How can I change my life?

Question

I am a 23 yr old g*y male. It is kind of hard and kind of stupid to be asking these kind of questions but...I am the type of guy who is willing to be loyal to a relationship but at the same time I don't date because I am full of insecurities. Everyone goes through many bad experiences and they make you stronger and indeed I am much stronger BUT I am always worried about my physical appearance. I am always thinking about what other people think of me and sometimes I do feel ugly, although I am not. I am average looking and when I take the time to get myself ready...I FEEL SO HOT!!! but then....some days I am fall in a hole where I just keep comparing myself to others....saying things like... "I wish I had that skin, I wish I had his hair, I wish I had blue eyes, I wish I had that hot body, I wish I had as much friends as he has"

It is impossible for me to explain how I truly feel in these paragraphs BUT I sometimes feel so lonely I can't even stand it. I feel rejected! that's the word... REJECTED... Is that feeling of rejection. Like when I go to a bar or a club or some places like that and I don't feel "popular" I don't feel that I am being hit on. I figured that with all these feelings and emotions....I CANNOT DATE anyone...they'll think I'm crazy! (and I don't blame them lol)... I know I might not get good answers on here, but I am so lonely that I can't even think of how I can feel better.

And....friends....I do have some "friends" right now. I have 4 friends....three girls and a transsexual. I don't even mention any of this to them b/c they can care less. The three girls....you know...they're girls and they will never understand me...believe me I've tried. The other one....she is a prostitute and her life is already a hole. She is very superficial and materialistic. When I mention something about how I feel she doesn't care. Sometimes I am so depressed that I try texting her but she will never answer.

I've tried going to a psychologist but all they do is ask you questions and questions and questions and it's hard to be feeling like another "patient". I don't even think that anyone can understand me. I don't want to feel like the "annoying" person/friend. Or the bitter one who never gets laid, or the not so popular.

I have only talked about the negative feelings I have...but I do have some goals, and dreams in life. I am going to college, doing journalism. I am exited about it. I am also into music, I write, I sing, I've done so many things that I've enjoyed that I it's sad that I can't even focus more on that. I don't want to be materialistic but now I am b/c I don't have any friends, so the only thing I can do is think "material."

Not sure....

Answer 1

the only one who rejected you is YOU , stop hating yourself and go and make some friends .

Answer 2

If you really want to change your life in a much more positive way, you would be indeed in need of exposing your life to quite new challenges.  Otherwise, it might be very difficult to think of changing your life so easily as you might think of.

The foremost thing you would be required to change your present social set up and get away with the present ones by replacing them with the those ideals whose life pattern would be at least exemplary assimilated to the one you want to be.  That is how you would start opting to the life style of your new friends.  In addition, it might be necessary to take regular exercises in the open air free of any pollution, the better would be early in the morning.  Reading books about different cultures may also be helpful.  Try to get involved in promotion of social activities; such as helping others in finding jobs etc., thus contributing to eliminating and/or curtailing the unemployment.  Nevertheless, in the social activities vast sector, the choice will be totally yours and you may opt to choose any field of your interest other than present one(s).  You have to help yourself by  finding ways and means to change your life style in a most appropriate manner you would deem it appropriate under the given circumstances.

I am quite certain and hopeful that one day, by virtue of a positive changed life style, you will feel pride of yourself.  You will be quite different person.  Young man, remember "those who do good, feel good themselves", provided you do it selflessly and sincerely without any expectations.

Wish you all the best and every success in changing your life positively.  So long.

Answer 3

I think you should try seeing another professional! Just like other relationships, it is often that you don't find the right one the first time!

Answer 4

oh my this is not good not one little bit youve got to realize that you are a beutifull person and even though you might not have "his skin" "his body" or "his eyes" you have "your body eyes and skin" and something you have that they dont is your personallity your tallents and the things that make you special beyond anyone else . and your self image is normal if that makes sence if not let me explain i have a twin he is extreemly good looking 6foot 3 blonde skinny blue eyes he looks like a swiss super model with a killer personality but he constantly (p.s im not as good looking as him so im not trying to brag) thinks hes the b*****d child of a pig and a sponge and he sees himself as an ugly person so your self image is the same as the rest so dont sell yourself short also if you dont have as many freinds heres the easiest solution (p.s its worked for me ) PUT YOURSELF IN SITUATIONS THAT FORCE YOU TO MINGLE WITH PEOPLE go to dance classes and things that your intrested in even things your not intrested in and force yourself to talk to people and even though you may feel awkward you will be happy you did it . and protray a mask of confodince even if you dont feel it just pretend if you goof laugh it off and people will admire you it works if you keep it up

so in conclusion stick yourself in happy situations that make you happy realize that your a beutifull person be confodent and you will go far

p.s im a blonde person so i have simple blonde solutions to things so i hope i dont sound stupid