How are parents in comparison to parents back in the day?

Question

I'm 20 ok. I hear all the time about kids these days and people our age are bad.

Rather or not you agree or disagree may throw a curve in this but i believe that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Unless the tree is mounted ontop of a mountain thus causing gravity to pull the apple closer towards the middle of the earth.

But back to the basics, how are parents now-a-days different then back in the days?

Answer 1

Parents these days can't tell their kids no, they never discpline them, and their kids can't be told they wrong by anyone even in school.

Kids today are out of control.

I see kids throw fits in public, I see kids blantley disrepect their parents if they tell to them to do something ths kid just goes "no!", the parents then says "Then we're going home do it!", the kid ignores the parent, the parent dosen't go home... kids get away with WAY too much.

If I even tried half the stuff I see kids doing I would have been packed up and brought home, or smacked.

Answer 2

honestly, i think it depends on the culture you grew up in, etc. But in my opinion, i think most people turn into their parents. They may be a little more lenient these days in comparison to 30 to 40 years ago, but not by much.  I think s*x has always been around and so have drugs, but just more 'silent' back in the day as opposed to the norm.  People are more outspoken these days but thats about it.  You are right the apple doesn't far from the tree.

Answer 3

I think parents today are so busy. There are more families with two working parents who are both tired. I think parents today give in to their kids demands more because they don't have the patience or energy to say no and the effort to stick to their word.

Many people will say not enough parents today spank...that's actually not true. If you do some research you will find that over 90% of todays parents spank. The problem is not enough parents do much else besides spank. They spank and yell and don't actually parent or discipline properly. It's easier to give in and give in until you have a holy terror and then resprt to spanking to try to fix the problem they themselves created. They need to put in more effort and be creative and take the time it takes to have a good parenting style from the start.

I think more parents need to start discipline (teaching) at a young age and be more consistent. People need to slow down and smell the roses. Enjoy their children. It seems parents today have become so robotic where raising their children is like a chore in their day. Parents need to spend more time with their kids, eat dinner together as a family and have better communication.

Parents use video games and TV as babysitters when they should be outside with their kids enjoying the nice weather.

Answer 4

This is a really good question. It could be that our expectations are completely out of whack because with time, you kind of expect parenting like other things to improve. It seems only natural. You learn from the mistakes of the past and try to correct them. We have to some degree but it seems like we are overcorrecting mistakes in the past to the point where many parents are more interested in being friends or pals with their kids instead of responsible adults that care about their future and want to teach them skills they need to survive one day on their own. We seem to be living too in the moment without an eye for the future and what it holds.  Just my feeling based on what I personally see.

edit: Spanking has nothing to do with it. My kids are spanked and it's stupid because their mother is neglectful. Her rules are not consistent. She gives in. She created the monsters they have become. Monsters is way too harsh but my SD can behave like one when she hears the word no. I want to almost (never would) strangle the ex for creating this. You are the parent. Be like one. Act like you really care. Think about what you are doing. Be responsible. Don't drink to excess. Pick your battles but she doesn't. She chooses no battles. She's like a hippie. Peace. Happy. 24/7. Yeah right. Life doesn't work that way. Her kids as a result have 0 coping skills for when things don't go exactly their way. It's impossible because they are different. It's just not possible that life will be perfect for them both 24/7. It's physically impossible.

This is one incident but doesn't seem that uncommon which is really scarey. Parents today (some) are neglectful. They don't pay attention to their kids. They have no idea what is going on. They blame their kids for their behaviors and attitudes. Parents don't take enough responsibility for the decisions they make.

edit: We have one example where someone here is saying it is the kids. It is not the kids. It cannot be the kids. They are not adults. It is totally parents' fault to a very large degree. Think about what you are doing as parents. Think about the lessons you are teaching by the action you choose to take.

Answer 5

you know this is a good question . i am 34 with my first child . i would have to say the they treated children when there were sick or teething . (aka- rub liquor on the gums when teething - no thanks by the way) . and i also think they were outside working at a very early age earning a little money , and today the kids have pretty much everything handed to them while playing video games .  granted i like some of the home remedies , they actually do work , and my son will know the value of the $$ . it's kinda intersting how things have changed . :D

Answer 6

Well, let's see... I was spanked.

I had chores, a LOT of chores.

I called Mrs. Jones "Mrs Jones". God help me if I called her Mary.

I only asked my father ONCE for something. No meant no.

My parents were my parents, not my friends.

I had 2 pair of jeans and a pair of sneakers. We weren't poor, more than 2 was frivolous.

We said the Pledge of Allegiance in school. We hung a flag wherever appropriate. No one told us to take it down and if they did we would've told them they were crazy.

We went to church and weren't ashamed.

Nobody gave us ritalin. If we had too much energy they threw us outside and said Run.

People who moved here learned English, so that they could get a job.

People who moved here got jobs.

Nobody passed out condoms. They said don't have s*x or you'll get pregnant. So we didn't have s*x. Pregnancy, by the way, was the worst thing that could've happened to you if you had s*x.

If you were unfortunate enough to get pregnant, good God, no one had a baby shower for you. You went and hid at your invisible aunt's house with mono. You didn't get to keep the baby and you learned what real pain and heartbreak was.

If I wanted an allowance I did extra chores.

I didn't have a TV in my room. Or a phone. Or a computer. (Well, actually nobody had a computer.) I had a bike, a swimming pool, legos, a couple of dolls and books. I was never bored.

