How about this poem? i also wrote it like a year ago.

Question

To the Rose of My Amour

In a spoon full of moon

With a tray crowd in ray

Fed that rose in repose

Which grew rare and so fair

Sparkling pride in black nights

To the stars she gave guide

And in her brilliance they took look

Oh! gentle marvelous

But the sun so jealous

That the moon glee in bliss

Threw her spears which caused tears

To the rose who lay toast!

Blacken are now my days

When I dwell in the air

With no taste of your wear

Oh! rose of my amour

Answer 1

Holy c**p. I really liked that. you have so much talent. You should publish that it a book or smething. I mean......that was breath taking. I'm saving that on my desktop.

It flows so well and the lines are written beautifuly. You are a very good poet. There are people out there who think they can write peotry, and there are people out there who know they can write poetry. You know you can write peotry, don;t you. This is, bella! It is wonderful. It is, *kisses fingertips* Muah!

I loved it. Keep The Pen Moving! Or in this case, keep the fingers moving.  

Answer 2

my humble unqualified opinion only - but even this poem i had to read twice to really get over the words & syntax (some words seem too contrived...). and then i truly liked it - the imagery!!!.

thought i'd be more specific - i understand your usage of "toast" - it does bring out the black/charred remains - however it completely mars the picture you've drawn of elements in Nature - from moon, rose, stars, etc. to suddenly be confronted with a Toast - one falls flat to the ground !

may be you can think of a better metaphor ?

all the best & do keep penning more poems.

Answer 3

I like it and felt it .

:0)

Answer 4

It's pretty cool but i don't think you need any ones opinion on this poetry is for yourself.

Answer 5

I like it ☺

Answer 6

It has not aged gracefully...