How and when did you break it that you were pregnant to the dad?

Question

I may be pregnant, I will have to take a test and see. My boyfriend of over three years will be so upset if I am pregnant. I am on the pill, but I am worried it didn't work and I haven't got my period. But anyways, should you tell him asap or wait till your at like 8 weeks when you know you haven't miscarried? And how should you tell him? Obviously in person, but should you be like "Surprise! We're having a baby" or in a more serious tone and tell him less exciting? We totally did not plan this and want to wait til were married. He is just worried about being a bad father. I had an abortion a year ago and I told him I would never do one again. But that was a long ride of emotions when that happened. I am 21 and he is 28. He works full time and I attend school and work part time, but we live apart... until marriage. He told me he wouldn't leave me like some guys do, he would just be upset that he wouldn't be a good father without financial security.

Answer 1

First off, you can miscarry though-out the entire pregnancy but its most likely to happen within the first 12-13 weeks. I do not think you should wait to tell him. He is the father, he has the right to know right away. Tell him seriously but yet relaxed. Tell him to relax. My fiancee and I are expecting and let me tell you, we are far from bein finacially set. But we know we will do just fine. If you were waiting to move in with each other until marriage then you should have waited on the s*x part too hun. You cant have your cake and eat it too. Best of luck.  

Answer 2

Test with them present, so they don't take your word for it. First time he would have went to jail for statitory rape. ME 17 HIM 23 so he paid and pursuaded me to abort for his sake, 2ond guy who cares he's gone it's me and baby

Good LUck and like nike says,'JUST DO IT" lol

Answer 3

I would just be straight forward.  Mention first that you're late....and try to read his reaction before going to the next step.  If he's ok with it, offer to take the test with him there...if not, maybe it would be better if you did it alone.  If you've been together for over three years already I don't see how he could be angry....he was equally responsible.  He just needs to realize that not everything goes the way we plan and sometimes we need to adjust to new things.  You two aren't the first to have a little "surprise" thrown in the mix and you certainly won't be the last.  

Answer 4

i took the test the day of my missed period and he was getting ready for work and he came in the bathroom to brush his teeth and i looked at him and said baby...we're going to have a baby!!! we had been trying for a little while.. we both were so excited and now we have a beautiful 5.5 week old daughter

Answer 5

Oh sweetie, we had the same issue. Although he told me I was pregnant and I took a test to prove him wrong - well when the test came up positive, I came running down the stairs crying because I just didn't know WHAT to do! We initially decided we couldn't do it - we weren't married (we're engaged now, funnily enough), we had bills coming out of our ears and we hadn't really decided what we were going to do in life. He works full time and I was at uni full time.

After having nothing else on our minds for the day, he left it up to me to decide. Well, I thought that we're always going to have bills and uni will be there when I'm ready to go back. There was no REAL reason not to have our baby. We'll have to put our professional dreams on hold for the time being but because we're young (I was 23 and he was 27) we can pick up where we left off a bit later.

He's really excited now, as am I. We thought we were seriously poor before but after some sacrifices and crafty account work (and a little help from our folks!), we are able to afford to have our baby.

You can do it.  

Answer 6

I would just tell him, It took the both of you to get this way.

Answer 7

You shouldn't wait too long to tell him. And seriously, if he wanted to wait until after you two got married to have kids... maybe he shouldn't have been having s*x with you until then either, since it's always a risk.

Are you friends with any couples who have kids? If you are, maybe one of the dads could have a talk with him after you've broken the news to help ease his mind a little. The financial aspect is a bit scary for all guys, but he has a job, he's making money. He's doing better than most men with kids nowadays. Even on the slimmest of budgets, people make it work. I think if there were another guy who could reassure him that maybe he'd feel a little better. Good luck, hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Answer 8

I would tell him as soon as you have a test and it's positive.  He has a right to know...and if you do have a miscarriage he should be aware of what's going on so that he can be there to support you emotionally if you need it.

Well I was a little different than you because we were trying to have a baby.  But I had had false alarms before..and it was upsetting to my husband when we thought we were pregnant and weren't.

To avoid any unneeded worry and emotions...I took 2 home tests first which were positive.   (By this time I was 6-1/2 weeks along but had no idea.)   I also took a blood test that day and it took two days to get the results back.   Two days of keeping this huge secret nearly killed me.

I went shopping and bought some baby stuff...I told him I had an early birthday present for him.... put it in a birthday bag along with an animal book called "The Greatest Daddy" and a card that said "We're having a Baby!".   He was shocked. LOL

I realize this might not be the best route for you since you don't know how he'll react. But maybe if you try and be happy about it... he will react better.    Your are both old enough to be responsible parents... and even if your man is not supportive of your decision to keep the baby... you can be the strong one and find support in other people..like your mom, friends, other mothers to be, etc.

Being pregnant is not nearly has bad as I thought it would be..and all of my hesitations are disappearing now that I can hear a heartbeat, and feel the little feet kicking.   It's normal to have lots of fears...but remember you aren't alone and babies are very forgiving even if you don't know what you're doing.  After the shock of finding out I was pregnant went away..I've found a very strange calmness about the whole thing.  Good luck to you! : )

Answer 9

I told my husband (boyfriend at the time) as soon as i pulled up my pants from peeing on the pregnancy test that had two bold lines that showed up right away......I went running in the kitchen where he was and said LOOK!!! We were both in shock even though we had been trying to get pregnant.

You can have a miscarriage when you are 20 weeks, 8 weeks is not the cutoff for something to happen but you can't worry about "what if's"

I would tell him now because you are both grown.

You act scared like you are 16 years old telling your mom your pregnant or might be.

He is nearly 30 years old. If he cannot handle a kid now, he never will be able too and another thing people that do not have alot of money are wonderful parents.

He took a chance of getting you pregnant everytime you had s*x without a condom so if you are then both of you are going to have to deal with it.

Answer 10

just tell him.