How Do I get Over My Trust Issues?

Question

okay so in my very first relationship my boyfriend treated me really bad. He broke up with me all the time then got bac with me when he felt like it, shut out my bestfriend and made me do the same...because it was my first relationship I put up with all of it because I didnt want to lose him...When he broke up with me for the final time I promised myself that I wouldnt let myself get attatched or close to guys...I've pretty much kept that promise to myself, but now I've met an amazing guy (I think Im in love)...I told him about my past n y its hard for me 2 get that close to him and trust him he's been trying to help me get over my trust issues (by the way this isnt about s*x because I told him I will be a virgin until my wedding night and he hasn't pressured me into anything)....I kno I can trust him, he's never given me a reason not 2....but I wont let myself....I'm trying to but I honestly dont know what to do so I can trust him and love him completely....Is there something I need to do or something we should do together so I can get over these issues?

BTW: We have had fights and we talk about it and work it out just fine in case that helps

Answer 1

Getting over trust issues in a relationship means that you have to have patience AND you have to trust yourself.  Does this guy make you feel good?  Does he treat me the way I like to be treated?  Do we fight all the time?  If your "gut" gives you positive answers, hang in there.  If he gives you real reasons, like your last boyfriend did, not to trust the relationship, trust your instincts and get out.  This takes practice, patience and trust in yourself.  You have time.  Enjoy your friend, and trusting yourself.

Answer 2

I don't mean to be the bringer of bad news, but it sounds like is nothing that you can really do to let your trust issues completely go. There will always be that lingering feeling somewhere deep down. You can however try your best and remind yourself everyday how you feel about him. Ultimately though people, no matter how trustworthy, can always possibly betray other's trust. You just need to try and not let that bother you and focus more on how happy you are with him. Planning for how you'll feel during a possible break-up sometime in the future is okay... but focusing on it to such an extreme that it is causing you problems isn't.

It's like worrying about an earthquake. Yeah sure, they are scary... but if you spend all your time worrying about them you'll miss out on life.

Answer 3

You are too scare for what hapened in the past that you don't want the same to hapened. Give him a chance yall fight but then later talk about it is normal. And if you do don't get way to attached with hm have a slow  relation. He sounds nice as the way you describe him that he don't try to rush you for some fun of his. It all depends on you take the things slolly.

Answer 4

Give yourself time. Geesh, what's the hurry. You're young and you seem smart. Get to know this new guy and get as close to him as possible. Talk about anything that bothers either one of you and resolve the dispute every time. Don't let things just go without resolving. The issues will turn into resentments and that's when you have problems. Time will tell and be patient with yourself.

Answer 5

guns and roses said it best... just a little patience