How Many Times Have you Been Told You Were Lucky Not to Have Been Aborted?

Question

Please state whether you were adopted or not adopted, planned or unplanned

Answer 1

Since coming on this site...  More times than I can count...  Before coming on this site...  I don't think ever...  adopted and unplanned

Answer 2

I think it is really sad all of you that wish you'd been aborted instead of being alive

not adopted and not planned.... been told lucky to be alive as my mom was told not to have any more children

and actually even as a kid I was told that I was lucky not to have been aborted (as I was born right after it was legal and doctors presured my mom to end my life that way) because my mom was really told not to have kids due to my brothers severe kidney problem... I actually remember that my entire life growing up from psycho relatives

aren't there bumper stickers that say that?

abortions have been legal 30 some years now, and all it has done is make children more unimportant to people .... it did not end foster care or child abuse

and as many have pointed out in different posts, usually the abortion clinics are more welcoming than a church...

Answer 3

I have been asked many times how I can advocate for reproductive rights including abortion because I was adopted and my son was too.

Some people are not very sophisticated and this is particularly true of Anti Choice advocates.

Answer 4

well. im 13 and my mom said i was planned and not adopted "obisouly" but my dad always reminds me i was a "mistake" and i hate him for it. i dont care about my dad honesly.

Answer 5

I was planned not adopted .I would never tell my children something so hurtful and mean. Mothers who say that to their children are not mothers they are selfish heartless women....Sorry ! bd

Answer 6

Never told that.

Not adopted.

Unplanned.

Answer 7

not planned.

not adopted.

never told that i was "lucky to not have been aborted."

--------------------------------------...

the truth...over 2/3 of pregnancies are unintended at the time of conception. many women contemplate abortion, yet parent. many of us can be told that, yet aren't.

so i think those who co-opt the "lucky...not aborted" line are simply marginalizing the feelings of adoptees who don't "play nicely".

Answer 8

Wow.  The last question I expected to see lol.

Not adopted, born into a family with an older brother, and I was told quite bluntly when I was about 11 by my mother that the only reason she didn't have an abortion when  she found out she was pregnant with me, is that her family wouldn't have approved.  She already had a son you see, so having an abortion would make her look back to her family and friends.

What a think to say to an 11 year old with severe depression, huh?  True or not, its cruel and should never be uttered to a child.  My mother wasn't even angry, it was like she was confiding some deep dark secret that she had to tell.  Like I should feel pity.

Some secrets are better left buried.  If she didn't want to have another child, imho she should have made alternate plans with my father to keep it from happening :(  An 11 year old shouldn't be expected to carry a burden like that.

Peace to those who have been on the receiving end of the "you're lucky to not have been aborted" line :)

  

Answer 9

I was adopted.  I was unplanned by my natural parents.  I was 'planned' (as a second choice to biology) by my adoptive parents.  If you want to hear a story about an "unplanned" adoption -- email me.  It's my little sister's story and it's kinda funny (and mostly sad).

I have been told I was "lucky" to be alive (with specific reference to abortion) more times than I can count.  By the uninformed, as abortion was not legal until after I was born -- and because my mother did not, and would never, consider abortion.  I have respectfully disagreed with their assertion that I was "lucky" -- if it suited me to continue with the discussion.  Some people are not worth the effort.

Incidentally, my mother was 'instructed' by her then-husband to have an abortion during her pregnancy with my youngest brother, so I was not her only pregnancy with which someone close to her disagreed (and yes, my brother is his biological son).  He did not want any more children.  She was incensed and never for an instant considered aborting my brother either.

Interesting Q.  Thanks for asking.  Take care!

Possum and PhilM, you made me think (again).  I have been told I'm "lucky to have not been aborted" in both cyber-land (not just here) and IRL.  I must just know some sh)tty people IRL.  They seem so much 'rarer' IRL.  How'd I get so "lucky"?  *sigh*

Answer 10

Not adopted and Not planned

I was told that I was lucky I was not aborted as a child. I was also told I was a big mistake and if my father had a quarter I would have never been born. That was from my parent's.

No one should say those things to anyone, especially an adoptee.

Answer 11

More times than I can count.

I would have been aborted, had it been legal/safe at the time, and I wish I had.

I'm an adoptee who's natural mother wanted to keep me but society wouldn't allow it at the time.

Answer 12

I was unplanned and am adopted.

I don't think anyone's ever told me that IRL, but on here, I've heard it many many times.

Answer 13

i was told was lucky to have been born cuz my mom wasnt supposed to be allowed to have children. she had alot of female issues. but here i am with a little brother =]

Answer 14

Unplanned - adopted.

IRL - never.

Here - countless times.

