Question:

How am I supposed to accept an apology for this?

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My brother and his wife was hanging around a lot with my husband and I here lately. That is until his wife and he split up. Well, shortly after they split up my mother tells me that my brother been talking with his wife. He told my mother that his wife had said a lot of stuff about my husband trying to get with her and propositioning her for s*x and a whole lot of other stuff. Well, of course when my mother tells me this, I called my brothers wife. She tells me that none of that ever happened and that she never told my brother any such things. So I didn't even confront my husband about it really. Me and my husband had already been arguing a lot about my trust issues. And I had been trying to work on it to save my own marriage. Well, the next day after all that was brought up, he had been talking to her about what was going on thu text messages while I was at work. Well, she was with my brother at the time. So my brother sees that she is texting my husband and he calls me at work. He tells me that they were texting and everything while he was setting right next to her. He had been with her trying to talk things over about their marriage. Well, of course, I flew off the handle at this point. I looked at it like he already knew what was being said about the two of them, so I figured if he wasn't doing anything with her then he would be trying to avoid that situation all together. But Anyway, So I call my husband and I accuse him. Well, we yell and argue over the phone and I got so upset that I told him to come get me from work. Well, when he gets there to pick me up, he shows me the texts that was sent back and forth and all that they was about was him asking who was saying what about him and why. Well, he was so mad about how I jumped to conclusions he was even talking about leaving me. Well, come to find out, none of this happened. For one, the text that I read from her saying " that &*$%$ made up some stuff about us", talking about my brother indicates that it didn't happen. Then when I went to speak to my brother and I show him the text messages, he insists that she did tell him all that and if it didn't happen then he didn't know why she would say that. Well, my husband and I worked out our end of this mess, and my brother and his wife have been talking and trying to figure out what they want to do. Well, I was with my brother the other day and he told me that he and his wife had talked about everything. She told him that she was mad at him for texting some girl that he knew, so in return she had made up a story about her and my husband to make him jealous. She told him that is why she had told him that she didn't want him to say anything. Now he said that she is wanting to apologize, but she couldn't work up the courage. And honestly, I don't know if I even care to hear an apology. That childish c**p almost split up my marriage. So, I guess what I am asking is, do I accept her apology for this? If I did, what if this happened again? I don't know what to do. If her and my brother stay married then it is going to make some family situations very uncomfortable. I just don't know what I should do. Any advice?

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  1. Well I would probably accept her apologie for your brother's sake but that doesn't mean that everything has to go back the way that it was.  I wouldn't trust her with anything every again and basically she just screwed herself up with your family because no matter what they are your family forever and maybe she won't be around forever so look at it that way because you do have the upper hand here since they are "your" family!!!


  2. My advive would be to just get over it and move on. If she apologizes great but if she doesn't whatever! Let it all go and realize that it was a game between immature people and not something you need to go through again so next time just don't even associate yourself with these games and believe all this c**p because their just trying to get everyone all riled up and it is silly. I would be upset and it will be uncomfortable but at least its over. Just move on and live your life with your husband. No more fighting, why do you fight? Communicate with each other instead of yelling, youll be better off! Take care!

  3. OH ya honey I have some advice. Listen carefully...Are you listening. Do not except her apology!!!!!!!  She is a TROUBLE MAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Stay as far away as possible. Please, she was willing to s***w with your marriage for god sakes. Come on. Except her apology???? Shes lucky she didn't get her as- kicked. This lady needs to GROW UP!!! I would tell my brother not to bring her around anymore. Listen, some things you can forgive and let go. This isn't a minor matter here. She almost broke up your marriage???? Thats not funny at all. No don't except anything from her. Tell her not to bother with you guys again!! I feel sorry for your brother. This isn't a marriage thats going to last. Trust me!!!!!    DON'T BOTHER WITH THE TROUBLE MAKER ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. For you to ever be happy you need to forgive. It does not mean to forget Proceed with cation. but remember this is your brother and you should always try to keep close with him.  I feel family is extremely important. I understand this is your sister in law be pleasant and cheerful and avoid her when possible.good luck

    On your comments Katheryn F said it the best.

  5. let him apologize. then explain what you feel and it really put a strain on your relationship as brother aand sister

  6. Sorry I wouldn't talk to that woman for a while. She sounds really immature and clearly doesn't care about your feelings if she could make up a terrible story like that already Knowing you have trust issues. That isn't someone you want to be around. Forgive but never forget!

  7. I wouldn't not in a million years. I understand about the whole family issues. you can be polite to somebody but not be friends with them. easy as that. if you have a family gathering or something just be nice but do not go out of your way to be her friend. your marriage is more important and there is no need for childish games.

  8. well if her and bro work it out doesn't mean you have to hang out together.  at family functions ive been around people i necessarily didn't like, you just go around them. you dont have to sit by them or chat etc, and you dont have to be rude.

    i could be polite, but i wouldnt forgive that. how dare her, period.  she pulled that c**p now she has to live with it.

  9. Be the bigger person in this situation. I know, I know she was being a b**** by trying to split up your marraige but think about your brother and future family functions.  She doesn't deserve your forgiveness for making you feel like an a** with your husband.

    I can't stand one of my husband's sister's because the harder we worked for a better life the worse she would talk about/treat us. As she got older (I mean in her 30's) she felt very remorseful for the way she had treated us (including ONLY inviting my husband to her wedding) so she wanted to apologize and for me it was over but for my husband I accepted it (mostly for his elderly mother). Don't get me wrong, last Christmas all I wanted to do was kick her a** but I put on the happy face and got thru it. I'm sure you will too. If you and your husband are fine then maybe turning the other cheek may work.


  10. yes except he apology but don't say that much to her you suppose to alway forgive your enemies

  11. What a mess she created. It was selfish, immature, and held no regard for your marriage. Since this woman is married to your brother, your going to have to see her, and it would be hard, but I would try to accept the apology...BUT I would let her know exactly what damage she caused by this, how it hurt the entire family (your mother in law, too) and how childish she acted. I would also make sure that she knows that you will not accept any apology if this ever happens again. Hanging out with her would probably not happen, either, if this was my problem. She used your husband to play out an extremely immature revenge plot. You cannot trust her again.

  12. take her apology, but proceed with caution. To me, she seems a bit to immature to be married in the first place!

  13. This is just too much drama for someone to have a peaceful life.

    I would say that if I can't trust someone and I have family telling me things, and things were rocky to begin with, I would take some time to myself and think through what's real or not, and make a decision on what I would be willing to put up with and what crosses the line. For me, personally, discussing personal problems with the wife of another would be off limits. Married issues stay between the two who are married, not relatives and friends or spouses of someone else. I would also distance myself from "hanging out" with some people and limit it to family occasions.

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