How Do I Let it Go? People Really Don't Like me..?

Question

I'm not a very popular person. There are many many other kids who dislike me, sometimes for reasons I'm not even sure.

I know that no one is ever going to treat me respectfully..so how do I adapt to it? How do I ignore it, and overlook it?

I want to try to handle this situation is positively as I can. It's very hard as a teenager not to be liked by your peers. None of my accomplishments have made it better either.

Please someone help :-( This is making me extremely miserable.

Answer 1

I was never popular in highschool. I just made sure that I went to school to do what I have to do. I was always a nice eprson to everyone and didn't cause troubl with any of my peers. If ppl don't have a good reasons then theyre just stupid. just be yourself, be humble and kind and there shouldn't be negative reasons for ppl to dislike you. I'm sure you're are a great person so don't worry about it too much, once you graduate it's all over.

Answer 2

Fortunately and unfortunately teen years don't last forever, then you have an entire adult life ahead of you. One thing you can do is speak to the school counselor. Maybe you can just discuss that you dont feel like you fit in and you really would like an honest opinion of whether there are mannerisms or behaviors that you do that turn people off. He/She probably has a real feel for the students in your school, so if you make it clear you are wanting an honest answer and suggestions because you really don't know and feel like it can help you in the future. Another thing is to get involved in activities outside of school. Volunteer helping others. Spend time walking/washing dogs at the humane society,  read to the elderly at a nursing home or VA hospital, serve food at a soup kitchen. This interaction will give you alot of self gratification, confidence, and appreciation of the abilities you have. It will also help you keep things in perspective, and the knowledge that being liked and popular really is not everything.

Answer 3

I've always hated the phrase "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me." Words do hurt. Badly. Everyone says 'just ignore it' but that just makes it worse. I know what it feels like to be severely left out and disliked. I don't know of your religion, but I do know that Jesus loves deeply and personally. Don't be miserable. You more than likely have many good qualities.

You may want to keep a journal, or just randomly write down your thoughts down every once in awhile. The only other advice I can think of is this: Look around you...you're probably not the only lonely one. Seek out someone else who's alone and talk to them. You may end up having more in common than you could ever imagine. Also, smile a lot. I know that's hard, but smiling actually releases a chemical in your body that makes you a little bit happier. And when people see you smiling, they'll be drawn to you. Always be nice to everyone. You're right, you can't control how they'll treat you back. But the ones looking for a real, genuine friend, not just a step up on the social ladder, will notice and treat you with respect.

Hang in there. I know you can do it. I'm guessing you're in middle school/high school, and I know that the social systems in that stage of life are brutal. But people grow up. Don't worry.

Answer 4

I always felt that way too. It gets better as you get older.

Are you quiet/shy/reserved? If so, people probably think you don't like them because you might not be as open as they are, which in turn makes you feel like they don't like you.

If this is the case for you (as it was with me) one good thing to come out of all this is that you will have an easier time finding out who your real friends are. It is definitely better to be a listener than a talker and you are probably much deeper than the average person. Who wants a bunch of shallow fairweather friendships anyway?

Answer 5

I'm sorry Aimee =(  I don't know what grade you're in.  I liked middle school okay, but my last few years of high school, in particular, were just misery.

College, though, was a lot better.  It really was.  Being a cool high schooler is a gift some people have, but it only lasts for four years.  

But no matter how unpopular you are, when you graduate, it's OVER!  And then you can do so many different things with your life, you have soooo much freedom.

(((Hugs)))

Answer 6

Look for people who think like you.  Make them your friends.

Answer 7

Okay my dear. Rule #1 is that the vast MAJORITY of us suffer in high school, or school in general. For example, in school I was a total loser, dork, nerd, whaterer you want to call it. I got NO attention and yes, people made fun of me for no reason.

However, once I got to college everything had gradually changed. People became people, and actually started liking each other for who we really were. Yes, people were still superficial, some judged others based on apperance and how much money they had. You can find those people in all different ages at all stages in life.

However, somewhere around the age of mid-twenties or earlier, the majority of people grow a brain and realize that what makes a person likable and fascinating is their personality. Your life experience, you knowlege, ability to laugh and have fun, your hobbies and interests.

For now, I would say the number one thing you can do is to be more easygoing and never be afraid to laugh at yourself  and others (at least a little).

Answer 8

Give us some examples of when your disrespected, that way we can better asses how to handle it.

In the meantime, I'm sure at least SOME of your peers are not hateful. You should get to know the quiet kids, or the ones who keep to themselves. More often than not they're the nicest ones. I'll star this to see if you update it!

Answer 9

That's just crazy. Not everyone dislikes you. Not everyone even knows you. The best way to make friends is to be yourself. Be a good listener. Ask people questions about themselves. People just love to talk about themselves. The start of a new school year is always hard. But, you need to join some clubs. It is a lot easier to get close to a few people than the entire school. Join an after school club, something your interested in. Another thing you need to do is be positive. Don't just assume that people don't like you. There is no reason for them not to like you, it is something that you have decided in your own mind to be negative about. Start being more positive about yourself. Every time you think a negative thought in your mind say (cancel) and then replace it with a positive thought. Good luck.

Answer 10

U can perhaps live ur entire life trying to satisfy "others" and you will still be miserable. ur main responsibility is towards yourself. Why live "their" life? Be true to yourself and be who you are. The shortest route to being self-assured is first to love urself, take good care of urself, and take up stuff u really enjoy or wanna learn about - not to gain attention or popularity. But do it coz u love it. And continue being ur best nicest self. No matter what anyone does or says.

From what I hear, high school is tough... you stay ur course and don't get derailed. Just keep being ur best self - for yourself - not for others.

Be so strong and serene that no comment, no slight, no nothing can bother u. Forgive those people and just stay on ur path.

Goodluck. Have courage, keep smiling and go live ur life doing the things u love from ur heart.

Take care.

Answer 11

There are a lot of really good answers here and I'm not sure I can add much to it, other than my support.  It seems that you have a good head on your shoulders, that you're a caring person, when in high school a lot of teens really aren't very nice.  Keep in mind that you can't please all the people all the time;  usually those who you can't please aren't really worth trying to please in the first place.  It's not worth it to live up to the expectations of shallow people.  Whatever you do, make sure you keep up your studies and don't get demoralized.  You're in school to learn, and make an absolute effort to get secondary education.  The rest will all fall into place in the future.

It may also be that you're ahead of the curve in mental maturity (sounds like you are).  Maybe your friendships should be with older people who are on the same level that you are.

Being a teenager is the toughest time of your life.  So many things are happening all at once.  Be the best person you can be, and the heck with what everyone else thinks.  

I was a square peg who didn't even bother to try to fit into a round hole.  I'm glad I took the road not taken.

PS - you mentioned in your question that people don't treat you respectfully, but I'd say that all the responses here have been respectful, friendly, thoughtful and helpful.  That shows that there will be many people in your future who will treat you with respect.  :o)