Answer 15

my mother was 23 when she got pregnant with me, she was on so many drugs she didn't find out she was prego until she was 6 months along! i was the third child my mother gave birth to but she only raised me and her middle child. yeah i've heard your lucky your weren't aborted, thats because she was to far along to do so, she had already had 4 abortions prior to being prego with me. she concidered adoption but decided to be selfish and keep me. i only say she's selfish for not giving me up because she could not afford two kids, i grew up living with my mothers friends -mostly camping in their yards or living in our car parked outside their house, and when we did have a place of our own there was barely ever any food for us to eat and we all shared one room or often had crazy druged out roommates or had to watch our mother abused by men she was dating just for a place to live. now i dont remember any of this to my dissatisfaction i have to hear these horror stories form my older brother and sometimes my mother tells me them. i tell you what i'm glad i dont remember.

my life with her did get better she eventually could afford to take better care of us; cloth us with out hand me downs, feed us healthaly, and give us the privacy of our own room. but ended up kicking me and my brother out of her house before we were 17 so she could have a "stronger" relationship with her now husband.  i've forgivin my mother as she later realized she was a drunk and nearly ruined my brother and i's life because of it and quit drinking. then now  does all that she can to support us to try and make up for the bad times.

the most unfortunit part is me and my brother did not learn from her mistakes, my brother stuck in a loveless abusive marrige and is traped as a stay at home father with two young kids. i am a single mother escaped form an abusive relationship, and pregnant by misfortune of failed birthcontrol by a alcoholic convict, looser that can't hold a job. i'm now facing your question personally from my baby's perspective as i now concider giving it up for adoption, while keeping my one year old. i hope for nothing more than to give my unborn baby a loving healthy/wealthy life it deserves. but i am in no situation to do so my self so i'm hoping to find a loving adoptive family that can. and i hope to god my child doesn't end up with a shittyer life than i could have given her and tell me years down the line i wish i would have been aborted.

but no one can tell the future i just must choose wisly. and say it is better to have been aborted than brought into this world questioning why your mother was selfish and you were always hungry and no one was ever around to love you. or why your birth mother didn't want you in the first place. trust its not that i don't love my unborn i'm just thinking of what is best for her because i can't take care of her.

Answer 16

Until I came to Y!A....never.  I am adopted.  I was planned.

Answer 17

adopted

unplanned

on here more times than i can count.

it seems to me the ones who say that they are happy with our adoption and tell the rest on here to get over it. ARE the very ones the fling these hurtful words around. How can you say that you are happy, when you insult others with hurtful words. I thought happy people weren't suppose to be hurtful?

Answer 18

I am adopted and also have 2 adopted children.  We have never been told that by anyone, but I praise God each and ever day myself, that our birth moms loved us enough and sacrificed herself so that we could have life, instead of sacrificing us on the altar of convenience.

EDIT- it is interesting to see when someone gives their opinion and side of story, that they warrant so many thumbs down.  there is nothing wrong with being thankful for life, FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 19

Never told I was "lucky", but my mom said often that she wished she had.

Not adopted.  Spent some time in foster care, but was never 'available" for adoption.

Planned?  Dunno...

Answer 20

Adopted and Unplanned.

never been told that i was nearly aborted, but thats probably what happened!

x

Answer 21

I am the result of a totally unplanned pregnancy.  I was adopted.

I have been told by many people in real life the I was lucky not to be aborted:  amom, bdad, countless "acquaintances"

and here on Yahoo...sooo many times I can't even remember them, other than the one a few minutes ago!!! lol

Answer 22

Never.  My parents would never say anything like that to any of their 7 children.

Me - unplanned (my parents got married because of me), not adopted.

Answer 23

I'm adopted.

I heard it a few times, but mostly was told I should of been killed, better if I'd not been born etc. That no one wanted me.

I'd be rich, if I was paid (every time anyone spoke with my adoptive mother in private, then was introduced to me by her) every time some person told me how 'lucky' I was, with a look in their eye I grew to despise but recognise. They thought she was some sort of martyr. I just agreed, to scared to do otherwise. Wonder how 'lucky' they'd think I was if they knew the things that went on behind our door.

People can be so gullible.

Answer 24

Not adopted, unplanned, and was never told anything mean like that.

Answer 25

Adopted and Unplanned.

I have been told I was lucky I wasn't aborted many times. My biological mother wanted an abortion but, it was too late.

Answer 26

Foster kid, never adopted.....Don't know if I was planned or not.

But I wish I was aborted everyday.

And I was told many times that I should have never been born (not sure if that meant aborted or just too worthless to be born)

Answer 27

adopted, and totally unplanned

i have been told IRL probably 30 times

online, i dont have a clue, too many to count

Answer 28

NEVER been told that.  

Not adopted.

Planned.

Answer 29

Not adopted

Can't recall ever hearing it applied to me.

I only hear it from people that don't want to hear other people going against the grain of adoption being a solution.

IRL and on many sites.  

Answer 30

I was told it just last night by someone on YouTube watching one of my videos.

Infact, I'm going to Vblog about it now.

I've been told it more times than I can count.

Heres a blog piece I wrote on it:

http://antiadoption.wordpress.com/2008/0...

and look at this 'dumpster' commercial advocating for safe havens... i can't imagine the stigma safe haven adoptees will face ugh!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqMwz6H0D...

Answer 31

never - not adopted - planned