How Much Info Should I Share with Someone on a Genealogy Site?

Question

I have stumbled upon a very distant "cousin" who I would like to exchange family tree information with.

I am concerned that I don't violate "prudent rules" by sharing too much information about people --- especially people who are still alive.

What info should I share? What should I not share?

Am I correct that it would be wrong to share names, birthdates, marriages, etc of people who are still alive?

Both of us have information on people who died a long long time ago. But, we both have information on people who are still alive --- immediate family, cousins, aunts and uncles.

I want to work with my newly found "cousin" to fill out family trees without being unwise while doing so.

Answer 1

I always send privitized GEDCOMs, for two reasons.

First, if your distant cousin shares with someone who shares with someone . . . sooner or later everyone in the world is going to know your uncle had to get married and your grandmother is a widow.

Second, if you happen to see your uncle on a public site, such as RWWC, with his dates intact (married in June, son born in November) and your grandmother in the same place, with "details withheld" for her but name and death date for her husband, you know that the cousin you sent your data to didn't pass it on. What he (she) doesn't have he (she) can't propagate.

Answer 2

I agree with the other posts here-  be careful over the risk of identity theft.

Answer 3

You could start out slow, sharing what you know about those who are gone.

I have found long lost cousins too, and we have shared just about everything we knew.  All the genealogists I have run into are more that willing to share and very above board.

If you keep this up, you will probably run into more long lost cousins.

Good luck and have fun.

Answer 4

Birth, marriage, and death dates are a matter of public record, so I wouldn't feel bad about sharing them with a relative who had a reason for being interested. I wouldn't give out phone numbers, addresses or email addresses - instead, tell the distant cousin that you could pass on their contact info if they want. And I don't give info on children.