I sat there until I finished what was on my plate. If I refused it was served up as my next meal. And the next. Until it was gone. Cold peas suck. Butter on mashed potatoes separates into two very distinct piles of oil and fat.

We had to try out for sports teams and if you weren't any good you didn't get on.

We were afraid of other parents too cause they could smack us if we had it comin'.

As a result...

I didn't grow up amid high school massacres

I dont think I was surrounded by sexual predators (I could've been, might've been lucky. Certainly it wasn't on every block.)

Type 2 diabetes was unheard of in kids.

I didn't require a cell phone to live. Nor a car. Nor a ride. If we wanted to go there we walked or took out bikes. Oh, and we could do so without fear.

We loved our birthday parties. We didn't know we were suffering because they were in the yard. There weren't goody bags and nobody got beat up over it.

I grew up playing outside unsupervised until dark. Trick-or-treating wasn't dangerous, and it was okay to eat the apples and brownies.

I was able to go to sleepovers and birthday parties without parental interviews.

I strived to do well at sports so one year I'd get picked. Eventually I accepted that I'm not good at sports. Nobody went to court over it.

There were drugs. There was danger.

I was so happy! I had a great childhood!

I am employed, loyal, resopnsible, ethical, honest, level headed and patient. We've made a mistake somewhere, and we're doing our kids more harm than good.

Answer 7

Interesting question...  

I think that if you are generally speaking then parents now are way more protective than parents who were raising children in the 70's and 80's.  I also think that this has more to do with society than the parents themselves...  Society is focused more on the negative things that can happen to children than it was in the 70's and 80's....  For example, I lived a few blocks from school and walked to and from school every day, and then walked or rode my bike there all summer long to play on the playground.  My parents didn't have a list of s*x offenders to see which houses to be leery of.  It wasn't that my parents were neglectful, they just would give the "don't talk to or take anything from strangers" and we knew which houses were "safe houses" on the way to school.  Also, there weren't postings of which waterways tested positive for E-Coli, and kids swam where there was water...  If a child misbehaved and a parent gave them a spanking and told them to knock it off, you didn't have every parent at the park glaring and calling CPS and the police, it was simply discipline and nobody frowned upon it like they do now.  I think that most of the problems with kids falls in lack of discipline and not being taught respect.  I think you are correct in saying that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but, society has changed the way a lot of "trees" grow.

By the way... I'm a mother of 3, my kids get disciplined, have chores (and do NOT get paid for doing them), have to EARN any extra gifts that are beyond our means (like saving their bday and xmas money to buy their own psp's, they have to do extra chores to keep a tv hooked to cable in their bedrooms... and I get multiple compliments from friends, relatives, teachers and strangers of how well behaved they all are...

Answer 8

There have always been good parents and bad parents.  There have always been permissive parents and strict parents.

In EVERY generation older people bemoan the fact that things are so 'bad' today, and that 'kids today' are rude and disrespectful. This is true today. It was true in the 1950's and the 1920's and the 1700's.  It was probably true in ancient Rome and cave parents probably bitched about it too.

The 'good old days' will always be viewed through rose colored glasses ....

Answer 9

I think Boksi summed it up!

Answer 10

Exactly Pippin.....

My good old days were the days when I had no kids and did drugs and raved my teenaged years away, I look back on them fondly even though there is not much to really fondly remember.

"the good old days will always be viewed through rose colored glasses."

Agreed.

Answer 11

One way parents are different is the method of dicipline....  when i was younger and i did something bad i got a crack across the butt and never did it again.  There was no "time out"  Parents now have reached an all new level of pussification and laziness.  

We also need to stop all these kids having kids....  nothing irritates me more than seeing a 15 yr old in a mall pushing around a baby!  Who taught these girls about self respect.... oh wait... no one because her mother was probably 15 when she was born.  It makes me sick!  

Parents  these days need to grow up and take responsibility for their children.... love them! dicipline them! educate them!

Answer 12

It's not the parents so much as the kids.  When I was young (41 female now), my parents didn't let things go.  They were on top of everything kids did.  You got your *** whipped if you did something wrong....."Just you wait until your father gets home!".  Parents of my age decided that they wouldn't spank the kids anymore cuz they didn't like it when they were little.  Now the kids of thier 16s are mean, disrespectful and obnoxious because the parents don't do anything to reprimand the kids now.

Spanking children for doing wrong is the right thing to do.  My daughter got into drugs, stole my car and ran away many times.  Then, when the punishment came, the teachers and the police wiped their collective hands of me and just called CPS (child protective services) and I had to do major explaining as to why I wanted to punish my own child for STEALING my CAR!

She ran away, was with an older man and caught after curfew.  Think the cops did anything?  Naw, they just called me to come pick her up.  Thanks, that reaaaallllllyyyyy showed her who's boss.

They are.  They know it and it circulates thru schools that the parents and teachers and cops can't do a d**n thing anymore!

Sorry for my rant.  I'm done.  She's grown.  finally.

Answer 13

Parents these days are too permissive, their parents were hard on them and they told themselves "I don't want to be strict like my parents," and this results in raising children who have no respect for authority or their parents. Go into a bus and see how many young kids will get up for an elderly person, not many, why? Because they don't have respect. Of course, this is a generalization and not all children are like this but a lot of them are.