How Do I Know If Someone Is Really My Friend?

Question

I have this friend named Christine and we have been friends since 3rd grade. But from third grade to what grade I'm in now (7th) we have had an off and on relationship. She always says that she's my friend but if I say one thing the wrong way she starts a huge fight and starts calling me names and telling me I'm stupid and that she never liked me anyways. I'm usually the one to apologize first even though i didn't do anything wrong because i don't want to fight with people. At school she totally ignores me and pretends she doesn't even know me, but when it's just us, she acts like we're best friends. There's also this girl in school and she and Christine are best friends. Christine only met Naomi (that's the girls name) this year. And Naomi is really pretty and popular. Every time Christine is around Naomi she try's to act all cool and ignores me. Once when Christine was over at Naomi's house they both texted me and said they hated me and Christine said that she never liked me in the first place. And I didn't even do anything to the both of them. Naomi had invited me over once but after i went home, she stopped talking to me and she said i was boring and that she hated me. And I'm not a boring person AT ALL. The only time Christine acknowledges me is when it's just us and she thinks she can call me whatever she wants and thinks that I'll still be friends with her afterward. I ask her if she likes me and is my friend and she always says yes. This whole thing with Christine has been going on for 4 years and every time I say I think I should be treated better she gets mad and calls me names and says she never liked me and that I'm ugly.But when it's just us she acts really nice and jokes around and says I'm one of her best friends. I'm just wondering if you think she really is my friend or if she's just pretending and really doesn't like me at all.

Answer 1

that seems like a long story but a friend is always a friend

they don't talk behind your backs

they don't start gossip

they don't start rumors

or start any drama

some friends go

but you can make new ones too right?

Answer 2

Girl that is not a real friend at all !! It sound like she's just one of those girls that leaves their friends for the popular girls. I had a "friend" like before. I started showing more of a intolerant attitude and she noticed. To me it was like she was using me. But we don't talk anymore and I really don't plan on becoming friends with her again. But I think Christine is just using you. I know it'll be hard but you need to drop her and go find other friends that will respect and treat you like how a real friend should be treated. If she tries to ask why you don't talk to her anymore or w/e just straight up tell her how you feel. After that its up to you if you wanna be friends again [even though personally I wouldn't]

If you continue to let this go on then this says a lot about your self esteem [negatively] I'm not tryna down you but usually when people let others just say w/e or do w/e without saying anything especially in abusive relationships, then something's wrong with them.

Sooner or later something will happen between her and the other girl and she'll come back to you but like I said its up to you. In my eyes, she's a fake.

Good luck and remember, don't be afraid to go out and make other friends or hang with other people.

=]

Answer 3

im not really a psychologist. but i'll do the best to help you.

this is actually a pretty good story. no offense to your friend christine, but it does seems like shes not a friend and she is. its kinda confusing.

i guess the only reason she kept being mean to you its because she's trying to fit in with the new group and tried to act cool.

theres only one thing to do. when you guys are alone, try your best to squeal the truth out of her. i dont mean it litterly.

and if she kept doing that,  i assume shes not a real friends.

cuz real friends never do that. she should respect you cuz you're the person whos doing the right thing.

if this doesnt help you, talk to your  counsellor, if you're still in school. lol  XD

Answer 4

Well, instead of telling you what a friend is, I'll tell you what a friend isn't.

A friend isn't a Naomi or a Christine. Period.