How To Deal With The Neighbor From h**l!?

Question

My husband is doing great with his job and we just relocated from Phoenix to Dallas. We moved into Highland Park which is a pretty affluent neighborhood. All seemed well.

My son, who is 10, became friends with our next door neighbor kid who is the same age. The husband next door is extremely nice but the wife is... well... I won't say the word.

Her diet routine is honorable (all organic, no fast food and barely any restaurants. She makes all her own juices). She wouldn't allow her son to eat dinner with us (we ordered pizza) the other night and my son came home from a sleepover last weekend and told me that her son told him that his mom said "Jason's mom is a bad mom. We do things differently than her."

I wanted to punch this lady! How do I deal with psycho woman!?

Answer 1

Stop for a minute.  You're upset because of something that one ten-year-old told you that another ten-year-old said that his mother said.  That's a lot of people in between you and the original speaker, which means there's no way for you to know whether the words you heard were spoken by the other mother or not.

The other mother could very well have said, "No, son, you know we don't eat pizza."  But from past conversations about other people who don't follow the same dietary guidelines, the son could have filled in the rest for himself:

My mom is a good mom

My mom doesn't feed us pizza

Good moms don't feed their kids pizza

The lady next door gives her kids pizza

therefore the lady next door is not a good mom.

So give the mom the benefit of the doubt.  Why don't you have her over and ask her what types of things are okay to feed her son?  Tell her that you would love to have him to dinner since your boys are becoming friends, but that you want to be certain you're able to stay within her guidelines.  If her son had food allergies or religious restrictions, you would certainly want to know so that you could prepare dinner accordingly.  Preparing a dinner that accommodates this boy once a month or even twice a month certainly can't be that big a hardship.

But if her son tells your son again that you are a bad mom, then you should sit down with the mom and tell her that's what you're hearing.  If she IS saying that, the two of you need to clear the air.  If she ISN'T saying that, she needs to deal with her son.

Answer 2

I would start by encouraging my son to find other friends and avoiding them altogether, she had no right to say that, she is very rude very low class and cheap and obviously feels threatened by you...all the neighbor stories almost always have a nice husband and kids and a horrible wife and mother.

EDIT: Just read laura d's answer; print it out and give it to your neighbor psycho, that is the best by far.

Answer 3

Ugh, crazy, tree-hugging, liberal, frou frou nutjob. :)

I'd go over to her and say something like the following:

"Hey Marie, my son just told me your son told him you think I'm a bad mom. Whether or not that's true, I don't know, but just in case it is, that is not something to relate to a ten-year-old. If you have any problems with my behavior, please discuss it with me directly or if you don't like confrontation, complain to your husband, when your son is not around. I can appreciate you might not agree with certain things I do, as I don't neccesarily agree with certain ways you bring up your children, yet this is why the United States are so great, we both get to raise our kids however we please, you with your super-organic, no fat, no sugar, no flavor juices...and me with pizza and coke. Our sons genuinely seem to like eachother, and this doesn't mean we have to become best friends, but we are neighbors, and I would very much like to be able to have a good parent-to-parent relationship with you, for the kids' sake. So, I hope that unless I am doing something that really offends you to the core, we keep our differences from getting in the way of our sons' friendship. And may I just say your roses do look lovely, have a great day." :)

Answer 4

You need to talk to her, in a nonconfrontational way. Tell her that you know that shes been calling you a bad mom and that she needs to keep her rude comments to herself. And also its very immature of her to be saying those things to her son! If you are not good with confrontation, write it to her in a letter. It helps get your point across.

It is extremely wrong for her to be saying that your a bad mom. Your son is at an extremely vulnerable age. He'll believe or feel guilty over what she said. Things that you say to a young child WILL effect them for a long time. Not only is she making your life h**l, she is damaging the way your son views you. If anything, SHES the bad mom for gossiping to her young child.

Answer 5

Splash holy water in her face like in the movie The Exorcist xx

Answer 6

i'd just carry on as normal, really the things you have lsited alone dont seem enough to start a war over or constitute a neighbour from h**l - you should try living round here!

Dont do anything, carry on as you do normaly - you know your not a bad mum but if you do hear her directly saying anything about you then by all means challenge it, shes obviously a little to proud of her ways and also very insensitive to say such negative things in front of your child.

But dont go running round going on about something your 10 year old son overheard, just make sure that if she ever does say anything to your face that you tell her straight that you are not a bad mother no matter how differently you do things to her!