How can I adopt when I am faced with restrictions?

Question

I know all the basic facts about adoption, but I was wondering if anyone has any ideas about how I can adopt if my husband has a felony from 10 years ago. He was 17 but charged as an adult, it has nothing to do with abuse or violence. Other than the felony we meet all other qualifications. We have tried ivf, but it didnt work either. Does anyone have any idea of how we might be able to adopt now? My husband is a really great guy and everyone says how he would be an awesome father, but it looks like he may never get that chance. Does anyone have any advice?

Answer 1

Please don't give up.

First thing you need to do is contact homestudy agencies in your area and be very honest. Most agencies have administrative codes they need to follow in order to approve your homestudy they should be able to tell you whether they believe you have a good chance of being approved or not. Most agencies are looking for felony's that have to do with sexual abuse or anything that harms children.

Most agencies won't be able to tell you if you will be approved before hand because the homestudy process is what determines whether you are approved as adoptive parents. Ask the agency if they have seen any cases like yours in the past and what the outcome was. I would also recommend that your husband write or type a letter explaining how the incident happened and what he has learned from that incident and how it has changed his life and make sure when you sign up with an agency you get this to them along with all supporting documents to the arrest so they can see that you have everything lined up for them.

Please don't ever give up. There are many bumps but it is all worth it!!

Answer 2

What about an expungement?  Some states allow first offenses to be removed from the record.

If not an option there is nothing stopping you from pursuing an independent adoption with the assistance of an adoption lawyer.  Make sure your husbands offense is noted early and often to all involved.  An independent adoption would allow you to connect with a birth mother directly and avoid the critical eye of some agencies.  Best of luck in your decision.  And be warned......it's not for the faint of heart!!!

Answer 3

There are some agencies that will still let you adopt.  Especially since the felony was more than 7 years ago and he was a minor at the time.  I would start calling some agencies and just be honest with them and see if they will allow you to adopt.

Answer 4

well, i'm sorry....

i honestly don't think it's going to happen.  the reason is whether or not you personally have a felony, you are linked to your man, who has one.

they won't place a child with you, if it's done legally.

Answer 5

I agree with the previous poster about getting it exponged from your husband's record.  You will need to hire an attorney.  Given it was when he still was a minor and he has over 10 years without any other issues, it is at least a possiblity.  Good luck!

Answer 6

If you can't adopt, can you still be a foster parent?

How about volunteering...be a big sister/brother, or a mentor to kids in your community?

Does your are have a crisis nursery program?  Maybe you could sign up and be able to take in young children for short periods to help out families who need it.

There are many ways you can get involved with kids, if you truly want to, and still play a very positive and beneficial role in their lives.  IF (and not saying that it isn't) adoption truly isn't a possibility, consider some alternatives where you could still be a true blessing to some kids who could use a positive influence in their lives.

Answer 7

Have you thought about having your hubby apply for a pardon?

In order to qualify the crime must not have involved any violence, weapons or drugs. The offender must have been offence free for a minimum of five years after all punishments for that crime have been served, be it incarceration time, parole or probation time.

It would remove the offence from showing up on his record at all. However should he ever commit another crime, along the same lines of the first they will "un pardon" it

You can usually pick up applications at your local police station

Answer 8

foster care to adopt might let you. They take things case by case and they take into consideration what your husband has done with his life since that time. But please, remember to be totally honest about it all. Dishonesty will get you denied.

Answer 9

You can adopt in some states.  Bite the bullet and call a homestudy agency or homestudy social worker, and ask!

Most states do not restrict felonies which are:

1.  More than 5-10 years ago, AND

2.  Do not involve a person directly.

Felonies which DO disqualify someone from adopting include felonies against a person, which include distributing controlled substances, rape, assault, terrororistic threats, child abuse, etc.

It is all on a case by case basis, and you will have to be able to defend the argument.  Your husband's age at the time, lifestyle, stability, clean record since the incident, etc., will help.

Answer 10

He would have to get a pardon I think.

Answer 11

you will not be able to adopt however try surrogacy either traditional or gestational,egg donation.

Answer 12

Have you tried adopting through foster care?  I don't know if their requirements are different, but as I understand it, each agency has different expectations.  There is approximately ONE baby for every 90 PAP's, so they have really stringent rules to keep their jobs to a dull roar, knocking out maybe 45 of the PAP's in one shot before they even get finished with the application process.  If you adopt a special needs child, the requirements are far lower in most cases, because they don't care how much money you make or what religion you are...they just want to know you're good people with a safe place to raise a child.

Answer 13

Have him explain to the social worker that he did a stupid thing when he was young.  He should have learned by his immature mistake and he can tell the social worker that.

I think you all still have a chance- don't give up and do not hide this from the social worker.  They will find out anyway.

BTW:  Samone's pardon idea is a great one.  Do that as well.