How about some pool room snappy comebacks?

Question

I'll start...you're looking at the tournament board, and see that you're going to be playing so-and-so, who's very good. The person who's standing next to you says, "Ooh, you have to play HIM?" You reply, "It's all right, I'll be playing right-handed." (My husband gave me that one...)

Now it's your turn...make them up or use ones you've used before.

Answer 1

First guy in pool hall,"Is that a ping pong paddle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

Second guy,"It's a ping pong paddle. I just stabbed some idiot in the parking lot in the eye with my pool cue and he dropped it, so I kept it as a souvenir. "

Answer 2

I'm Stronger than a caveman with no deodorant... That guy is a world beater... nice break sally does your husband play too!

Answer 3

I have used this one on a guy mouthing off!.

You know what!, the the night's bad, but I am twice as bad, so don't mess with me!. I used to get alot of that!.

Your comeback reminds me of this friend who used to play right handed, good enough to beat many, and to get a guy in a game, he would say come on, I'll play you left handed!, but he was naturally left handed. or he would play them one handed, according to who he was playing.

Good ones Johnny, I got stuck couldn't come up with any, til I saw yours.

EDIT- hey man the idea is to make them!.

I'm available for lessons monday nights, man!.

2 balls ah!, nice run!.

What do you call what you're playing?

The biggest fish I ever caught!.

You gonna kill that stick you're squeezing it so tight!.

That's what the chalk's for man!.

Were you going for that? didn't think so!.

Keep the white one on the table, make the other one!.

You holding the stick the wrong way man!.

You got some white stuff on your nose!.

You wanna smell my chalk?.(that's a good one)

If I missed, it couldn't be made man!.

Answer 4

you were the best in here until I came in the door

Answer 5

Good one Lea. Wish I'd thought of asking this one. Trash-talking can make for good banter.

1. I said I wanted your best game. If that's all you got, wait a minute, I'll call my 6-year-old grandson. He needs the practice.

2. Next time you're in town let me know... I'll save you cab fare and pick you up myself.

3. I'd offer you the break and the first two shots but I don't want to make you look "too" bad in front of your friends; you'll handle that part yourself.

4. Usually I play call the '8' ball, but if you just hit the end rail you win.

5. (When he misses a shot by two diamonds you say) Hey, there ain't no pocket there.

6. Hope you brought a cut lunch because you're going to be sitting there awhile.

7. (When he misses what would have been the winning shot you pause... look at him... and say) Is this a trap? Nobody misses a 6-inch shot for 20-bucks.

8. (Look at your husband and say) I'm trying to throw this game but he keeps missing.

9. I said I wanted "your" best game... not your 3-year-old's.

10. It's plain to see you aren't very good. Your car doesn't look  anything like what Sandra S described. It's too good looking.

(Thought I'd throw that last one in for the benefit of our newest poster - whomever she/he may be)

Answer 6

This is the "winner".....single at the time!!....played something like 3 hours in a tournament....heavy..heavy smoking going on....girl friend had gone to Chuck E Cheese to keep my kid and hers away from me.....as we were walking out....she sniffed me all up...."Man you smell like a B#%@!"...."I stopped and sniffed her all up and said.....no I don"t".......she wacked up the head so hard it still not back on straight!!!!

Answer 7

Ha Ha I better write you with all these

What did you do with the money for lessons??

Dont tell me you saw it on TV and thought you could do it !!

I gotta play Archer Thats his problem.

Yeah I know you gotta warm up first.

Aint a safe shot suppose to hide the ball from me

Dont you just hate seeing that happen.

OH If your hungry you can go get lunch while Im shooting

YOU were on a pool team?? Didnt know special olympics had that in their program!!

Im not sure you could beat me in a spelling bee.

That book you bought on playing pool -I think its about time you read it !!

Plus bout a hundred more  I could write a book

OK one more Sandra did you find that cue stick??

or seeing big balls for a change excite you

Answer 8

How about..." Shoot pool fast Eddie"  "I'm shooting pool Fats and when I miss you can shoot too." From the movie The Hustler. Jackie Gleason and Paul Newman. My favorite. By the way Irving Crane lived In Rochester and sold Cadillacs here.