How To Deal...I need major advice...Help me with this please!

Question

Ok,My husband and I have been going really good...2 years next month...When he and I separated for about a week last year we were still seeing each other and talking alot.We separated to see if a break would help our relationship, we kinda were arguing alot.Anyway, This one girl who works at the same area as him thought we were over for good, so she tried to be nice and close to me. She would invite me over to her house alot and always check up on what I was doing. Well, she actually had the nerve tot ell me she liked my husband. Which was massively stupid of her because Number 1, He is with me and she knew that. Number 2, They are 2nd cousins.I know creepy. But she still had no idea that my husband and I were together.She even tried as hard as she could to get with him,he was telling me about how much she was trying.lol.kinda funny.But after she told me that she liked him, he and i kept our distance from her and she noticed that. she didnt like it, i knew because she was texting my husband telling him that she still wants to be friends, and then she would text me and tell me the same thing. But after a while, my husband started hearing things at work, that this girl was saying he was talking SH*T about her. So he told me and asked if i heard anything. I told him NO. But this girl kept making up things and it would all get to my husband. So i finally confronted her about it and she was insisting that she just wanted to have him in her life as a friend since she cant have him as anything else. I am cool with them being friends, but he wont do it because he thinks she creeped him out. lol. Well, a week ago, I got an anonymous message saying that my husband has been cheating on me behind my back with girls at work. And that my engagement ring came form him stealing jewelry. Which is pathetic cause my husband and I went together to get my ring. He has a well paying job that does help pay bills and get us and our 2 kids by. Well, This anonymous letter really irritated me, and so i confronted my husband and he took it as a joke, but when he saw how upset I was he got mad. He took the letter with him to work(according to him) and showed it to his female co-workers to see who wrote it, because he knows the female co-workers will find out faster than the men would, since this letter was written by a woman(according to its sayings). Well, I was upset because I started to suspect my husband was cheating on me and it hurt to think that. But he kept telling me he never did. I mean, he stays home all the time, doesnt go out unless im with him. He only goes to work and home and comes back on time everyday. He has been honest with me (from what i know)...But i wanna know...Could he be cheating? Does it sound like he is? Have any of you other women been through this? Have any of you men been through this? Please help me...This insecurity is ruining my marriage...I cant look at him the same way...Even getting intimate is getting hard...I need advice...Thank You so much in advance to all of you.

Answer 1

Someone is out to cause trouble and you know who it is.

You know your husband better than any of us, I would be inclined to think he is not cheating - only because you say you are around each other all the time.  This girl once tried to tell me my boyfriend was cheating, but I'm around him ALL the time and knew him better than that. I didn't give it a second thought.  As it turns out, she wasn't happy about me & my boyfriend being together in the first place.  Don't let someone else make you doubt your husband.  It sounds as though you are a little insecure so anything like this will make you more likely to doubt your husband is telling the truth.

Why did you have to take a break last year??

Answer 2

Tough question....I think his 2nd cousin is trying to put a rift in your relationship.  Its working already.  For some reason it sounds like it came from her.  

Then again it could be that he is being unfaithful.  Look into hiring a private investigator.

Answer 3

just a guess, and i think you feel the same thing by the way you have put the two together in here, i think the second cousin is messing with you.  from what you say i think your husband is being straight with you, if this woman is not stopped by being related, talks to you about it while you are married, and has been caught spreading rumors once before......this woman sounds more than just a bit off to me.  i always think you need to give your spouse enough rope to hang themselves, and if they are messing around, they will, this is experience.  if you accuse, and he is innocent you have created a monster that didn't exist.  trust the man until he gives you sufficent reason not to.

Answer 4

Congratulations on the big two years.  If he has been with you this long i think he is very happy. you sound like a strong wonderful woman. If he is home often and doesn't leave the house without you.  He loves you and enjoys to be around you. I think that his second cousin probably sent you that letter. He bought you that ring with his money as a gesture of love and care. The second cousin probably thought that if she sent the letter he stole the money to save his time and money. Obviously it sort of worked but I'm here to help you. He works to help pay the bills so he obviously doesn't leave work. He is home right after work and on time so he couldn't wait to see you.  He only leaves the house if you leave with him so you watch him and he doesn't do anything. I think you're just worrying. Your husband isn't  cheating he loves you very very much.  Forget about that stupid BI*** she's jealous! Happy marriage and i hope you guys are togeather for a long long LONG time!

Answer 5

well wat u just said does add up and the answer is he's most likely not cheating. the letter was obviously a lie because the part about the ring wasn't true. relax because this insecurity about yourself and relationship is not good at all. chill out and talk to him about how this is effecting you

Answer 6

Sounds like she is the one sending you that stupid message saying he's cheating. You have to be carefull asking people on the internet if THEY think he is cheating, nooone knows him better then you, so you should no. I dont think its likely at all to be honest.

advice, use some breaks in the paragraphs of your questions, it was somewhat difficult to read the whole thing=).. take care.

Answer 7

ooooohhh dam you married the rong guy  

Answer 8

Sounds like you made a mistake by unloading your emotional stuff on her and she is trying to take advantage. You inadvertently allowed a local psychopath to insert yourself into your household affairs and it may take some doing to get her out. Keep that letter as evidence.

If you are really worried about him cheating, just look at the cell phone records when the bill comes in.

Have her numbers blocked from all of your phones, and if they continue showing up on his phone bill after that, then you know you have a problem.

If they don't, you may have to consider getting a restraining order against her, since she is clearly stalking you and your husband.

Until then, pour on the good lovin'. Make date nights with your guy. Get some naughty nighties from the lingerie store and a babysitter for the weekend.

Answer 9

You seriously need to tell him that you don't want the two of them talking. Even as friends. At all. If he respects you, he'll be okay with that. (What's more important, your marriage, or this chick?)

She's trying to get with him, obviously, that's why she wants to "be friends." If she wasn't trying, she would just avoid him.

I'm not here to judge, but if you two went on a break, and continued with the intimacy--that's not a break. And it doesn't sound very stable.

You need to sit down with him and tell him you don't want him talking to that girl at all, and ask him where you two should go from here.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Sounds like that the second cousin wrote it to get you paranoid which has worked a charm for her bcoz now you suspect ur hubby is cheating..

It sounds like she  has finally found away to break you guys up so that she could have him...

Think about what you have just wrote hun the clues are all there, she says she wants him as a friend if nothing else and then this letter arrives??? She is still pursuing him, have faith in your man hun, he sounds pretty genuine...