My 20-month-old is starting daycare for one day a week, next week. We've had a couple of hour-long visits so she's used to the place and the people, and she's been around other kids at playgroups since she was six weeks old, so I'm not worried about her settling in at all.
What I am concerned about is how the daycare handles squabbles over toys etc. I used to volunteer in a daycare, so on one of our visits, when two toddlers started having a tug-of-war over a toy, I comfortably stepped in to help them to resolve the issue, by telling them to use their words, and that it wasn't okay to take a toy that someone else was playing with. The worker there told me that they allow the children to settle disputes between themselves unless it looks like one of them is getting hurt.
The more I think about it, the less I like this idea. I know that it's good for them to learn to deal with things by themselves, so I don't believe that the staff should just step in and sort it out for them, but I think maybe they're going too far. What if one kid is constantly having toys taken from them, and doesn't put up a fight? Surely, if the staff never step in (because the issue is 'solved') that will mean that one kid never learns to stand up for him/herself? The other kid will learn that it's okay to take things. I'd rather see the staff step in and help the kids learn to solve it by modelling the right behaviour. Both need to know that their way is not an appropriate way of dealing with the issue.
I'm planning on talking about my concerns with the staff, next week, but I wondered what other people thought about this. How does your daycare handle this situation?
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