How can I break my 15 mon old son from sleeping in the bed with his mom?

Question

He was hospitalized at 6 months old for a bad virus. 4 days straight in the hospital he was held constantly. Ever since, he has been sleeping in my old spot. We have got him to fall asleep in his crib once, but when he wakes up S*it hits the fan. He has a very stubborn personality. We have let him cry for 2 hrs straight thinking he would go to sleep.

Answer 1

My 15 month old little man is a stubborn one too, and I feel your pain... we've been there!  But finally, we won our bedtime battle.  Here's my suggestion.

At night, establish a routine... read a book, take a bath, etc, then rock him for a while, and put him to sleep still awake but drowsy.  For my own son, we have a very soothing lullaby CD we play on repeat and put on the Homemedics SoundSpa on Rain.  It is a soothing sound that blocks out noises that might wake him up.  He also has a dim nightlight in his room.  I have found that if it goes out, he wakes up in the dark and freaks out because he can't see where he is.  When it's on, he simply goes back to sleep on his own.

When you're first starting out, it may help to sit in a chair in his room with him as he's falling asleep in his crib.  We didn't do this with our little guy, but I've heard of it working for some people.  Start out close to his crib where you can rub his head or hold his hand.  Then move a little further away each day until you're at the door way, then finally outside the door.  Then not there at all.  Again, we didn't do this, but if YOU feel bad completely cutting him off... this may help.

When he does wake up, go into his room a few minutes after you hear him (if he cries louder the longer he cries, it's best to go to him quickly the first time).  Softly soothe him with your voice, do not pick him up... hug him and kiss him, but IN his crib, then lay him back down.  Cover him up, give him his paci or loveys if he has them (if not, getting him a comfort object, silky blanket, something may help too), and leave the room.

He'll begin crying again.  Wait five minutes.  Repeat... but simply say good night.  If he cries gain, wait ten minutes and repeat, but no talking at all.  You can continue increasing the length of time you let him cry it out if it seems like it's working.  

Bottom line, it's easy for their cries to break your heart, but both you and your wife have to be strong together.  It may help him at first to be in his crib or a playpen in your room... NEXT to your bed.  Reclaim your old spot!!!

Make sure that this same routine is followed for naptime too.  Mom and Dad's bed is NO LONGER ALLOWED to sleep in.  Period.  Kids are stubborn, but eventually, they'll get the new routine.  It's better to do it now than when he's two... or three... trust me.  TRUST me.  I nannied for six children... and one of them was a co-sleeper with her parents... she was SEVEN YEARS OLD before she slept in her own bed.  

It takes time, patience, and perseverance.  But once you start, you cannot back down.  Not once... because then they know that they MIGHT win if they cry hard enough for long enough.  The toddler phase is filled with battles of wills such as this.  It's a difficult time, this transition from baby to big boy... on both the children and their parents.  Bedtime should be a time that everyone looks forward to... not a time that should be dreaded.  And it can be positive again... just take the time to work with him.  He'll get it. :)

Good luck!

Answer 2

When he wakes just roke him back to sleep and put him in the crib again!