How am i supposed to live on my own?

Question

Ive lived with my mom my whole live and shes always done everything for me, and now that i live by myself im scared to leave the house, make phone calls, or do normal things other people do..i feel so weak and scared..i cant even sleep at night. I have trouble even talking to other people because shes always talked for me. Anyone have tips?

Answer 1

Get professional help. Seriously this is a bad spot for you to get advice on some thing that so greatly affects your life. But this a good spot to test the water so to speak. Perhaps if you left your problem out of it for now.

Answer 2

It sounds as though your Mum was someone who needed to be needed. Good on you to have actually moved out! Her constant care would have set you up with a false belief that you could not achieve anything for yourself, like a show from her, (although she wouldn't have realised it), that you couldn't cope with life, as though she had no confidence in you.

Individuation is a very important thing in the life of all teenagers, and this is why a little rebellion is actually okay. It is a time when you make up your own mind about life, what you believe and make mistakes to learn what life is all about. It sounds as though you never got to do that.

Learn to do things for yourself, and tell yourself that it is okay to believe in yourself. You'll make mistakes, but you will learn from each one. And  you'll become a better person for it. It isn't fatal to fail at things now and again, it builds character.

Phones can be scary, but making  quick phone calls often will build your confidence. Know what it is you are calling about and stick to it, even if you have to write it down before you do, so the nerves don't get to you.

When others talk, again it takes practice, but if they talked to you, they want to hear from you, so take confidence in that. Think of some stock standard replies and study them so they are there in your memory and you don't have to think on your feet.

All the best with your future, you seem to have quite a road ahead of you.

Mel

Answer 3

Your attitude will help you make it - or it'll break you.  If you consider this phase of your life a journey, full of many opportunities to do things you've never done before and to feel accomplishment like you've never felt before, each success will give you the momentum necessary to continue challenging yourself - facing each next step with courage and confidence along this journey called life.  You may as well enjoy it - it's the only one you'll get.

Answer 4

Take it slowly, once at a time.. build up the confidence.. Jus be extra cautious now..maybe if u are not ready u shld continue to stay with your mom if there is a choice here.  

Answer 5

Give it some time. This is quite normal what you are experiencing. Living on your own for the first time is one of the bigest adjustments that people go through. You will love it in a little while I promise!

God Bless....