How am i going to breastfeed with the whole family over?

Question

Today the whole family is coming over to our house to celebrate the birth of our first child, Isabella. I have 3 sisters and they have 9 kids in total then theres my hubbys family her has 2 brothers and they have 4 kids in total, so there will be 13 kids in our house which isnt a problem because it isnt a small house and we have activites for them outside.

But i am worrying because Isabella (Ella) is only 9 days old and needs to be breastfed, i havnt expressed and dont plan on doing so, but i am running out of time and i was woundering what i should do, is ot rude to walk out and go upstairs to feed her - i would much rather to sit upstairs than the whole family and friends watch me and Ella also finds it hard to latch on.

What should i do?

Thanks

Answer 1

just asked to be excused i am sure they won't mind and as some aready have children they will understand... so be polite say i am sorry may i just be excused and go and sit in a quiet room upstairs...

good luck.. trust me they will understand...

=]

Answer 2

I kinda had the same situation a couple of weeks ago, there's nothing wrong or rude to brestfeed your baby in privacy, take her to your room and do what you need to do, I'm sure your family will understand.

Answer 3

Go upstairs, just tell your family Ella needs feeding, I`ll be back down just as soon as she`s finished, we won`t be long. They`ll understand that, it`s not like the don`t have their own kids.

Answer 4

It's definitely not rude to leave the room. If you & Ella are more comfortable quietly breast feeding elsewhere in the house, then that's how it is.

When it's her feed time, tell them (don't ask!) that you are taking Ella for a feed and you'll be back shortly. Saying it that way it tells them that you're going alone and it isn't an option for you to be talked out of feeding her anywhere else or with anyone there either.

Answer 5

It's not rude. It's your house and you have a newborn baby who needs feeding. If you feel more comfortable wanting to leave the room to feed her, then do so.

Well done for breastfeeding!

Answer 6

Try nursing in front of a mirror or your partner who can tell you how much you can "see" while you're nursing. You'd be surprised at how little you can actually see - BUT you both are "new" (and she's so little) at this so you might be showing a little more than usual.  

Try using a blanket or if you must, remove yourself to another room.  I felt hesitant also to nurse in front of family, but did well with a blanket covering me and the baby.  Once she was latched I could take the blanket away if I wanted to.  I felt so isolated having to leave the room.  And many members, looked away or down for fear of seeing something.  Lol  Even with a blanket!  Do what you're comfortable with and what helps your baby.  You have everyone here's support and I'm sure your family will be willing to leave the room if you feel better about that.

Answer 7

No it isn't rude at all. you could also find a light shawl and wrap around you and ella and nobody would see anything. dont worry though. everyone will understand. good luck

Answer 8

I know that its easier said than done, especially when you and your little one are still getting into the swing of b/feeding, but maybe drape a blanket/muslin square over your shoulder so your kind of covered up. If not, im sure your family will understand if you want to go upstairs as you have a new baby. Your little one will soon be latching on easily, the first couple of weeks are pretty hard going, but well worth all the hard work.  

Answer 9

Number one the family should realize that you should not have that many quest at once after just having a baby .  The mother needs to bond with the baby and with that many people and children there is alot of germs running around.  It is to soon for that many quest at once.  Mother needs her rest as well as baby.  Everyone will want to hold the baby which is not a good idea.  Get some anti bacteria hand soap and make sure everyone uses it and set times for baby to be viewed or you will pay for it when all the guest leave and your exhausted and baby doesn't understand she should sleep.  A family reunion is not a good idea that soon after delivery

Answer 10

Go somewhere quiet on your own with Ella and feed her in peace and quiet

xx

Answer 11

Just excuse yourself and go to another room. Most reasonable people will understand and with 13 kids in the house it doesn't sound like your absence will cause a major lull or anything.

Answer 12

I was faced with this problem as I felt that breastfeeding was a very private thing.  In the end I used to disappear into the bedroom and breast feed my son, regardless who was over.  I don't know whether people thought I was rude or not but my main concern was for the welfare of my son, and to ensure he had a good feed.  I think my family understood and in the end they used to offer me their bedrooms when I went round to their houses.  As your family have all had children, I would think they would totally understand if you have to disappear for a bit to feed.  There will be enough going on by the sounds of things to keep them occupied.  I really wouldn't worry.  Just deal with making sure your new daughter is fed well.  Congratulations!!  

