How To Sort Myself Out Before Fostering A Traumatised Child?

Question

In my other questions I have stated how I'm interested in fostering a child when I am 18. I just let one of my friends know about it & he criticised saying that I should leave it to the people who know what they are doing.. This is something I really want to do so should I go for it?

How can I sort myself out over the next 2 years (I am 16 at the moment) to make sure I can offer her the stable environment that she needs? Is it worth leaving school now to do an apprenticeship or get a full time job, so that I have a reliable source of income, my friend said that her coming just after I was finished yr 12 wouldn't be stable, even though it WOULD be! Any advice anyone can offer to help the Human Services Department see that I am the right person to take the little girl in to my home? How do I get it started? Is it worth speaking to lawyers now? Or wait until I am 18? Also if anyone can answer my other questions it would be greatly appreciated as I would like to start sorting this out!

Answer 1

well, i just want to say that you have a big heart. call the social services department in your area and they can tell you what you'll need to do. you don't need a lawyer, but you will have to show steady income, have a room for her, etc....

i don't think leaving school to go work would be a good idea. you need to take care of yourself first. if they see you can take care of yourself, then they'll see that you can take care of someone else.

i hope everything works out.

in the meantime, is there another family that you know of that would just take her in? i had a friend who just went to live with her best friends family. granted they didn't get any money from the foster care system, but they could afford it. they helped her go through counseling and then college. when she's a certain age, she can emancipate herself from her parents. just some thoughts....

best wishes.

Answer 2

Is she in foster care now?  Who are you to decide that she needs stability?  I am sorry, but you are just a kid, and you don't really know the situation, and even at 18 you will still be just a kid.

Dropping out of school is not going to help you become a foster parent.  Stay in school, when you are 18 look into fostering (but you probably need to be 21).  

Good luck.

Answer 3

I think 18 is young. Because you are developing parts of your personality still - and your views and ideas are still growing rapidly. You could jointly care for a child if you would like to help.

Young mothers would tell you, you are never ready, no matter how old you are. So thats not the issue. Caring for a child is a growing, learning and changing experience - sometimes even therapeutic (but never intentionally so).

Please do not leave your education for this. Just keep in close contact with young mothers - you can even volunteer to help in pedeatric ward in hospitals.

Answer 4

you'll probably find your too young. i was looking into adopting a child, which i know is a different thing, but has many similarities. And most organisations require you to be 21 years older then the child, or be in a long term relationship. Good Luck! and i didn't mean to sound like i was ruining anything for you

Answer 5

its a good idea, just be careful, kids are very fragile... idk what to tell you, i dont think you need to think twice about it, just go forward and hope for the best, ... "shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you'll land amoung the stars..."

Answer 6

That's a huge commitment to take on at 18. You're obviously a very kind person but I think it takes a lot of life experience to be in a postion to manage a difficult child. You might not be able to offer that child what he/she needs. Whether you like it or not you are still a child yourself.

Answer 7

You sound like this is something you really want to do so you should go for it.  But first sit down and make a plan.  So you get this child will you work a full time job.  If so where will the child be during this time.  Will you be able to afford clothes, school and doctors visits.  How about if you want to go out with your friends where will the child be.  Can you afford rent, pay your bills and keep food in the house?  There are many things you should think about before jumping into this.  Go to the DHS and talk with them tell them your plans and see what they say.  Will you be able to handle a child with severe problems?  I would ask them about any training you could go to to handle emergencies and outbursts.  I would make a list of questions they may ask you at DHS and answer each one and see where you are then.  But yeah go ahead and make your plans so you will be prepared.