How can I convince my parents that I'm not a little kid anymore?

Question

I'm twelve, almost thirteen, and my parents treat my like I'm ten years old. I'm sick of it, my life consists of school and home. Like, I'm going into grade eight now, but last year I only saw two friends outside of school throughout the whole year, and my parents never let me go anywhere because it "wasn't safe" and they said that as soon as I was responsible enough they would let me go do more things. But they don't let me prove that I'm responsible, like, how can I prove that I'm responsible if I don't get the chance to do it?

They treat me like I'm a little kid that needs to be supervised at all times, and they don't trust me. It's really starting to bug me, and they trust my younger sister more, and they give her way more freedom.

How can tell them that I need more freedom to show them that I'm more responsible? and that I need to be out of the house and with my friends more often?

Answer 1

i know it can be hard, but how i  did it was change certain things that seem kind of immature about me. what you should do is, don't wine at all, thats a sign of immaturity. show responsibility for actions, like if you did something wrong take fault for it, take fault for all your wrong actions, thats the mature thing to do. be responsible by helping your parents around the house, and obeying them. don't fight with your parents or your sis, try to keep your calm even when your very angry. butter them up a bit, but don't make it to noticable. like offer to do dishes or something, but don't offer to do everything in the house. oh, get good grades too, that always shows that your responsible since you it reflects that you studied. it will take a month, but soon your parents might realize that you are more mature than they thought and let you go out more. hope i helped =) and good luck!

p.s: when going out, tell your parents where your going and actually go there. don't do anything bad like drinking or smoking. there are a lot of bad influences now, be careful of them.

Answer 2

Ask your parents what can you do to earn their trust, and what does your sister do differently then you (that earns her their trust)? Make sure you're calm, and not dramatic (because that would just irritate them).

As for proving yourself responsible... Do your chores WITHOUT being reminded of it, help out around if you see your mom is tired (even if it is not your turn to do those chores), do your homework without being reminded and get good grades, if you tell them you will be home by 7, be home by 6:50, etc All of those behaviors show them that you are more responsible.

I remember myself at 12, and I know it feels like you are not a kid anymore, but now I am in my 20s, and to someone 20+, 12 still seems like a kid.

Even though you may not be a "kid", but more like a teenager, at 12 years old it is still easy for a lot of people to take advantage of you, and that's why your parents are so worried.

Answer 3

I'm over 40 and my parents still think I'm a kid.... so if you get a good answer to that let me know...  

Answer 4

I'm sorry to say it but you are still a kid in there eyes and you will thank them one day when your older they know what happens to 12 year old girls who go out with friends. Try this if you wanna go out ask your Mom or Dad to come along to sometimes the reason they never let you go cause they don't trust your mates. Good Luck

Answer 5

u can volunteer by bay siting ur sister by letting ur parents have a night out so then they would trust u enough to leave u with ur friends

Answer 6

Get a job  !

Answer 7

I opened this question thinking you are like over 25 and you have that problem... I find funny you say "im 12 and they treat me like im 10", think about it for a second, its not a big difference! and You are still a kid!

Parents only mean well, and you are still a kid, plus you are a girl so they do want to protect you. You can try talk to you mom or dad (whoever you are closest to) and say exactly what you are saying now, that you'd like to go out with your friends more etc etc, but you gotta be reasonable, I mean dont ask to go to places you know yourself might not be safe. You could even tell them they could go with you... of course not with you with you, but like they could be in the same place if they want to...

You should just try to talk to your parents and be good, and ask reasonable things... thats all I can say, i wouldnt tell you to tell them to let you go out to a party til midnight or so cause your parents are right, you are still too young!

Answer 8

Theyre your parents.Obviously theyre gonna worry.Stop being so ungrateful..not many kids have parents that give a d**n about them...wait til you have kids..

Answer 9

If you want to be treated like an adult, you have to act like an adult.

That means you need to recognize your own limitations, and look at situations objectively instead of subjectively.

Yes, you may be a very responsible 12-year-old, but you are still a 12-year-old.  You are not physically capable of defending yourself in unsafe areas.  You may not be emotionally capable of resisting sublte forms of peer pressure.  You may not be mentally capable of managing conflicting time commitments.

Remember, it isn't necessarily about YOU.  It's not that your parents don't trust or respect you; it's that they have enough experience of the world to know that bad things can and do happen to even the most careful and responsible of people of any age.  They love you enough to want to protect you from those bad experiences as long as possible.  

So instead of whining "you treat me like a little kid!  it's no fair!", try making a calm and positive explanation of your requests.  Let them know this is important to you by having a formal discussion with them - discuss and set rules in place BEFORE you turn 13, instead of fighting over every rule as it comes up.  "Mom, Dad, I'd like to have a serious discussion with you about behavioral rules.  Is now a good time?  I'm turning 13 soon, and we all want me to become a mature and responsible teen and adult, right?  So I need to start practising now how to handle myself appropriately, and to do that I need you to give me opportunities to prove I'm trustworthy.  I drew up a list of rules, rights, and consequences that I think are fair.  It gives me increasing freedom as I grow older and prove myself through good behavior, and gives reasonable punishments for mistakes and bad behavior.  Let's look at these and work out some compromises."

Answer 10

Try doing things around the home without being asked.  Then after you have done this for at least a month, talk to your parents.  Ask them if they noticed how responsible you have been.  Tell them you were trying to show them that you were responsible so they would trust you more and give you more freedom.

Then see what they say.  If they say that is not enough ask them this (Do not whine just ask them calmly) "What exactly do you want to see to convince you I am responsible?  Tell them it is not fair that you cannot prove yourself because you do not know what they want.  It really is not fair but they are trying to protect you even if they are being over-protective.  Once they do give you their trust make sure that you do not give them any reason to lose that trust in you!  If something happens that is going to make you late make sure you call them immediately and tell them why you are going to be late.

Good Luck!

I hope this helps.

Answer 11

Respect and trust are earned, not given. Start earning it! Always be honest with them. Do all your homework. Do all your chores. Don't complain a lot. Start talking like an adult. Always take responsibility for your actions and mistakes. Then keep it all up permanently. It takes time, but you WILL earn their trust and respect. Then you will earn your freedom.  

Answer 12

get a job or do some volunteer work around your community or join a church group.