Answer 13

oh i remember those days in the beginning. i went through exactly the same as you. my baby was finding it so hard to latch on and all i wanted to do was be on my own so i could try and breastfeed him, i remember feeling embarrassed about him not feeding properly too and didn't want to have to tell any of my family.

when my family was round i just went upstairs to his nursery, everyone understands so don't worry, i'm sure the men will feel more at ease too if you don't breastfeed in front of them. however unfortunately i couldn't stop my aunts, etc coming upstairs "to keep me company" while i nursed.

i also remember being so depressed trying to brestfeed upstairs while everyone drank champagne downstairs.

if you can maybe tell your mum or sister to try and stop people from following you upstairs or say you are going to try and put her down for a nap, as horrible as it sounds they probably won't notice how long you've been gone, my family were more interested in the champagne that was on offer than seeing me and the baby! Good luck and all this overwhelming bit will be over soon just try not to get too down about it like i did :)

Answer 14

Two options, go into another room or just feed in front of everyone and hope and pray no one sticks the vid on Youtube

Answer 15

You either take her upstairs and feed her (why would it be rude?? The baby has to be fed) or discreetly do it downstairs by putting the baby under your shirt or wrapping something around you. You don't have to whip your entire boob out!

Answer 16

my baby had latch on problems and our room is right off of the living room in our busy house without a bedroom door, so we had trouble on staying private too... a lot of the time i just lock myself into the bathroom or someone elses bedroom to breastfeed... and dont worry, people understand that the baby needs to eat, and breastfeeding is completely natural, so im sure they wont mind you leaving for even a half hour for you to nurse... hope all goes well

Answer 17

Lady Carole is completely right tell them you must breast feed and just go into the other room.They will think your a good mother which it sounds like you are.  

Answer 18

Ohh, and nine days is usually a day when they cluster feed.  Well, just do it anyway.  It is a natural and beautiful thing.  I am learning to breastfeed in public and in front of family, but with some discretion.  Being that your new at this and she is young, you may want to go in another room but I get the feeling your baby like mine in the beginnnig, is nursing all the time.   Remember this is your time to establish a good nursing relationship w/your baby so you need all the time to nurse.  You can have your husband you get one of those nursing shawls and put that around you.   They are actually lightwt and full of color so noone can see.  Congrats and good luck breast feeding.  Remember babies sense tension, so if she's not latching in front of family and you are tense, that is why.

Answer 19

If i ever felt uncomfortable feeding in front of people i would leave the room and feed in my bedroom or bubs room, its ur house and if bubs hungry its hungry, no its not rude to leave the room and feed!!

Answer 20

Just leave the room and go somewhere quiet to feed her, it will be better for both of you.

I am sure everyone will be able to entertain themselves while you go off for a while.

Answer 21

Just politely excuse yourself to go upstairs to feed her. Your family won't see it as rude or anything. If you are uncomfortable feeding in front of the family, then there is no problem with that at all. I doubt the whole family would be watching you the whole time if you decided to feed while in their company, but breastfeeding does take a time to get used to anyway, and doing so in public can also take time to master and feel comfortable with.

Once you get more used to it and get better, then you will probably find you would be able to feed her without it being that obvious, but until then there is nothing wrong with excusing yourself to feed.

Answer 22

Just do what you feel comfortable doing, if you wish to feed your baby upstairs out of the way then do so. Your family should understand, you dont want to be breastfeeding amongst 13 noisy children anyway, it may distract or upset your baby. Good luck x

Answer 23

Just tell the family that Ella needs to be fed, then take yourselves off upstairs while you feed her, i'm sure they'll understand... they may even feel a bit uncomfortable if you fed her in front of them.

Maj

Answer 24

Dont feel bad going upstairs! They will understand! I used to go to the bedroom to feed my daughter when family was round when she was first born, but after a couple of weeks when she could latch easily I just fed in front of everyone, and no one minded :)

Be a proud breastfeeding mummy, and do whatever is best for you and your beautiful baby :)

Answer 25

Tell them you are going to go upstairs and feed her and you wil be right back. they can talk to your hubby for a little bit. or cover up with a recieving blanket.