How To Politely Ask Someone To Stop Calling?

Question

I have a close number of friends. One friend right now is pregnant and her baby daddy was a one night stand and he wants nothing to do with her and she's 14 weeks. She keeps going onto myspace and making desperate attempts to contact him.

While I feel sorry for her and I'm excited to talk to her she only has ONE subject to go on and on about and it gets really tiresome when someone is calling you 15 times a day to blab about this new ache or pain or how they have to pee every 20 minutes.

She's 19 and this is her first pregnancy. I'm 20 and I've never been pregnant. Besides ignoring her calls which is getting annoying to do how do I politely ask her to stop calling me so much?

Answer 1

Tell her your really buisy and dont want to ignore her becuase you care about her but you just have so much on your plate. Tell her you want to set up a special time each week to talk to her and she can update you then. Make it all about you and make her feel like you still care. Remeber she is hormonal.

Answer 2

Be nice, but also be firm with her and straight to the point.  Tell her that you appreciate her time, but can't always afford her time.  Work on setting up some boundaries with her.  For example, tell her that you only have time to talk on the phone 2 nights a week.  Besides, someone calling 15 times a day not only makes the relationship unhealthy, it can also mean a very expensive phone bill, so make that clear to her.  I had this similar problem when I was going to college two hours away from where my friend lives; he would call me just about everyday esp right after his grandpa died.  This was when I was busy with homework and studying and it was starting to p*ss me off.  So the next time I saw him in person, I set up a strict boundary where he's only allowed to call me 2 nights a week after 9:00pm (I get free unlimited minutes after 9pm).  As a true friend, he was understanding and started respecting my wishes.  Since that, our relationship has grown stronger and we never ran out of things to talk about on the phone.  So, just try this on her, and if she's a true friend, she will respect your boundaries.  Best of luck.

Answer 3

if this is a close friend of yours, i would ( and i do mean this in the nicest way!!) suck it up and take her calls. this seems like a devastating and frustrating situation for her, and she needs support from someone she cares about - you. i know it's a drag, but she'll never forget how kind and caring you were during her difficult time. what goes around comes around - you never know when you're going to need somebody!

as far as how to get her to stop calling, you could say that you're trying to save money and that your phone company charges you for incoming calls but not outgoing ones, and that you'll call her. ( but actually call her!)

Answer 4

Sometimes, the best way to solve a problem, is by confronting it directly.  You can try one of these and see which might work best for you!  "SO and SO, I know you are preggers by Daddy No Mo, but honey, this is getting old quick.  I know you are excited about all this hoopalah with the baby and all, but honestly, I have reached my limit AFTER your 3rd call.  Can you please not call so much, I need to get things done and its really hard to concentrate while focusing on your latest, self induced, I have to pee for the 20th time in a 1/2 hour"  "Wow!  I can't believe you are telling me this AGAIN after our hour long conversation about your pea sized bladder problem"  "TMI! TMI!  Please darling, I would like to talk about something concerning me for a moment, do you mind?"  "I know you, your one night stand (AKA your baby's Daddy) and your pregnancy is the most important thing to you, but after listening to the same thing, re-visited for the 20th time in 2 hours, gets to be old really quick, can we talk about something a little more important to ME for a bit, for a change of pace?!"  "Oh I'd LOVE to talk about your swelling feet, your pea sized bladder, and the baby punching your spine, but I really need to go toss my cookies, can I call you back?!" Then don't call!  She'll get the hint!  Good luck!

Answer 5

I had a friend like this, also, so I can sympathize with what you're going through. She wanted to call me to tell me everything that was going on because I was (and still am) the only one in my group of girlfriends who hasn't been married or has children.

I sat her down at dinner one night alone and explained to her that I care about her immensely but I can't take her calls all the time, and to not be offended if I can't talk to her at certain parts of the day. She had suggested getting together once a week (usually part of our Sunday brunch) to update me on what's going on. After awhile (about 2 weeks), she started calling me once a week if she needed to, or just to say hi.

Being diplomatic about this is the best way to go, as she is pregnant - and my girlfriends say they cannot be held responsible for what they do while they're pregnant! - but be honest with her. Let her know you still care for her and want to be there for her. She'll respect you for being so honest with her.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

tell her, you dont have time to talk on the phone. let her feel that you also care for her ( Though you're not affected hehehe) by telling her you're sorry for what happened to her but it's better to talk about it in person.

Answer 7

Tell her directly and straight to stop calling you: "dear friend, I'm happy you're pregnant. I can help you with the baby. But, calling me 15 times a day will NOT WORK if you are trying to get my attention. Please stop calling me".

If she keeps calling, block her phone number (check with your phone provider if they have that feature/service).

If you can't block her phone, just change your phone number.

Answer 8

Not answering the phone is about as polite as you can get.

Just let the machine get it for a couple days and she'll get the message.

It's just easier on the relationship than actually saying something right to her face.

Answer 9

Get caller ID and stop answering the phone...she'll eventually catch on.

Answer 10

She is scared.  You need to direct her to some counseling.  Tell her you'd like to help when you can but you are not qualified to counsel her every hour of the day.