How Would You React If ...?

Question

I brought my son Thomas (pictured left) in to the ladies pubic toilets with me ?

Just wondering what you would make of this ..

Answer 1

Personally, I would find it disgusting.

Undoubtedly, someone would place a complaint.

He's 10 years old, he needs privacy, and all the girls women in the changing room would feel extremely uncomfortable with him in there.

Please, don't do it.  

Answer 2

i honestly wouldnt think twice about.

if i did i would think that your a mom who either doesnt trust your child alone. or the child has some special need. or your husband isnt with you so you made him come in.

since its a special need it would be like me leaving my 5 year old outside alone

take him with you hun  better safe than sorry dont let others make you feel bad  

Answer 3

I wouldn't care.

At home I have an audience watching me go to the toilet, so I am fully used to kids. It's not like Thomas will be in the cubical with me. If he was, heck it's nothing I am not used to it.

If he needs to come with you, he needs to come with you. That's life.

You ought to see peoples faces when I take my tribe to the toilet. hehe

Answer 4

It wouldn't worry me to much, he looks about 8-10, I wouldn't be leaving him alone outside that's for sure,I think you are doing the right thing by you and him, ignore the ignorant,

Answer 5

I wouldn't make much of it just because you see it all the time in public.  If his autism is as sever as you say people can probably tell he has medical issues and would never expect you to leave your child alone.  Don't worry about it and if people have a problem nicely explain to them what is going one, they will feel like real asses.  

Answer 6

I'd look the other way...#1- he's 10, a child still, and lots of moms bring their 10 year old into the ladies room...it's just not safe to send a boy child into the mens room alone anymore.

#2- I am sure the disability is outwardly obvious, and therefore he needs to be with you.

If someone ever said anything to me about it I'd rip them a new one. Just make sure he's not looking under the stalls and all is good.

Answer 7

I dont mean this in a rude way, but most public toilets have disabled toilets, so if YOU are uncomfortable taking him into the ladies then you could use them. Im guessing his father isn't around, or if he is you are just talking about it just you and him (as in his father isn't there to take him into the gents.

I know a boy who has severe autism and he is 17 but most of the time when they are out his dads there or grandad, but I can't remember if hes able to go alone. I think for now its ok taking your son into the ladies, but in a few years time (even if he isn't very communicative) people may start to feel uncomfortable. Thats the reason why men and women have separate toilets, with a disabled one for these circumstances.

i bet ur son is a great kid though And I hope he has a happy, fulfilled life! (and u of course!)

Answer 8

I would react by simply thinking to myself that he needs help going to the potty.  If he's autistic and needs help, then there's nothing weird about it.  It would not bother me at all.

Anyone who gives you a hard time needs a lesson in manners and to be educated on autism.  Most parents would/should not be bothered in the least though....at least not the stuck up ones.

Answer 9

I don't worry about what other people are doing around me unless they are hurting me or someone else.

I am bright enough to realize that obviously there is a reason that the boy is in the women's bathroom. I wouldn't get upset or think it's disgusting.  

Answer 10

Dont' worry about anyone else. You do whats best for your son. If they say anything then you can say he has autism and you can't leave him outside. I wouldn't feel unformfortable though. It's not like we would be sharing a cubicle.  

Answer 11

I'd prefer not to see a 10 year old boy in the ladies toilet, as obviously womans toilets are for woman, HOWEVER i completely understand that some parents need to bring their children in to non-unisex places. I wouldnt say anything to a mother who brought her child into the toilets, but I may wonder what is going on there (its only human nature to be curious).

I hope that you dont get many woman reacting in a bad way to you, it must be stressful for you. I think you must be a pretty good mum to know that your son is so special.

Answer 12

This wouldn't bother me at all as you say he doesn't really notice anyone so he won't be bothering anyone and besides that in women's toilets you are using a cubicle so there should be no one being embarrassed with him being there it's not like the gents where everything is on show if you know what i mean,if you are beginning to feel uncomfortable with bringing him in with you couldn't you maybe just use the disabled toilets and you would both get some privacy from others,he is a growing boy and although he might not notice or understand he will eventually need privacy for himself  

Answer 13

I wouldn't react at all as I have to take my 10 year old autistic son , also called Thomas in the ladies toilets with me. I am a single parent and when I take him out it is just me and his sisters , so their is no choice . I have had the funny looks and the comments when I take him in there but once I explain that he is autistic and that there is no other way , it isn't a problem.  

Answer 14

Personally as long as the child isn't trying to attack me, I wouldn't mind.

Womens bathrooms have stalls with doors so others can't see whats going on, it's not like the kid would be staring at me peeing!

And if he did, big whoop, everyone pee's.

People are just ignorant and don't seem to understand that some kids need constant supervision even at 10.

