How am I supposed to act around her? Should I even mention that we kissed?

Question

Sorry if this is a bit long. If you don't want to read all of it, just skip to the bottom paragraph.

I broke up with my boyfriend Liam a few days ago, and my family is really upset about it. Because he's the pastor's son at my family's church they assume he's a 'nice boy', and were really hoping that we'd stayed together. I'd confided Liam that about me being a bisexual before we began a relationship. He was cool with it so long as we were in a monogamous relationship and I didn't 'dress like a d**e'. As time wore on he grew distant: I started hanging out with the LGBT kids at school and he spent his weekends doing Youth Group activities. I guess we moved in different circles.

Things came to a head three days ago when he accused me of cheating on him with my friend Isabelle. She's a L*****n and a little bit flirty sometimes, but she flirts with just about everyone. She's one of those outgoing types. I got really angry, started crying and said some horrible things to him. I was really offended because I'd never even *considered* cheating on him. He called me a s**t, and said that the only reason I have friends is because I'm young and easy. I don't know where the 'young' comment came from, seeing as he's only four years older than me.

We fought for about an hour, and then he tried to have s*x with me. I pushed him away and let him know that we were through. I couldn't handle the stress of being in a relationship with a stranger anymore; because that was what he had become.

After this we avoided each other like the plague. I had a 'g**s night in' with my friends at Isabelle's house, and we at chocolate ice-cream and watched horror movies. I cried a lot, and they listened to me. They said they thought Liam was too controlling and mean; but I know they were saying that for my sake, because they liked him well enough before we broke up. People started leaving at around nine o'clock, and eventually it was just me and Isabelle left in the lounge room. We were cuddled up under a blanket and she had her arm around my waist. I was so concious of that, because it felt like her arm was burning. She told me to forget about Liam, tucked some stray hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. I think I completely misinterpreted the situation, because after that I kissed her full on the mouth. Isabelle let me kiss her for I-don't-even-know-how-long before pulling away. She told me that my emotions were all mixed up, and to go home. I have no idea why, but I whispered 'please' and all of a sudden she was making-out with me. We didn't do much more than that, but things got really hot and heavy.

I went home later that night. My parents didn't notice how late I got back because they've spent all weekend at chuch organising a fundraiser. Liam's been trying to call me on my mobile phone. I didn't answer, but I checked my sms's and he says that he wants to talk. Isabelle hasn't rung me, and I've made no attempts to contact her. Though I guess it's only been a day since we last saw each other... but whenever the phone rings I always hope it's her. I don't even know what's up with that.

I feel so guilty. I broke up with Liam because I was so upset with him not trusting me, and calling me a s**t, and then I had to go and act like one. I hooked up with the person that he accused me of cheating on him with. I'm so confused and feel so guilty. I really, really like Isabelle - but what if I just used her to get back at Liam? How am I supposed to act around her now? I don't even know if I'm ready for another relationship. Do you think that she'll even want to be with me, or was it just a pity kiss?

Answer 1

first off. you have nothing to feel guilty about. you didn't cheat on him when he accused you to have done so and that's the important thing with the Liam here.... as off for Isabelle, i get the feeling that she might have feelings for you, cuz if she didn't care she wouldn't have told you that your emotions are mixed and she would have taken advantage of you from the first.. she was being a good friend (maybe with more feelings for you than a friend has) and one thing led to another.. maybe she's not contacting you cuz she doesn't know what to say after that night.. you were apparently feeling bad about your bf and she might think that what happened between you two meant nothing to do..

i think you shouldn't try to fix anything with Liam.. he is obviously controlling and wants things his way... plus if you were drifting away nywayz then you can't keep something that doesn't exist anymore.. and about this friend.. talk to her! if you have feelings for her, or you're starting to have feelings for her if you're wishing she's at the end of the line everytime the phone rings.. i think you're feeling something for her.. talk to her.. and tell her what that night meant to you.. and see where you two can go with that. ! good luck

Answer 2

Sounds to me like Liam cheated on you first and feels guilty and tried to blame it on you (i have seen it happen) that or some other chick spread a rumor about you to try and break you up

You have NOTHING to feel guity about you have done nothing wrong

My best advice would be to just be friends with Isabelle for acouple of months so you get over the break up and after that if you still feel the same feelings for Isabelle go for it  

Answer 3

bla bla bla boo hoo

Answer 4

Wow. You have a lot on your plate. Regarding the Isabelle kiss, just say something like this to her 'I was feeling very vulnerable last night, and I hope I didn't cross the line when I kissed you'. Likely, she'll tell you everything is fine and that she understands and she got caught up in the moment.

As for Liam, you were already broken up with him so you didn't cheat. It's no longer any of his business what you do and with whom, so don't worry about mentioning it to him.

Back off of the Isabelle thing for now. You need a clearer perspective before you can even consider where you're going from here. Your emotions are too raw, and it would be too easy to enter a rebound relationship. Give it a couple weeks. Talk to Isabelle about what happened and see what she has to say. It doesn't have to be uncomfortable, just be upfront and try to relax, you haven't done anything wrong, but it's easy to fall into doing something wrong when you're as upset as you are right now.

Good luck

Answer 5

That was a lot to take in! haha! well, let me contour up a big answer:

well to start off, you are not a s**t! All you did was accidentally run into another interaction. No biggy. Dont sweat that small stuff. All guys are sometimes, pushy or aggressive when it comes to losing some1. Calling you a s**t could have been harsh, but then again it might have been defense. If he shows any care for you in the next day er two, then he probably wants to say sorry, but feels you wouldn't accept his apology.

On teh other hand, Isabelle with her flirty personality might be a little tough to figure her out. What i would do is somehow get them together to hang with you. This is where nature takes its course. If he's nice and Isabelle likes you back, she will turn the flirt on more and more each time she seems threatened by Liam's attempts. If not and they both are still in a rut, i would just walk it out, pretend nothing happened, just roll with it. It all is in womanly instinct now. Its ytour decision. im not going to help you choose. Good luck

Answer 6

i think you just needed a shoulder to cry on am sure she'll understand as for you're ex don't mention it to him or anyone else

and you didn't cheat technically you were broken up

hope this helps