How can I be more patient?

Question

I am 29 years old. Married to a 43yr. old, have awesome relatioship! We have a 17yr.old step daughter(very thinks she is 20), 14 yr.old step daughter(who acts like she is ten or 19 and don't tell her what to do), 10 yr.old son(ADHDand VERY sensitive!), 5yr. old daughter(RED HEAD with attitude). I need help being more patient exspecally with the 10 yr.old.

Answer 1

Close your eyes and count to ten...

and try to remember what it was like for you when you were that age....

Answer 2

An idea you might already be trying, is to have either full family meetings weekly for everyone to air their tangled cobwebs, or smaller beef sessions with only a few members ready to hear anyone justify their position on this 'n that.   Why should you be the lone adult all day?   The 17 yr old sounds ready for adult duty, on a part-time basis, and it is your actual job to see that she gets her feet wet at it.   The 14 yr old is ready to see what adult stuff is all about, at least observationally.   Delegate or go nuts!   You have what you need.   Regards, Larry.

Answer 3

Hi...

remember you were that age as well at one time...if things get to be too much, give yourself a break, do some for you, once you have relaxed a bit,..set up rewards for good behavoir and exciting goals for them to work towards.

good luck

Answer 4

Time Outs for adults are great.

If you find yourself getting frustrated walk away from the issue to collect yourself and return in a calm fashion to deal with it.

What exactly are you having trouble with, it is hard to help with such little information.

Answer 5

I found lamaze counting and breathing very helpful.  I would take a minute to breathe...  And then I realized not to be bothered as much.

Answer 6

You MUST use a proper 'diet' with the ADHD. The correct foods will help tremendously! And isn't this what you want? A calmer child without too much medication? Children are not with the parents long in the sceme of things...and what you say & do NOW shapes their mind, attitudes and their LIFE when you are long gone. You need to plan some down-time activities for yourself to recharge your 'batteries'. And remember that love & attention is the best thing you can give to a difficult child.

Answer 7

I thought previous posters gave great advice.  to add,  even if you are at your witts end and someone is pushing your buttons so to speak, try not to raise your voice, yell and keep your witts about you.  You have to set the over all tone of the house by example. stick to your guns and be firm and consistent while keeping yopur cool.   If you are in a situation and finding it challenging to be patient, I say pretend you are being videotaped or monitered.  Would you be embarrassed how you were handling or reacting to the kids.  Who knows, if you are a spiritual person you might belive you have angels or loved ones present in your life.  Pray for patience..they just might be watching and listening:)