How can I convince my girlfriend that h**l would freeze over before I'd go back to my ex?

Question

My ex-wife is now single, and is suddenly being much friendlier towards me. I'm giving her the cold shoulder as much as I can (we have young kids so I try to always be civil with her for their sake). My girlfriend who I really love seems very freaked-out by this, and said that she worries my ex wants my back, and will try to get to me through the children. I've assured her I'd never do this, but it doesn't seem to be enough, and is creating a tension between us.

Answer 1

Go with your girlfriend's best friend. That should stop her worrying about your ex. Or go with a bloke instead. Or both. That should divert her anxiety. Obviously whichever you do make sure you tell your girlfriend that it is her fault and that she pushed you to this.

Answer 2

marry her

Answer 3

Time will show.    

But try to understand her concerns.  Do not talk her down

Answer 4

Like the advocate said, MARRY HER!!!

Answer 5

Be patient and always reassure her how special she is to you. She may be a little insecure so tell her how beautiful she is even when she looks like c**p. Let her know that you ex is an ex for a reason. (Maybe even tell white lies and say that your ex is ugly.)

If all else fails, maybe say something like, "Are you so concerned about me getting back with my ex because deep down you want to be back with your ex?"

She will knock everything off then.  

Answer 6

Show her that she is the one you want. Give her lots of attention, do nice things for her, surprise her and make sure she knows you love HER.

Answer 7

Punch her in the face and run

Don't really do that though

Answer 8

Alright- I am in the same type of relationship- but I am the girlfriend... let me first ask how long your gf and you have been together?  How is she with your children and how are they responding to her??  And is your ex manipulative?  Would your girlfriend have any reason to think so?  I am bringing this up first because from her eyes she is dedicating her life to yours... and your children's.  Also, see that rather than just being a girlfriend she is trying to understand the feeling of being "stepmom".  She is choosing to be with a man who has children with another woman.... she will never be the one to give you a first child.  She will always have to be reminded she is not the mother.... look at the placement of the situation.  She is the outsider in comparison to mother, father, child.  Therefore make sure your behaviors are showing her that she is part of your life and it is moving forward.  Women know what women are made of.... every woman who has been with a man for a period of time is certain she can get him back if she so wishes... what I mean by this is that women are very intelligent creatures and a scorned or love lust woman(specially in lure of her fathers child....) can be a scary thought.....  Therefore, make sure your ex is not being manipulative with the children(in their capacity to your gf) make sure you are being very honest!!!!  I cannot stress that enough.  If you have a chat with your ex tell your gf about it- she is your partner- if you try to make it easier by not letting her in on things you are just adding to the feeling of alienation in her eyes.  She is very valid in feeling freaked out- it is a very delicate time because it is a blending- just be honest and make sure by you being civil you are not catering to the needs of your ex and putting your gf's needs on the back burner..... I would suggest her writing all her concerns(no matter how silly they may seem) on a piece of paper- you do the same- then begin to work them out- write down family boundaries both of you are secure in- make sure everything is simple and clear from the start- break it all down and there is no where to go but up as long as everyone has voiced their needs- women just want to feel secure.... period- ah, blessings for patience- you are a good man for trying to work on this~!!!!

Answer 9

Giving your ex the 'cold shoulder' is not conducive to achieving a balanced attitude.  The time for self destruction is over.

The only saving feature of a divorce is the ability of the two people involved to be amicable and remain friends.

If you or your current girlfriend cannot accept this then it would appear she is very insecure and perhaps too possessive, and you still harbour some deep resentment towards your ex

If your girlfriend has these misgivings now then she is not the girl for you.  Let her know you want her trust otherwise there is no future for your relationship.