How can I break up with my boyfriend without hurting him?

Question

I've been dating my boyfriend for about five months, and I'm his first girlfriend ever, even though he's not my first boyfriend. He's really sensitive and he swears he loves me more than anything. But I don't see a future with him. I'm going to college and he is working and my college is close to his house and he wants to see me often. I adore him as a person but I can't be with him in that way. I want to meet new people at college but I can't tell him that. He said that he would never hurt me but I don't want to hurt him by breaking up with him. I just don't want to break his heart but I need to move on. :[

Please help me.

Answer 1

when you commit to a relationship...you're preparing for hurt!!!...in both parties...

it wont be the end of the world - he'll get over it. just state the truth

good luck!!  

Answer 2

you can't break up with him without breaking his heart so if you are going to do it, then go ahead.

Answer 3

Shoot him in the head. Its quick and painless, but if you're into that kinda thing put one into is knee cap. It wont kill him but it hurts like a 8itch.

Answer 4

just when u break up with him...be crying so it makes you sound like u care which u probably do but im just saying...be nice to him to and call him after yal'l break up and have a friendly conversation!

Answer 5

Tell him you want to take a break and just gradually take it down to friendship level. Don't lead him on... so limit the visits and phone calls, and stop the s*x if there's any.

Answer 6

Give him a threesome with your best friend.  That would make any news easy to take.

Answer 7

hey hun.

Well if you have totally thought it through and you know that this is what you want to do then tell him in the nicest way possible.

Tell him what you told us, say you think hes an awsome guy but your not in to him as anything more then a good friend. Tell him youd love to be friends with him(when hes ready to be), and you are really sorry.

If i was him i would rather you break up with me then be with me and not even want to be. Dont lead him on, tell him the truth. Yes it will hurt, but better sooner then later. And im sure if you tell him the reason about college etc and how you can be with him in that way, then he will understand. If he loves you then yeah h**l be hurt. But better then lying to him right? If you see no future then tell him

Good luck hun!

Answer 8

love hurts and bleeds and bites,sucks and is the most confusing thing in the world .. i am 44 yr g*y male and have just broken up with my b/f of 3 yrs , he is now 21,and i love him more than anything and i am still so hurt i cant see any one but still call him everyday and we just talk .. but i cant explain love ..... can anyone ? ... what is true and real LOVE!

Answer 9

Having been the on your boyfriend's side more times than I care to count, I feel for him.  Still, your comments here are very revealing about you.  You are mature and reasonable.  College is to learn via the classroom and the campus experience.   I guess as an expert at being dumped I would ask that you not use the phrase: "You are a nice guy, but ...."   I encourage you to point out that college is going to be an academic and social challenge.  I want to end our relationship because I think college is where my heart and mind has to be.  Also, that you want to end the time together with each other on a friendly basis.  Lastly, I think you need to make this the permanent end so that you can start your adult life at school and he can have the option of freedom to build new relationships.   I do not think you can have a gradual break up.  It is feels like it needs to full and final.  For the good of both of you.   You are each going a different direction.   Be respectful but firm.  That is the case you bring to us to answer and I offer this reply to a difficult problem.  My best wishes for you and the boy.  

Answer 10

Sorry hun,

No matter how you tell him it's going to hurt.  Especially if he loves you.  However I don't believe you can be in love at that age.  Just have alot of crazy hormones.  Anyways, the best thing to do is sit down with him and gently break the truth to him.  Give him lots of support and make sure he knows how much of an impact he made on your life...well if he did.  If he is mature enough he will be hurt, but understand that you are growing up.  This is the next step in your life and you don't picture him in it.

Answer 11

tell him that you want to just be best friends and tell him that you do not want to hurt his feelings,but you want to just be friends or bffs.

Answer 12

Just remember the thing that hurts guys more then "the breaking up" part is giving them false hope by being to nice about.  What you need to do is be direct and to the point. A guy needs that or he will think maybe you didn't want to or you still love him.  

There is no easy way to do this. I recommend taking him to a public place to do it. This may seem harsh but he will be less inclined to cry and make a scene. Secondly, do it swiftly and don't try to sugar coat it, as this will make you appear as if you're not sure if you want to break up.

I know its easier said than done, but the longer it goes on for, the more it will hurt. Don't be tempted to return his calls or messages as this may give him false hope, but do be willing to discuss it in a few weeks time if he feels he needs answers. But make it perfectly clear this does not mean you can resolve things and get back together.

Breakups are never pretty.  REMEMBER a clean cut is less painful then a torn one.  and thats the only help i can give to you.

when i left my ex, i did it at his house and he was sobbing and begging me to stay... so i really recommend doing it in public..

Answer 13

just get it over with and find another c.o.c.k

Answer 14

awh poor kid,

well..have you thought of this alot? you should cuz if you make a mistake and want him back its a no no..

tell him the truth, don't ever lie about why you want to break up to make it easier because its all gonna come back !

tell him what you told us now..

Answer 15

You can't break up with someone without hurting them.  Although for safety's sake you can meet them in a public place, a resturant for example, where they are less likely to do something drastic.  Be sure to come in seperate cars.

Answer 16

say this part of what you said to us...

I adore him as a person but I can't be with him in that way.

I don't see a future with him

I don't want to hurt him by breaking up with him. I just don't want to break his heart but I need to move on. :[

Answer 17

I think he sounds like a ncie guys...you should maybe hang out with him more..but if not then try to talk to him nicely...tell him your true feelings what you feel about him, im sure h**l understand.

good luck.

Answer 18

I think the way John Mayer broke up with Jennifer Anniston was to send a text message....its the in thing now.

Look he will hurt a little but he will get over it, better him than you, right.

Answer 19

It's inevitable...you're going to break his heart, and he is going to be totally hurt.  Just be completely honest about how you feel and what you want. But be compassionate and caring at the same time.  Dont go wacko on him.  

Answer 20

Just be truthful its better than leading him on.

Answer 21

IMHO i think u could tell him to have a break and stay as friends just friends,i think if he mature enough,it will be ok with him

but,You have to be honest with him,its all about honesty

Answer 22

This is a Hard one! Breaking up is NEVER easy for anyone... I think you just have to be Honest (but not TOO honest)... I would lean towards the whole I'm going to college, I cant be in a serious relationship right now, its not you its me thing.... NOT telling him that you don't see a future with him. THat might make him feel really bad about himself and hard on his self esteem.

Also.... once you DO break it off, you should distance yourself from him. Don't talk to him or see him all the time (that's what he will try and do, you know!) The more time he spends with you the harder it will be for you. (I learned that the hard way!!)

I think you are doing the right thing!

Good Luck!! =)

Answer 23

no matter what you say you will hurt him, just tell him as gently as you possibly can.

Answer 24

just *** him never call him or respond to his calls tell him its over and that you've moved on or just have him catch you getting banged by another guy in yalls bedroom. your welcome for the tips and hit me up if you need any other pointers