How To Tell My Husband Is Ok..?

Question

I'm in my last semester of college and I was doing data entry home business till I got bored of it and was stressing me out. So I found a job as manager at gas station which pays about the same and more benefits my husband doesn't want me working there saying that guys will bother me and is going to look bad saying his wife is a manager at gas station. He says only fat ugly women work in there. He also saying is a deal breaking for him he will come there and get me in trouble if I get the job. Married 2yrs he is 32 i'm 23.

Answer 1

if it is bad now wait until you get finished with school and then he is going to tell you again where to work.  you did not go through all that school to be controled.  

Answer 2

Tell him to be a man and learn to stand up for you or you're outta there.  

Answer 3

He is control freak it always strats like this if you do this i will leave let him leave. He is not your dad if the job pays good and you like it go for it. Beside if he wants to act like a cave men he needs to be making more money so his wife won't need to work.

Answer 4

He is treating you like a little girl because of the age difference.  stop it now, or he will do it for the rest of your life.  tell him that you are a grown woman, and you will work wherever you want to work regardless of what he thinks, unless he can find you an easier job, that pays better!!!!  do not let him control you.  Men like that get worse if they are allow to get by with it!!

Answer 5

Sounds like he's insecure about your commitment to him. Reassure him of your love and faithfulness. What's the age got to do with it? Does it bother you or him?  It sounds like his ex might have cheated and you must pay for her mistakes. Talk to him and tell him how your not her and how you would never betray his trust.

Answer 6

tell him to get over himself ,and in this day and time if he is acting this jealous over you working and not trusting you he will always find reasons not to trust you, be careful because in my experiences with some one like that the reason for his lack of trust is b/c he is up to no good him self , sorry but true  he should be grateful for your financial support and not giving you a hard time ,the job you are taking is HARD work not social fun time and should be proud of you for the effort , any man who is 32 years old and says he is gonna get you in trouble at work has real insecurity issues and needs to get help for himself , you need to not back off and do what you gotta do or you will always be backing off and one day you will feel used up and very   alone feeling and he will be the one robbing you but you will be the one letting it happen. remember you teach people how to treat you and what you put up with now will be the standard that expect latter in life , good luck and be blessed ,hope it all works out for ya  

Answer 7

This sounds bad.

I could just about accept him saying that he was worried about guys bothering you at the gas station, although it had unpleasant undertones of jealousy.

I lost sympathy for his point of view when you said that he doesn't like the idea of you working in the gas station because it would make him look bad. First, how could that possibly make him look bad? Second, since when is it your duty to make him look "good"? Third, what does it matter how he "looks" when you're putting food on the table?

Him threatening to do something that will get you fired if you get the job is totally outrageous.

This man is bad news. If he was 18 and acting this way, I would suggest that there's a possibility of him maturing, but I suspect it's unlikely he'll change at his age and I'm pretty certain this incident is not the only thing that's bothering you. I think your suspicions are right and he is a control freak. Please try to get away as soon as you can.

Answer 8

Judging by the age difference, I agree above, he's a total control freak.

Tell him to bugger off that you want a job and that's the one you have right now.

Answer 9

Hes just trying to be in control. If he divorces you over your job, then let the b*****d go!

Answer 10

OK, I would not want my wife to manage a gas station either because of the hours, also depending what city you are living in I would be worried about crime.  

Now if it was somethingshe really wanted to do I would call the local police and get a crime history of the area to find out if it is a safe place to work.

As far as him not even wanting to talk about it and getting you in trouble if you work there, it sounds like he likes you being at home when he gets home and enjoying your company.  This is a good thing by the way he just does not know how to express these feelings and if he did it might not be such an issue.  After all have you read in here how many spouses want there wives gone and yours wants you around.

Answer 11

Tell him that him trying to tell you where you can work and threatening to interfere with your job is a deal breaker for you.  Seriously, you want to re-think this so-called marriage.  Your husband is a controlling jerk.

Answer 12

WOW all I can say about that is that he's a REAL jackass!!!!!!!!!!!!!  BUT you picked him??  You need to grow a backbone and let him know that you won't be treated this way!!!!!!!!!  Your not a child. Your a grown woman that can make her own decisions. Didn't it seem cute at first when you were dating him. When he told you what to do and you probally often thought>>>OH HE LOVES ME>>>>>>  Now you find out that he just wants to run your life. We woman need to stop thinking when some men want to run our lives that we see it as HE LOVES ME!!!!  Then later on we don't like it. IT'S NOT LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!  It's CONTROL!!!!!   Like I said. Nip it in the bud NOW. Or you'll be dealing with this kind of behavior for many many many years!!!!!!!!!  OH by the way. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. If it's the manager job at the gas station>>>So be it. It's what makes YOU happy that counts here. Not anybody else!!!

Answer 13

All I can say is that it is not fair. I would never tell my Girl that, if that is what she wanted then it is fine with me, as long as she is happy. I guess he doesn't want you to be happy.

Answer 14

That is a little over zealous right?  He is afraid of shame, but that is confidence issues he has.  He sounds slightly insecure over the situation and needs to trust that you are doing the right thing for both of you.

Answer 15

Aw hun, you are an adult, you do not answer to anyone, not even your husband.

If you want a particular job, then you go get the job you want, don't let yourself by bullied & ridiculed by your husband.

Simply tell him " I'm getting this job, with or without your support, only with your support would be far easier.  If however you don't like it, then you know d**n well where the door is, don't let it hit you on the a*se when you leave ! "

Don't let your husband's immature insecurities hold you back. You were a strong person before you married him, you need to be just as strong now.

Put him in his place, he's married to you, you are his equal, not his possession.

Good Luck. X :-)