How can I avoid paying child support for my girlfriends son, if she moves in with me, and it doesnt work out?

Question

My girlfriend is pregnant with my child. I want her to move in with me, and she wants to as well. The problem is that she wants to bring her 14 year old son to live with us. He has been diagnosed with O.D.D., which stands for Oppositional Defiance Disorder. The kid won't do any chores, and hardly talks to anyone. He wont go to bed when he should. He wont shower when he is told to. He just sits around playing extremely violent interactive video games all day and all night. His father plays the same types of games and has a similar personality. I dont think this kid will ever change. His mother is too leniant, and his father wants to punish my girlfriend for leaving him, so doesnt try to co-operate in disciplining the child. Personally, I think the kid just needs to be grounded for a couple of months, and have his violent games taken away permanently. Anyway, if she moves in with me and brings her son along, I feel the relationship could be at a high risk of not working out because of her kooky kid. I own a nice home and she has agreed to sign prenuptual agreements, but, I have been told that I could then be sued for child support for the other guys kid. I was wondering if there was a way to protect myself from that here in Ontario, Canada?

Answer 1

You are a steer so what makes you think it's your child

with you shooting blanks and all and the way you speak of her son we can only hope you can't sire a child.

Answer 2

I think the sperm donor father is the only one who has to pay child support unless you legally adopt him, which I don't see happening.

I would strongly suggest that you two go to counseling BEFORE she moves in. This boy has serious problems and not easily handled by a large percentage of the people. This will take a lot of effort from you and her, therefore get the counseling BEFORE she moves in.  It may be disastrous if she moves in with all these obvious conflicts in place.

Answer 3

I have never heard of such a thing! The only child that you would have to pay child support on is your bio child! And you would only have to do that if she went and went to court for it. So i don't know who told you that c**p but they are soooo wrong and they need to not say anything if they don't have the proof to back it up or the legal documents to back it up as well.

Good luck with the cookie child though. But I'm with you on grounding him and taking away the games 100%

Answer 4

ODD does not mean you throw your hands up and let the kid do as he wants.

You are the adults..........(presumably)........and therefore.....you set the ground rules........

no gaming, until a shower is taken.   Trash is taken out., room is cleaned..........etc.

Taking on a NORMAL teenager would be tough enough at that age.........but taking on a spoiled brat,..... groomed on violent games........and two parents who aren't doing a bloody thing about his "disorder."........

you better think this over carefully Buddy..........and then think again.

On the other hand,,,,,,you got the woman pregnant.......and she is now carrying your child.......soooooooo, you must have known her other kids were part of the package...........

I wish you luck.........I wouldn't go overboard right away......but definitely set some ground rules.........and fast.  

Answer 5

You would only be liable for him if you adopt him he is legally not your responsibility.  And before you guys even get married you should work out the details into disciplining.  He is going to live in your house and you should be able to make the rules.  His disorder is not a get out of jail free card.

Answer 6

YOu do not have to pay support for another man's child.

If he chooses to stop making support payments then she can take him to court and they will garnish his wages. The only child you should be actively concerned about is the child on the way and that one will be your responsibility. As far as the other teen playing video games all day, I would try to be active behind the scenes with your girlsfriend doing positive encouragement for her to slowly try to modify her sons schedule and behavior. Try not to push too much pressure, but just know that being the alternate boyfriend/spouse comes with the price of speaking up in rpivate and letting her deal with the actual disciplining issues. Sadly the child is already on a path and it will take a lot of support from both of you to help him out. Perhaps over time you can introduce him to other venues to let out his rage and get him into community programs, sports, and other healthier things where he can meet other kids his age.  

Answer 7

if you don't marry her

how do you get the dependent child

if you are married and put the child on the IRS form...Yes

but if she just lives there with you

you don't pay child support

she is just another benefit

Answer 8

I wouldn't think that you would be responsible for paying child support since he is not your son, unless of course you adopt him and then you and your girlfriend split up, then it would be your responsibility.  

Answer 9

Unless you adopt her oldest son you do not have to pay child support. Why did you have her sign a prenup if you don't get married? you're just mentioning you're moving in.

Between you and I....she has not moved in yet and already you are anticipating problems, I'd say you're off to a bad start. Before they move in you should both agree on how things will be handled in your home in terms of video games, permissions, respect and discipline. Even if you are not the father of this child he will be living under your roof and you will have a saying into the matter.  

Answer 10

To answer your question: No, you will not be held responsible for your Girlfriend's son. You have no financial obligation to this child or his mother.

On a personal note: What are you doing with this woman? You don't like her son, and you want to marry his mother? He has been diagnosed with a disease and you state that the cure for his disruptive behavior is "Ground him for a few months?" Are you serious???

Have you stopped and thought that maybe this child is acting out for the divorce/seperation of his parents? Did you ever stop and think that it is very common for children to act out in such a way when they come from broken homes? Did you also know that Mother's also have the tendancy to allow this type of behavior because they feel guilty for the failed relationship.

I say if you love this women, offer to help, not make it worse with your negative attitude for this child. It sounds here like you lack children therefore it is hard for you to grasp the reality of the situation you have thrown yourself into.

Why would you want to marry this woman? She obviously doesn't even know how to care and nurture her child, instead she keeps him comatose with video games and probably junk food. I wouldn't be surprised if this kid was over weight....???

Word of advise: Date single women- zero kids.  

Answer 11

interesting, i wish i could help, but sounds like a package deal, weigh out the pros and con, dont do something you will regret..good luck

Answer 12

Canada makes you pay child support for other peoples kids ? I knew canadians had a lose fuse but i didnt know it was  blown . Thank goodness i live in the USA

Answer 13

Don't know about Canada, sounds totally loopy.  Why would you be responsible for another man's child if you don't adopt him?  If that were true I'd be moving in the richest man I could find.

Answer 14

If he is not yours you don't pay child support unless you legally adopt him.