How about some absurd hair-brained hockey questions about going to the fair? ?

Question

Whoo- hoo! A State Fair/Carnival is taking place and all types NHL players and personalities are there.

1) If you saw Eric Perrin making out with the bearded lady, whom would you feel bad for in that situation?

2) You walk up to the Ferris Wheel. Never being a huge Kings fan, you see Luc Robitaille in line all by himself. He asks if you want to join him, so that he is not stuck in the same car with Ron MacLean (standing behind him). You tell him that you would be happy to join him. Once the Ferris Wheel is at the top, the ride stops to load passengers on the other side of the wheel. While you are enjoying the view, Luc decides to stand on his seat urinate in MacLean, because his booth/car is beneath yours. He asks you to join in the fun and throw your soda on him. Do you get mad a Luc or help him be a misfit?

3) Gordie Howe is working there at the fair. He guessed you weight perfectly, your age perfectly, and your astrological sign perfectly. Then he whisper in your ear, “Don’t drive home tonight. Sleep in your car.” Do you listen to him?

4) Mats Sundn is face painting little kids. Unaware of Marts artistic abilities, you stand around for a bit and watch kids come up and request him to paint butterfly, Spiderman, and other kid type objects. Unfortunately, every child walks away upset, with blue Maple Leafs painted on both cheeks. Do you find this funny, or do you suspect that there is more going on in Sundin’s head?

5) You get on the carousel (merry-go-round) and you see Patrick Roy get on the horse next to you. As the ride is starting, he explains to you that he gets bad motion sickness. Well, after 30 seconds Roy is very sick and blowing chunks all over the place. You ask the person operating the ride to stop it, but you realize that Mike Vernon is at the controls. What do you do next?

6) Emery is sizing you up while you are sliding into a bumper car. Once the power is on, you notice that he has particularly singled you out, and is repetitively slamming your car. What do you say to get him back for being a jerk?

7) You stumble across “Sean Avery’s Funhouse”. Knowing Avery’s shenanigans and personal flair (bend pinky), what do you imagine to be in the Funhouse?

Pre-thanks for the answers...sorry for any typos. I broke the rules and had coffee this morning.

Answer 1

1.) Myself for having to witness that...

2.) I'd probably be REALLY creeped out, and definitely wouldn't help him.

3.) Nope.  He may be able to guess my weight, but he's still not a psychic...Or so I think.

4.) There's something going on in his head.  Only a nutcase like Sean Avery would do that and make kids upset on purpose.

5.) Well I'd try and shield myself, and wait for the ride to finish.  Because if Vernon doesn't listen to me to stop the ride, he's the one who's gotta clean it up.

6.) How's Russia?

7.) Mannequins with designer clothes on, instead of clowns.  Funny pictures of Brodeur with the word "Fatso" spray painted across them.  At the end of the Fun House he jumps out and scares people by waving his arms around them.

Answer 2

Hey, long time, no see.

1. Tough one, let me say the bearded lady.

2. Oh, I'll help him be a misfit. If we get in trouble he can use his money to get us out.

3. I guess......lmao. What the h**l? Is Mr. Howe like psychic?

4. I just find it funny.

5. Well, I just let the ride finish then. If Mr. Vernon won't listen to me he has a mess of Mr. Roy's to clean up. >=)

6. I say something that is not suitable to be placed on here.

7. I'm not sure......I guess I'll go in and find out.

Answer 3

1) The fine folks at you-tube who now have to get their customers back. You know this will permanently scar some viewers.

2) No. I give Luc a nudge and laugh while Ron and Don beat him senseless

3) I'll just take that bottle away from him.

4) I see no evidence of anything going on in Sundin's head.

5)Time to slide on out of there.

6) Clothes-line on the way by.

7) Avery? Fun? Can't see it, Homes.

Answer 4

1) both are equally felt bad for...

2) *cough* it's pop not soda. lol

i'd probably throw the can at Luc. I don't like when people stand up on Ferris Wheels.

3) i'd tell him he was finally wrong. i don't have my own car. so HAH!

4) what a lonely soul he is.. i'd probably just go up to him and tell him that's not exactly the right way to go about trying to get new fans.. lol

5) ew. uhhh... i'd probably blow chunks just seeing him throwing up.. or i'd get off. merry-go-rounds don't go THAT fast at fairs.

