How can I comfort my cats?

Question

My wife of 8 years (been together for 13) has decided to split up. We have 2 cats we have had since birth. They are both 8 years old, spayed and neutered, from the same litter. They are strictly indoor. Since she has left this week, our male has become destructive and the female has become even more lazy. I talk and play with them very often, they just seem to be upset their mother is not here anymore.

Answer 1

They really are just like kids.  I love my kids, I have two of them and I know that every night they are waiting by the door for me to get home from work.  Separation anxiety is terrible on a cat, they will get over it, but they will never be quite the same.  Their mommy could stop in every now and again, I'm sure she misses them just as much.  

Answer 2

Sorry you are going through all this. First thing they need is routine.

Fed at the same times every day. They are also probably picking up on your feelings and vibes. This is when cats can actually be at their best.Let them inside you. Best of luck

Answer 3

Sorry for all of you.  I know you're hurting.

cats do not deal with change very well. so what they are doing is "normal" for stressed cats

get some Feliaway at the pet store.  that will help them both.  it comes in a plug-in dispenser.  you may need more than one.

then make sure to keep the litter boxes cleaned as they were used to and use the same food.

get some dangly toys to play with the male to use up some of that pent-up energy.  

Good luck.  

Answer 4

Pets can become like children. Ask her to come visit them once and a while until they get more used to her not always being there.

Answer 5

I am sorry for your problems. When couples split it's very hard on the children and the animals.  I hope you have good communication with your wife and she can visit and she could call on the phone and talk to the cats. Hearing her voice will help.  I always call my guys when I travel and they love hearing me tell them about my trip.

You will just have to let them throw their fits and let them mourn.  That should pass with time.  Just keep them occupied with some toys and play time.  

good luck

Answer 6

There is a product called Feliway.  It emits pheromones that help calm cats.  There are at least two versions of it, a spray and a diffuser.  I think the diffuser is more expensive, but also more helpful, as the correct amount is expelled and provides consistent levels.

I've had great success with Feliway and I know others who have, too.  

It doesn't surprise me that the male is the one acting up.  His "woman" is gone.  When I got divorced I left the two cats with my ex beasue he kept the house.  Whenever I go to visit, the male bites me -- but it is a possessive bite.  He bites and holds on.  Luckily, I see it for what it is.  I discipline him him appropriately, but I don't blame him.  Your cat, too, is just reacting out of instinct.  Try not to get mad at him.  Just love him (Sounds like that is what you are doing!)

Try the Feliway.  You can get it at PetSmart and Amazon.