How Do I Tell My Mother-In-Law To Butt Out?

Question

My mother-in-law is ruining me and my husbands life! I'm not planning on leaving my husband, I just want his mother to butt out of our life. It is taking all I have not to go off on her. My husband some-what stands up to her, but not really.

So, how can I tell her to butt out without starting a family war?

Answer 1

both of you sit down w/ her & say, '___________, I really appreciate your concern, but, to tell you the truth, ___________ & I are grown adults & we have open communication to figure out our own lives so please dont complicate the matter by offering unsolicited advice. we are fine, but thank you"

or you could just say, "butt out you annoying hag. Im married to him, not you so get a life you old b*tch"

Answer 2

You sound very upset.  If your looking for your husband to cut his mother out of his life pending what she did I think your asking for a bit much.  I suggest if you don't want her in your personal business then don't tell her what goes on behind closed doors.  

Answer 3

Sounds like to me she is starting the war and your husband should have some b**ls and tell her.  It's his mother.

Answer 4

omg. mother in law drama. well i have that with a step mother in law. and it sux when they dont like you. your husband needs to step up and tell his mom to butt out. you are a good person and dont deserve this. i know your husband to and he is good. he just needs to tell his mom a thing or two. its not her place to butt into a married couples life no matters who it is. unless she is paying the bills and i know she is not. i am here if you need me.

love u guys

Answer 5

When she calls politely tell her you only have a minute.Let her know some things she asks are to personal. Stop answering all her invasive questions by saying thanks for showing interest but i really have nothing to say about this or that.Dont always go to her house under her rules.Go out to eat instead of dinner over there.Spend holidays at other family members.Tell her when she is being over bearing that she needs to allow you to parent your children so you may learn what is best for your family.Dont answer her calls all the time.Ask her to PLease tell you if she is coming over so you may have time to prepare for things you have to do.Most of all keep alot of things to yourself and if she doesn't like it tell her sorry but this is something we would like to go through on our own.

Answer 6

You can't tell her, your husband has to.

Answer 7

just  tell  here

Answer 8

Tat is suppose to be your husbands job.

tell him to grow up and stand up

if not she will be there forever

if you say something it will just get worse.. unless you move far away

Answer 9

Here's the deal...is your mother-in-law "ruining your life?" or is she giving you good advice?  Ruining your life is a very severe accusation and needs some thought and consideration.

It is quite possible that what your mother-in-law is saying makes sense.  You're just not listening.  As the daughter-in-law it's your responsibility to listen.  You joined the family, now treat elders as they deserve to be treated.  Sounds to me like you are not treating your mother-in-law with respect.  Start.  Or your husband will dump your ***.

Answer 10

You shouldn't have to! Your husband should stand up for you. Yes that is his mother but you are his wife that trumps the mom card any day! What you really need to do is sit down with your husband and tell him how you really feel don't hold back you love each other and should be able to tell each other anything. Then he needs to sit down with his mother not you!