6) "you ARE aware Russia is the place where players go when you can't make it in the NHL anymore, right?"

7) it's not a fun house. it's a clothing house... what a trickkk...

Answer 5

Great questions...your a nut...Let me ponder these!!!

#1. I'd feel bad for the people WHO had to witness that "Hairy situation"

#2.I sure would join in, "Poke some Smot" on the Ferris wheel with Luc the kook , and wiz on Mac too.

#3.like Yoda? "Choices make smart, Gordo" I'd chill, I'm sure he is just inviting me to a killer Carney party after hours

#4.Give him a bag of Swedish fish and tell him if he doesn't make up his mind soon I'm mailing him back to Ikea.

#5.Pull Pat's Jersey over his head so his chunks stay with him.

#6. Toss Patrick Roys puke on him and call in Luc the Kook and Mikey Vernon, to help beat down the most Disrespectful maroon to strap on leg pads.

#7.Have you ever seen a Jersey Shore Guido's House...Like that but with, whoopie cushions and cheezier girls. Plus there are no Mirriors in the fun house,they are all up in Seans room.

Answer 6

If I going to a fair, may I taste your wares?

1)I feel sorry for the offspring of that unholy union.

2)I finish most of my soda, pee in the cup, then throw it at him.  Lemon coke,yum!!!!

3)I'll tempt fate, but first I ask him what the Powerball numbers will be.

4)I think he's doing it to target future draft picks. Either that or we will see him on Dateline NBC: Predator Raw

5) See, what you left out was the part about McCarty sitting behind Roy, and when the chunks started flying, McCarty jump off his horse and punched him out.  After the ride stopped, Vernon hit him a few more times because he was pissed about having to clean up Roy's stomach contents.

6)"So what's it like to get frostbite on your sac in Siberia,loser?" Then I plow right back into him. No backing down.

7)The Metrosexual hairstylist, all mirrors made to look everyone as fat as Brodeur, and a fashion consultant from Vogue.

Answer 7

1. Myself, that I'm not in there doing it.

2. Help him out for sure! h**l, I might even drop a hot carl on Maclean.

3. I run home!

4. Haha, I still like Mats, it's funny and all cool.

5. Get off and thank Mike Vernon for keeping it going! Thank f*ck I'm a Wings fan!

6. "Have your fun while it lasts, you're going to jail soon anyway."

7. It's actually a brothel, hence the name "funhouse."

EDIT - Just to add to my first answer - remember when Nips made a beard for Freckles? That was HAWT!

Answer 8

1)  Myself, and any other poor soul forced to bear witness to such misfortune.

2)  What's wrong with Ron Maclean?  He gets b*tched out and pissed on by the Don every day.  At least he doesn't show up in Detroit and stand on the doorstep waiting for a lead feed or a Stanley cup.  I would p**s on Lucky Luc.

3)  It is best that Mr. Hockey not be questioned.

4)  I would find it funny that he makes them join him in wearing the Blue Leaf in shame.

5)  I kick Roy in the chest and send him careening into a light pole.  Then I buy Vernie a Molson Canadian.

6)  Get a job.

7)  Just him, talking sh*t.  It isn't fun, or a house.  Just Sean Avery in full gear, instigating things with children.  It still entertains him, regardless of age group.

Answer 9

1) awwww. What a cute couple. I think they would both enjoy each other quite well. Let them have at it

2)Wait you mean Luc whips it out in front of me? Ok. That is a start. I might be convinced to dump my soda by Luc. If you catch my drift.

3)I listen to Gordie. He is Mr. Hockey after all.

4) Mats is sending out his decision with every kid he paints in my opinion.

5)First off Patrick would not sit next to me on any ride. I would deck him first. If he is forced to be next to me and starts that he is getting thrown off by me quick.

6)I would probably sound like a sailor with the four letter word tirade that I would let him have. None of which I can write on here.

7)Well I can see the fashion section , with fashion don'ts from the past and Avery leaping out in your face every few minutes.  

Answer 10

1) isn't the bearded lady his sister?  That's just wrong.

2) Forget the soda, I p**s too

3) why tempt fate? I find another way home

4) I suspect there is more going on in his head, and I steal his blue paint

5) I probably puke too, I don't deal well with other people blowing chunks

6) Careful Ray, I am not a 75 year-old man on the Queensway who will tolerate being pushed off the road.

7 - Nothing I want to see.