How can I convince him to marry me?

Question

My fiance joined the Army National Guard. Well, he would make more money if he was married. We've tossed around the idea of getting married legally for the benefits and having a ceremony later. Before he joined the Army, we hadn't planned on getting married until 2010. How can I convince him to marry me? I think it would be for the better. Either way, we're getting married right? Why would he not want to? He's not communicating well on this subject. Thanks for your advice!

Answer 1

If he doesn't want to do it then dont pressure him, it could cause a huge row and the 2010 thing could be off completely.

Answer 2

you need to let your partner know that the main reason why you want to get married is cos you love him and dont want to loose him, instead of making a fool out of yourself, making it seem like because of benefits. i have a feeling you love him but you just want to give out abundant reasons and also elaborate on every minute reasons why you want to marry him,

unfortunately its scaring him. find more tangilble reasons like your love, and making it right, and no S.B. M

Answer 3

honey you cannot convince him to marry you if he's not ready at the moment. And later down the road that could come back to bite you in the butt. If he isnt jumping on it now theres a reason. You need to sit and talk with him, ask him why he doesnt think its a good idea. Respect whatever decision he makes, you cannot force someone to marry you.  

Answer 4

I know this must be very frustrating for you. Have you sat down with him and told him exactly how this is making you feel? Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship especially marriage. He may feel like he is not ready or that he can't support you the way he wants. My advice is to talk to him kindly about this matter because you do not want to push him away. If after you have talked to him and expressed how you feel and he still is not willing to marry you or if he is not willing to try and see where you are coming from then perhaps you should put things on hold and ask yourself if he is really the "one for you". I am a firm believer that the man that a woman marries should cherish her, love her, and respect her. I will be praying for you because I am sure that you are hurt and frustrated. But try and talk to him. See what happens. You deserve to be respected and if he is not willing to talk to you and see where you are coming from then in my opinion he is not ready for marriage nor does he deserve you.

Answer 5

You cant convince him to do anything he doesnt want to do. And believe it or not two years can make a world of difference. So i would wait and do what you originally planned, and decide then whether not marriage is for the both of you. There really is no need to rush.  

Answer 6

If you have to "convince" someone to marry you, he's not the right one for you...

Answer 7

I don't think that you can make him do it, even if it makes more sense to get it done. Try NOT talking about it for a while...you've got time...and it's like you said...Your getting married someday anyway...at least he's agreed to that much! Good Luck!

Answer 8

don't push it. why cant you wait til the date you originally set? why would it really be better, as you said you're getting married anyway right? he's probably not communicating because he feels like he's being backed into a corner, or that you are just after the benefits. marriage should be about your love not monetary benefits or convenience and although those are nice you shouldn't rush it for that reason alone. you cant convince him to do it now unless he really wants too.  

Answer 9

If communication is not going well

don't press the issue any further.

You don't want to FORCE him

to marry you!

Answer 10

YOu should

never have to "convince" someone to marry you. Clearly he isn't ready yet. You don't marry cause you can get more money or benefits. He will marry you when his heart tells him he is absolutely ready, until then lay off of the issue, it isn't all about you, money or benefits. He isn't communicating well with you cause you are trying to manipulate him into something he isn't yet ready for.

Answer 11

Give him an ultimatum such as -

Marry or no s*x

Marry or I leave

Marry or I,ll take a lover

etc. You will know what will work best if you can find time to sit back and think as if you were advising your best friend

Good luck

Incidently we are celebrating our Ruby Wedding Anniversary today - 40 years - so must be doing someting right as we are both very much in love and very happy!

Answer 12

There is no way to "convince" someone to marry you. If you have to "convince" him, then you'll both end up regretting it. Also, being a military wife is hard, are you sure you are ready for it? The money may look good, but it's not all wine and roses.

Answer 13

I don't really think people here are getting the wrong impression.

Despite the fact that he brought it up, you can't "convince" someone to get married.  That's not a decision that people should really be convinced to do...it's not like going to see a movie.  He may not want to because he has some kind of reservation about it and or really does want to wait.

Do yourself AND him a favor--drop the subject and stop trying because in the end you may find that pushing someone into something they may not be ready to do is not all its worth.

Answer 14

We are not getting the wrong impression.....he was just talking about stuff......he is NOT ready to get married. If he was he would do it. You need to back off before you get dumped for constantly nagging him.

You may also have to face the fact that he may never marry you.....unless there is an engagement ring on your finger and actual plans...like where and an exact date.....you are NOT getting married to him anytime soon...no matter what you think.

Lay off the poor guy....he has enough to worry about right now...like going to Iraq or Afghanastan, and the fact that he will be leaving you soon for basic.