How can I Help my brother be happy?

Question

My brother is autistic and just finished grade 9. in elementary school he only had one really good friend, however when high school started they went to two different schools and stopped talking.

i feel like this kid my bro was friends with just acted friendly because he didnt want to hurt my brothers feelings, and highschool was kind of a way out for him.

my brother has walked around the house all year moping about wanting to call his friend and hang out with them. at school he focuses on work, and only started talking with friends resently.

ive tried to tell him hundreds of times that when you get to highschool you get new friends, and most people dont even talk to their old elementary school friends. i used myself as an example. he doesnt get it, and he continues to cry about not having his best friend around.

I feel horrible about it and until today i thought there was nothing i could do.

BUT, i got an idea that i could type up a letter from his 'friend'.

Answer 1

I have a 12 year old brother who is like many children with familiar regular place, people and things. Sounds like your brother has got use to his world containing his friend. And I would like to think he was truly your brothers friend. We will never understand most peoples true feelings in our life but trying to understand the emotions and thoughts of a person with autism is a thousand times to not ever understand. I think when you try to explain it just makes his emotional thinking difficult.

Your brother is mourning a loss. Let him do this in his own way. You can help just by being there for him. Eventually he will get over this (after he discovers new people

Answer 2

My son, a hearing handicapped boy faced the same problem. His friends passed the class and went to higher class, he wanted to sit with them, he was not allowed. See, the companionship is need of a person. Try to get your brother connected to more and more people, even pets, so that he does not feel bad about any one of them getting missing any time. Take care.

Answer 3

I have a 14 year old daughter who is like many children with autism obsessed with familiar regular place, people and things. Sounds like your brother has got use to his world containing his friend. And I would like to think he was truly your brothers friend.  We will never understand most peoples true feelings in our life but trying to understand the emotions and thoughts of a person with autism is a thousand times to not ever understand. I think when you try to explain it just makes his emotional thinking difficult. It is not easy for him to rationalise why his friend is not in his world. This will happen again and again as he grows and more people come in and out of his life, including the day you move out of home. DO NOT MAKE UP A FALSE LETTER. that will confuse and hurt him if and when he runs into the friend and he is not greeted the same. Lovely thought, poor decision. You said he has started to talk with friends at school again, just let him be. He will have to work it out in his mind that people come and go. You should talk to your parents or his therapist if he has one, or even an autistic support service to help you understand and take some pressure of yourself. Your brother has a wonderful sister always be there when you can but he will find his way to live in the world, it is just heartbreaking for those that love him.

Answer 4

Your brother is mourning a loss. Let him do this in his own way. You can help just by being there for him. Eventually he will get over this (after he discovers new people in HS). Keep supporting him as you have been and don't ignore HIS feelings on the issue. It may take some time, but he will recover.

Sometimes, asking leading questions can be a useful method of drawing someone out of their misery.

Answer 5

maybe you should say, yourself, if your bother is a really understanding type of person, that it's ok and NOBODY can help it. tell him that he just has to face it.

Answer 6

tell him to make new and better friends and to not worry about what people think about him