Answer 15

From what you have described, it seems your child's condition would be apparent to the other women in the restroom.  I would not be bothered at all.  You have to do what you have to do to care for your son.

Answer 16

I would think that you had your reasons and that it was your business.  I would like to see all parents being so caring and protective of their children.  My eldest grandson is Asperegic so I would understand too.

BTW your son is quite beautiful. : - )

Answer 17

So you see my point about this problem I am having too.  It seems that a lot more understanding comes when you tell people about the autism, however many people make up their minds that here is a good looking able bodied boy that is obviously not preschool aged.  I just see it getting worse the older my son looks and gets, but mentally he is not capable of being alone for a few minutes and that probably won't be changing as years pass.  idk

Answer 18

A lot of mother's of young children, or children with special needs, bring their children into public bathrooms with them. I'm not sure how old he is, but sooner or later, I suggest you bring that to an end (even though I know he has autism) because people may not feel comfortable with having a 11 or 12 year old boy in the bathroom with them.

Personally though, as long as he wasn't looking in between the cracks or under the doors, I could care less.

Answer 19

If your son has special needs, then yeah, he needs to be with you

Like someone has allready said, whats he gonna see anyways?

A ladies room is full of cubicles, not like a gents room.

So I say do what you have been doing

One side note thou

Most shopping centers etc have a disabled or wheelchair access toilet

Not saying you son is "disabled" for one second, but you may simply find it easier to take him into one of these rather than a ladies room.

The Real Zero

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MEMBER SINCE 31/8/06

Answer 20

You have to look after your son that comes first, ladies toilets are all cubicles anyway so unless he looks under doors there is not a problem.it would not be safe to send him in gents on his own.so carry on taking care of him its fine by me.

Answer 21

Personally, I wouldn't have an issue with it at all - from how you describe your son - and my limited knowledge of autistic children, I would say it is probably fairly obvious to all but the most ignorant of people that he has needs over and above those of most 10 year olds and that your doing this is a necessity.

Having said that, I would echo what someone else has said, I probably wouldn't let any 10 year old go to a public toilet alone if a daddy wasn;t there to go with them.

As for children 'perving' for god's sake! Those children clearly don't know how to behave in public!

Answer 22

I would not have an issue at all. This is life for Thomas, and you're helping him out. I have absolutely no issue if a woman takes a boy into the ladies' room or if a man takes his daughter into the men's room. I have no issue in this situation or anything similar to it. If he was 15 and non-autistic I would be a bit confused, but it is absolutely okay.

Answer 23

don't even worry about it my friend.I had to do similar thing with my son when he was younger.I'm lucky Dan has Aspergers so he had the cognitive ability to learn to toilet himself.I got some god awful stares and comments from ignorant women who should have seen i was trying to do the best i could for my son.My boy did not appear profoundly disabled so i was subjected to some awful behaviour from ppl .Good to see you on here again,i haven't seen you on y/a for a while.regards your aussie mate♥

Answer 24

well you should do that ,because you know Thomas*GOd bless him*needs every second of your time ,and who doesnt like that let them bang their heads through a wall

you cant leave your child freaks out and get into a state because caring of others

Answer 25

Honestly, it wouldn't bother me personally one bit. But I have a cousin with aspergers, so I understand autism and the autistic spectrum slightly more than others.

If anybody seems bothered by it I would just explain that he is autistic and therefore doesn't understand, and you would appreciate if they would respect that.

Answer 26

I think this would be an adventure for Thomas. He might be as shocked as a deer in headlights. It brings me back several of memories from when I personally was afraid of public toilets as a kid. I just would never go to a bathroom unless I trusted it's owner or manager. Perhaps he feels this way.... remember I am an Aspie. In fact, if I did use a public toilet, my parents would give me some help I cannot discuss here.  My message to the mothers here is that nothing compares to experience... we need each other.

Answer 27

It depends a lot on how old he is. If he's six or under or so it should be fine. If he's older, why not just leave him outside? Anyway, what you did, you did, and anyone who might have thought is was weird has long since forgotten about it. Just for future reference, only take very small boys in with you.

Hope this helps!

Answer 28

I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. Nobody in their right minds can expect you to send him into the gents alone. If there's no men with you then there's no other option. People are wrong to have a problem with that.

Answer 29

I wouldn't be bothered at all, for a start ladies loo's are all cubicles so unless he's looking under/over the doors then he's not going to see anything. Plus he's a child and add to that the autism, it's not like he's going in there for any bad reason, he's not going to be checking out the women or anything. if it were the other way around and a girl going to the mens toilets it would be different as there are things she'd see.

Answer 30

Personally , nothing i work with special needs children including Autism and am aware of how hard it can be toileting and just going out with children with specific needs wishing you well and Thomas.