusting you at all.

you may be afraid of what people will think of you, but i think if you become an authentic person by not lying, you will find out that (true, not everyone will like you, but...) you will find friends (friendship requires trust).

you need to be yourself, no matter what that means.

while you are at it, you should discuss this with your counselor, or maybe even better, in a group session.

Answer 8

i guess the obvious answer would be to stop lying. it may start out small but it gets to be bigger ones in time. but realize that what you think you might get from it goes away the minute you tell a lie because it will always come back to you and the outcome as you know is never good. and feeling like you need to impress people can be suffocating. you will never be what everyone wants you to be or what you think they want you to be. your my age and im just now getting to the point where i'm not quite as concerned what people think of me. i am who i am. like it or leave it. once you have embraced yourself then everyone else will too. people know when your fake or putting on. it does not draw you in to them. you wind up having an opposite effect. you push people away. just be genuine. i'm not a doc, never seen a therapist, but i have the experience of life. and no one will ever know your situation better than yourself. you know what the right thing is, the right thing to do  

Answer 9

i think the answer to all your problems is JESUS!!  foreal though try him!

Answer 10

well i'm going to go ahead & say you don't need church or jesus to fix your life. you answered you own question... you can fix it yourself because now you know what not to do

good luck!

Answer 11

I just wanted to let you know that I have read everything you wrote and I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. You know what you have to do (counseling) which is a very important thing to get going. Also, as hard as it might be, try your best to stop lying, no matter how big or small. Lastly, try not to worry about the job because you are just not meant to work there. It would be best to work somewhere where you can make a fresh start. I only hope that your new start will be showing everyone your "true" self... no matter how imperfect you are. Remember... people respect you more for being yourself. No one believes anyone is perfect and you shouldn't try to make yourself out to appear that way.