How and what are the best ways to communicate in an argument?

Question

I've been dating my boyfriend for about six months. I really think the world of him but sometimes we butt heads. I end up leaving an argument feeling low and helpless. I really want to give our relationship the effort it deserves but when we argue it gets really hard. We yell and end up sawing hurtful things and I hate it. What role can I be to make our arguments more constructive?

Answer 1

Keep quite, don't say anything.

Answer 2

Calm down and talk...don't scream or let things get out of hand bc then you both end up saying things that you don't mean...this ruins relationships!  

When either of you begin to get loud or let your emotions get in the way of the topic at hand you need to remind one another that screaming and yelling solves nothing and that you need to TALK to one another.  You each need to let it all out, say everything that is bothering you, don't hold it in...it only makes it worse, talk about your feelings openly!  Never leave before the discussion is finished-- always settle things or you never will and they build up!

Answer 3

Less yelling and throwing insults. More listening and hearing each other out. Using calm voices considering each others feelings. Think about the others point of view and not just your own. There is a nice way to say even the most harsh constructive critism. Just treat them the way you would want to be treated and that is with respect. Remember you both are adults so treat the situation in a mature manner. It's not an argument it is a disagreement. If you treat it that way it can strengthen your bond. It helps you to learn more about your partner and what makes them tick.

Answer 4

You can start by not saying hurtful things, even if he hits you with a few low blows. You can also help by ending the argument and moving on from it. Don't drag something out over a couple days, or even hours. Say what you've got to say, listen to what he has to say. Agree, or agree to disagree...and drop it.

My wife couldn't stand how I would be upset about something, and let her know how I felt about it. When we reached and agreement in the heat of battle, I would say thanks...and grab her butt as a way of saying, "every thing's cool now".

Answer 5

well first of all, it'll be better that u just don't have them at all, but of course that's impossible, so since thats the case, the best thing to do is when the arguments arises, tell him nicely, say "Honey i love you, and i really do not want to argue w/u tonight at all, can we speak about this later, when cooler heads prevail", then walk away from the argument, sometimes all it takes is u being the bigger person in that situation, ,to make what could've been a brutal argument, a very peaceful night!Try it and see, GL!

Answer 6

Number one rule:  Never go to bed angry.  Secondly, the key to arguments, believe it or not, is respect.   Let him have his say, and don't interrupt, and he should give you the same courtesy.  Most of the time you're going to end up just agreeing to disagree.  An argument can end the fastest by just telling the other person you respect their opinion about the matter and yours just differs.  And lastly, never EVER say anything in the heat of the moment that you know you're never going to be able to take back.  Some of the most hurtful things that people say when they are mad can never be forgotten after a million "I'm sorry's".  You both need to agree that you'll have those arguments, but also agree that if it starts to get ugly, stop, separate, and pick up the conversation (not arguing) when you both have calmed down some.  Again, you'll just end up agreeing to disagree.  

Answer 7

I have a good tip.  Make sure you don't attack him, the person, when you fight, discuss the actions or what happened that hurt you.  Don't say " I hate when you blah blah", tell him "it hurts me when you do.....".  By putting it on yourself you are relaying that his actions hurt you and he does not want to do that if he loves you.  Try not to call names and be hurtful, it can be hard, but you still love him regardless if you fight or not.