How can I convince my mom to let me go on birth control?

Question

I am 17 and have recently become sexualy active with my boyfriend of almost a year, we use condoms but I do not feel as safe as I would be if we area using the pill or simalar product plus a condom, my mom and I are taking a roadtrip in a few days and I am planning on bringing it up then, I am not planning on telling her that I am sexualy active unless I absolutely must, my arguement so far is something like the following:

mom, blah blah blah, I have a bit of a big question for you, and I do not demand an answer right now, but I would like to go on birth control, I understand that you do not want me to have s*x untill I'm 20 or married, but s*x is not the only reason to go on birth control, birth control can help with acne, pms, which I have noticed that I have had badly for at least the past six months, and justin usualy gets most of my anger,it can help with cramps, which I have also started noticing recently, but I think before I was confusing it with an upset stomach, it also can result in shorter lighter periods, (then I would pause for a min to feel the situation out) and if nessicary add: and although you may not like thinking about this justin and I will have gone out for a year next month, and I feel that we have a very strong stable relationship, and I'm not saying that at this very moment I want to have s*x but if I did decide that I wanted to have s*x, I should be protected because condoms only do so much, and even if you say no to this entire arguement I think it would be a good idea to go to a gynecologest.(sorry for the mispellings and things like that) and yes I know about planned parenthood and clinics like that but I am bad with pills and I feel that asking would make my mother trust me more (not that my parents don't already think that I am some perfect little angel), I don't like lying to them too much, and am bad at remembering to take pills so having my parents know would be helpful, so pp is only after I get a no.

Answer 1

Just tell your mom...but make sure that you get a blood test done to make sure that you don't have any genetic factors that will hamper with the birth control.  If you bring your mom with you she will know better what tests to ask for and she will also know your medical history.  So props to you for being mature and wanting to tell your mom, she will be happy with that.  But please please please get a blood test before you start on the pill.  It is for your own health and safety.

I was on the pill for awhile and the day before my 21st birthday I ended up in the hospital just hours from death.  The cause?  Due to the hormones that were released from the pill a massive blood clot formed in the main artery of my left lung, preventing any blood flow to my lungs.  I suffered a heart attack, was unable to breath on my own.  I spent a week in the hospital, and 2 weeks after that recuperating.  If I had taken a blood test before I started the pill, it might have caught something to let my gyno and I know that the pill might be too dangerous for me.

And that happened just 3 weeks ago.

Also if you do get the pill, what I did was set my cell phone alarm to ring daily at the time I was supposed to take my pill.  And I also did it at a time that I would be eating so it would register in my mind "Lunch...take the pill"  You might want to try that as well.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

what do you mean you're "bad with pills" You can't be bad with pills and have the pill be effective.

Answer 3

Honestly, you probably don't need to tell your mother at all.  Knowing my mother she would not have been receptive to that conversation.  Go to Planned Parenthood and you should be able to get on whatever kind of birth control you want without parental permission.  Call 800-230-PLAN and you should be able to find the closest clinic to you.

Answer 4

You sound very mature and that is a great argument, when you do get your birth control pills still ALWAYS use a condom because there is a lot of stuff out there that you can catch.

Answer 5

You want to go on BC for s*x, not the other things it can help. So don't try telling mom that, she won't believe you for a second and it will backfire.

Instead of lying, why don't you trying being grown up, and tell her, I've been having s*x with condoms, but I want to protect myself further, mom. If you're grown enough to risk pregnancy, you should be able to look your mom in the eye and tell her. You're a big girl, right? If you are having s*x, it means you are prepared for the possibility of a baby, all on your own, right?

She will probably be more upset that you used a much less effective method before waiting to tell her and get on safer methods than she is you're having s*x.

If you're going to have s*x, you are going to have to be mature enough to remember to take one darn pill a day. If you simply cannot remember to protect yourself, you should not be having s*x. Set the alarm on your phone if you have to.

Condoms break all the time. I recommend you stop the s*x until you are on the pill. You have to take them at least 2 weeks before they kick in. Withdrawl does not work, please don't think it does.

Even if it doesn't work out between you and bf (which the odds show you it won't), at least you waited until it meant something. Good for you!

Answer 6

Even if your mom knows that you have the pill, she will not be reminding you every day to take them around the same time. If you are bad at pills then you need to try something else. The depo shot is great for people like that. I can not keep up with pills either and my husband reminds me to take my iron and prenatal vitamin everyday. I can bet you that your mom will not remind you though, so look into getting something else. Let your doctor know that you are not a great pill taker. Use the same argument when you bring it up. also, for me the depo shot took away most of my periods and I only had light spotting every 3 months around the time I was due for another shot. You can get the shot in your arm or in your thigh, so if you are queasy about shots, you won't even need to see the needle if you ask for it to be administered in your thigh.

Good luck. And like you said, if she says no: be responsible and get it anyway from planned parenthood.  

Answer 7

Sound like you have a good head on you r shoulders. I'm sure she wil say ok.   goodluck

Answer 8

Agree with above.  Think it would be great if more 17 year olds were like you.  

Have you thought of other methods of birth control if you're not great with pills?  I would go to the doctor and ask for advice on the different methods so that you are properly informed.  Your mum should appreciate that you are being very responsible about this.

Answer 9

Wow. I am impressed. You've made your point and I think that you will definitely convince your mom with those arguments. Good Luck!

Answer 10

Check out clinics in your area to see if you can get on birthcontrol without parental consent.  If not, then you should use your argument which is good but I think you should be perfectly honest since your mom is likely going to figure out you are indeed sexually active since you are initiating the conversation and have a boyfriend.  It sounds like you are responsible and even though your mom will be upset you are having s*x at least she will come to realize you are being responsible about it and you are taking precautions not to get pregnant.