Sorry if this is a bit long--
I broke up with my boyfriend Liam a few days ago, and my family is really upset about it. Because he's the pastor's son at my family's church they assume he's a 'nice boy', and were really hoping that we'd stayed together. I'd confided Liam that about me being a bisexual before we began a relationship. He was cool with it so long as we were in a monogamous relationship and I didn't 'dress like a d**e'. As time wore on he grew distant: I started hanging out with the LGBT kids at school and he spent his weekends doing Youth Group activities. I guess we moved in different circles.
Things came to a head three days ago when he accused me of cheating on him with my friend Isabelle. She's a L*****n and a little bit flirty sometimes, but she flirts with just about everyone. She's one of those outgoing types. I got really angry, started crying and said some horrible things to him. I was really offended because I'd never even *considered* cheating on him. He called me a s**t, and said that the only reason I have friends is because I'm young and easy. I don't know where the 'young' comment came from, seeing as he's only four years older than me.
We fought for about an hour, and then he tried to have s*x with me. I pushed him away and let him know that we were through. I couldn't handle the stress of being in a relationship with a stranger anymore; because that was what he had become.
After this we avoided each other like the plague. I had a 'g**s night in' with my friends at Isabelle's house, and we at chocolate ice-cream and watched horror movies. I cried a lot, and they listened to me. They said they thought Liam was too controlling and mean; but I know they were saying that for my sake, because they liked him well enough before we broke up. People started leaving at around nine o'clock, and eventually it was just me and Isabelle left in the lounge room. We were cuddled up under a blanket and she had her arm around my waist. I was so concious of that, because it felt like her arm was burning. She told me to forget about Liam, tucked some stray hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. I think I completely misinterpreted the situation, because after that I kissed her full on the mouth. Isabelle let me kiss her for I-don't-even-know-how-long before pulling away. She told me that my emotions were all mixed up, and to go home. I have no idea why, but I whispered 'please' and all of a sudden she was making-out with me. We didn't do much more than that, but things got really hot and heavy.
I went home later that night. My parents didn't notice how late I got back because they've spent all weekend at chuch organising a fundraiser. Liam's been trying to call me on my mobile phone. I didn't answer, but I checked my sms's and he says that he wants to talk. Isabelle hasn't rung me, and I've made no attempts to contact her. Though I guess it's only been a day since we last saw each other... but whenever the phone rings I always hope it's her. I don't even know what's up with that.
I feel so guilty. I broke up with Liam because I was so upset with him not trusting me, and calling me a s**t, and then I had to go and act like one. I hooked up with the person that he accused me of cheating on him with. I'm so confused and feel so guilty. I really, really like Isabelle - but what if I just used her to get back at Liam? How am I supposed to act around her now? I don't even know if I'm ready for another relationship. Do you think that she'll even want to be with me, or was it just a pity kiss?
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