How bad is an occasional bribe?

Question

I know if you overdo it, it can lead to them expecting something in return but how harmful is it when done on occasion?

I bribed my 3 year old w/ sprinkle ice cream yesterday at swim lessons to get him to jump off of the diving board. I knew he was ready for it and would love it, which he did (and I couldn't keep him off of it after he finally tried it). I feel bad though now. Was that wrong?

Answer 1

That doesn't sound like a bribe, more like a reward for his good efforts!  You were just praising him for trying something new and succeeding at it!  Like you said, I don't think 'bribes' are harmful as long as they are not used all the time in every single situation.  I wouldn't feel bad about what you did - I'd feel proud of you son and that's it!

EDIT - for the dentist appt., I see nothing wrong with "if you behave at the dentist, we'll..."  go to the park, swimming, out for lunch, etc.  Good idea, hope it works out for ya!  I just took my daughter with me to my recent cleaning so she could see what it's all about - she didn't want to go, but loved it once she was there.  She even sat in the chair afterwards and let the hygenist count her teeth, I was kinda surprised, but pleased!  Hopefully at our next appt, when she'll get her first cleaning, it will go just as smoothly!

Answer 2

Nope, I don't think it's wrong.

I haven't done it yet.... lol

But I'm sure I will.  :)

Answer 3

I would never ever do such a thing!

Answer 4

It's one thing to say "I will reward you if you do this" but it's completely different to have to bribe your child just to behave. I hate when parents say "If you stop screaming and throwing a fit I'll buy you the toy you want." The kid should listen to you no matter if you offer them a toy or not, this is when bribing is not ok.

Answer 5

In a situation like that, there's nothing wrong with a bribe. It'd be "wrong" if you bribed him to stop biting his sister or stop throwing a fit.

Answer 6

Yes. I have bribed my and continue to bribe my kids with dentist appointments and blood work. They hate both with a passion but they know they get ice cream afterward. Oh well, that's just the way it is some times.

I actually heard Dr.Phil ask a woman if she ever heard of a bribe....lol. It was over something silly with her kid like this and everyone laughed.

As long as it's not to get them to behave and stop being naughty then it's fine.

Answer 7

Any mom who says she has never bribed her child is lying her head off ;-)

I completely agree with what Sweet Cheeks said. You were trying to motivate him to try something new and/or scary. You were not bribing him to do something he automatically should, like not throwing a tantrum or brushing his teeth. Nothing wrong with what you did, what so ever.

Answer 8

no

Answer 9

No, that wasn't wrong.  I think we all use bribes every now and then, lol.   =0)

Answer 10

No. Its to motivate him. Then I think its ok. Just don't bribe over small stuff or he will be expecting something from every action/deed

Answer 11

I see nothing wrong with it. I'm guilty of it too. I think we all do it. I believe it gives them motivation to continue on instead of quitting and once they realize it wasn't so bad, they won't need the "treat" anymore.

I bribe my daughter with ice cream sometimes just to get her to eat her dinner. She ends up eating really well, but then doesn't even want the ice cream anyway. Hey, but telling her she can have it if she wants after she eats sure motivates her to eat well.

Answer 12

if you want my answer you need to give me sprinkle ice cream too!

Answer 13

I guess it depends on the situation. What you did was encouraging him to do something he wouldn't have done otherwise. So no its not bad.