How can I be an important grandma if i dont live near my grandaughter?

Question

We live about 14 hours away and her other grandma lives in a nursing home near my 2 year old grandaughter. We will be seeing them a few times a year but how can my little one know who i am if she only sees me a few times a year? She listens on the phone but wont talk. We hope to move closer to them but not for another 3-4 years. Its hard to be a grandma if she doesnt even know me.

Answer 1

I grew up in TX with my grandparents in Iowa. My favorite thing in the world was to get a package from Grandma. Always contained cookies.

Answer 2

I had a grandma that lived states away and a grandma that lived in the same city, but I am very very close with the states away one.  IT all depends on how you treat the child, i dont just mean spoil her, but show her that she is very important in your life.  She may not understand it now, but cards and phone calls and random "thinking of you" letters will let her know that you care and she can come to you at anytime with anything.  That is what is most important.

Answer 3

The coolest thing in the world for a little kid is getting a letter! My little boy goes out to the mailbox every day with his daddy, sees his daddy getting all these bills and letters, and gets frustrated that he doesnt get anything.

Write her a letter, send her pictures and little necklaces and things. She'll look forward to everything you send!

Answer 4

Maybe you can move closer? 14 hours away isn't *that* bad of a drive, but maybe if you cut that drive down to four or six you could be within a doable driving distance much more often. And, you wouldn't necessarily be moving all too far away from where you already live.

That said, I have a grandma I haven't seen since I was nine years old and before that I'd only seen her twice. My dad moved away before I was born. And I'm 30 now and I don't have any relationship with her at all and never did. My grandma I'm close to lived nearby (or at least within two hours drive) my whole life and she's like my second mother.

Answer 5

just call her and check up on her and visit sometimes

Answer 6

Growing up, I had a grandma that lived an hour away-who I saw almost every weekend. My other grandparents lived halfway across the country, but I never felt like I didn't know them. We visited them once every summer and I still very close to them. When I got older, they'd write me letters and call on all holidays and birthdays. I never had a favorite grandma and I never felt like I didn't have a connection with the one that lived farther away. So I wouldn't worry. If you'll be seeing her a few times a year, she'll know who you are. It's hard right now, b/c she's only 2, but I bet in the next year or two she'll feel just as close to you as her other grandma.

Answer 7

Oh don't worry!!When she is small she prob wont remember you realistically but when she gets older she will know  and understand that your her Grandma and she can come and stay with you on holidays etc!!My husbands family are in England and we talk to his niece and nephew via web-cam and on the phone and send letters and photos and they haven't forgotten us at all and they are 4 and 6 and we moved 2 1/2 years ago(to Ireland)

My little girl is only 11 months and she wont remember her nanny when she sees her but when she is older she wIlll and il bet that they will have a great relationship..I know its hard but it will get easier for you i promise..

Answer 8

I have to agree with the letter strategy, first.  I have two daughters, ages 2 and 4.  Both sets of grandparents live eight hours away.  And with gas and life, visits are few and far between. Letters are fantastic because it makes them feel so special.  They feel very big when they get to put drawings in letters that answer their Grammy's questions like, "What did you do today?" or "What did you eat for dinner?"  Silly questions they know the answers to can make them feel big for being able to communicate since they can't actually write yet.  I must caution you about phone calls... little kids are so moody when it comes to calls and you must never be offended when she won't talk to you.  My husband's parents both get terribly offended when our daughters won't talk to them.  You must understand that their attention span is extremely short and phones can be frustrating because they can't hear and talk at the same time.  They just can't reach everything, so they lose interest.  Plus, there's an element of performance anxiety in it - you know, "Say your ABCs for Grandma." Please, never voice this frustration to them or to their parents.  We can't control their moods.  I'm certain my mother-in-law thinks I have a picture of her with a big red circle and line through it on our wall - teaching them to like my mom more! (In her defense, my mother in law is kind of crazy!) I hope this helps.

Answer 9

just be a grandma - when you visit, feel free to spoil a little, send her some cards with pictures or you and her grandpa - not just for holidays but just because.  That way she can link the face in the picture with the cards.

Good luck

Answer 10

I agree with TTC in addition since you have a computer send her email with pics and short messages they can read to her or even make a little video and send those so she can watch you talking to her.  Also maybe you and the parents could invest in computer camera so you can talk to her live and she can see you on the screen at the same time.