How am i expected to react?

Question

when my parents tell me that my twin miscarried and im the one that survived. i know it happens all the time but i dont know how i, as the surviving one, am meant to react or process this information. in the past its made me feel terribly guilty because i feel like i havent done enough with my life. and i dont know what i should feel about it.

Answer 1

ask them why they keep on about it?  say it had nothing to do with you in the womb, you cannot feel a  loss or feel anything.  You carry one being a  balanced individual that you are and have a happy life.

Answer 2

i am sorry for your situation and i feel that it would be a good idea for you to go to counselling sessions about this. you shouldn't feel guilty and i am sure you are doing plenty enough with your life and your twin is looking down feeling very proud of you

Answer 3

well if they went through there whole life never telling u had a twin that died u might get upset

think of it this way lets say years from now u get pregnant and you have twins and one dies would u tell your daughter what happen when she was older?

Answer 4

Don't feel guilty. It wasn't your fault. Although I am sure you feel part of you in missing because of your twin, just don't let that eat you up inside.

Answer 5

who cares about how u are expected to react.  sometimes it can make u more determined to do better in life.  or u can just wallow in self pity.  idk.  

Answer 6

Really?  It is nothing to do with you - it has no impact on YOUR life.

It is very sad that your parents lost one of their babies, but honestly, unless you actually feel that loss in your own heart, you shouldn't feel that you OUGHT to be feeling anything.

Take it as a good omen, you are a fortunate individual, live your life how you want to and be happy with yourself.

Answer 7

Well. depending on how old you were when your parents told you, they would have to be very careful in explaining the circumstances. In any case there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about something you had nothing to do with and are not responsible for - nobody is, it's an accident of nature. So just take it as information, not particularly useful and I don't think you have to feel anything about it other may be wonder why your parents told you.

Answer 8

there is no right way for you to feel about this., buh i wouldnt feel guilty. live your life and do what makes you happy. evry1 has a right to happiness =]

Answer 9

You are not expected to react. They were getting it off thier chest. Your parents were wondering themselves how you would react - hoping for the best.

As for feeling guilty about not achieving enough - many of us feel that way. Realise it is never too late to set a new path for yourself! If you do not set out to achieve more and get the wheels in motion, those feelings will only multiple year after year.

Use the tool right infront of you, right now (the internet) and research your dreams and what it will take to get them moving.

Get the wheels rolling!

Answer 10

Don't feel bad about it. If you feel like you haven't done enough with your life, then now is the perfect time to change that. Just go for it. Do what you feel is right, if you feel you have to honour her memory then live your life to the full.