How can I convinced my 4 years old son to go to school?

Question

It's been 4 days now since summer classes started,I enrolled my son for a summer class in reading and writing so as to prepare him for a formal schooling this coming june.I'm hard up coz he keeps on crying inside the classroom and does'nt allow me to leave him while he sees that others are being left by their parents.

Answer 1

What kind of "formal" schooling is he getting at 4??? Seems kindof much for his age, however, you are the parent and know what's best for him.

Haveing said that...he's 4!! LOL, of COURSE he doesn't want you to leave.  Right now he's learning that he can get you to stay just by crying.  Trust me, as soon as you leave the class, he WILL stop.  And eventually, he won't even notice.

If you're getting him in school to prepare him for school, then he also needs to feel confident and secure in his environment.  Dont' prolong the goodbyes, the sooner he learns to cope, the better off he'll be (and you).

Answer 2

I'm a Pre-K teacher and most all of them cry in the beginning.  The best thing to do is drop your child off and do not coddle them.  Leave as soon as possible.  The child will cry for a little bit and then stop.  It makes it worse if you stay longer.

Answer 3

Hi there! I have seen many children who is just like ur son.. I am working as an assistant tch for almost 3 yrs now.

I would advice that u leave him as soon as u reach the class.. Hand him over to the teachers who is in charge. Do not linger around the class. I am very sure he will adapts soon.

Good luck..

Answer 4

Have you asked the teacher how he behaves after you are gone?  A lot of preschoolers exhibit this behavior, and are fine a few minutes after mommy gets in her car and drives away.

My daughter did this exact same thing, and her teacher told me that she was fine after I left.  The teacher was able to distract her, and she went on to enjoy her day.  I think we went through maybe a week of this behavior and then she settled ino the routine.

Just don't let him see that he is pushing your buttons.  Be strong and firm.  Tell him that he will have fun, you will see him when school is done, kiss him goodbye, and then do your crying in the car!

Answer 5

Just tell him that the teachers are all armed to the teeth and drive tanks to and from school so they wont let any crazy gunmen get in and run amok

Answer 6

give him an *** wooping and tell him everyday he doesnt go to school to expect another *** wooping!!! Trust me he'll be sure to go everyday

Answer 7

with time this will go away let him brign something to class let him pick it out and take it with him sorta like a security blankets also make sure there is no reason for him to be scared

Answer 8

I'm sorry but who did you say was in charge??

Answer 9

You need to talk to your child's teacher and ask him how he does after you leave. If he's fine after you leave then all you really need to do is have the teacher take him and distract him while you turn around and leave so that by the time he looks up to try to find you, you will be gone. If he's not okay and keeps on crying for a long time afterward, I would go and take him to his pediatrecian and have him/her check him out and give you their professional opinion. You also need to reassure him right before you drop him off and let him know that he will be fine. It is really hard for him to be byhimself because he's used to being with his mommy. But at the same time you also need to be a little firm with him. In any event, he'll be fine, he just needs time to adjust to a new environment but once he settles in I'm sure he'll be okay. Good Luck.

Answer 10

4 years old and worried already!  I am constantly amazed at how we push our children earlier and earlier.  I have 3 sons.  I had them in pre-school at age 4.  Summer school for a 4 year old>  I would consider looking into a preschool for him and work on that.  If you cannot get a 4 year old to listen to you now, I really wonder how well you will do with him down the road when he is older.  By the way, why are you giving a 4 year old a choice?  he hasn't been on earth long enough to know how to make a choice about something as important as education.  My small kids are given choices on minor things but when it comes to bigger things they get no chance to choose.

Answer 11

I know how you feel. My son cried and I had trouble bringing him to preschool. He still gives me a hard time but once I leave him, the teachers always say he was fine. If there any problems they will give you a call. It does break my heart though knowing that he is hurting and doesn't want me to leave but I just have to. Your son will get used to it. It is just going to take some time. When people say "who is the parent and act like one", you are acting like a parent. That is why you are getting upset and some parents don't understand that. Maybe they just never had to leave a crying child!! Everyone handles it differently and try not getting upset. You can always tell him you will be right outside if he needs you. If he does and you get a call from the school, hurry your butt up there! Good luck!

Answer 12

In my opinion separation anxiety can come from the child sensing that the PARENT is anxious about leaving the child at school. 4 is young. Perhaps neither of you are ready for this milestone.

Separation Anxiety Screening Test:

http://panicdisorder.about.com/library/q...

What You May Be Feeling

During this stage, you're likely to experience a host of different emotions. It may be gratifying to feel that your child is finally as attached to you as you are to him or her. At the same time, you're likely to feel guilty about taking time out for yourself, leaving your child with a caregiver, or going to work. And you may start to feel overwhelmed by the amount of attention your child seems to need from you.

Try to keep in mind that your child's unwillingness to leave you is a good sign that healthy attachments have developed between the two of you. Eventually your child will be able to remember that you always return after you leave, and these memories will be enough to comfort him or her while you are gone. This also gives your child a chance to develop his or her own coping skills and a little independence.

Making Goodbyes Easier

There are a number of strategies you can use to help ease your child (and yourself) through this difficult period.

Timing is everything. Try not to start day care or child care with an unfamiliar person between the ages of 8 months and 1 year, when separation anxiety is first likely to present itself. Also, try not to leave your child when he or she is likely to be tired, hungry, or restless. If at all possible, schedule your departures for after naps and mealtimes.

Practice. Practice being apart from each other, and introduce new people and places gradually. If you're planning to leave your child with a relative or a new babysitter, then invite that person over in advance so they can spend time together while you're in the room. If your child is starting at a new day care center or preschool, make a few visits there together before a full-time schedule begins. Practice leaving your child with a caregiver for short periods of time so that he or she can get used to being away from you.

Be calm and consistent. Create a goodbye ritual during which you say a pleasant, loving, and firm goodbye. Stay calm and show confidence in your child. Reassure him or her that you'll be back - and explain how long it will be until you return using concepts your child will understand (such as after lunch) because your child can't yet understand time. Give him or her your full attention when you say goodbye, and when you say you're leaving, mean it; coming back will only make things worse.

Follow through on promises. It's important to make sure that you return when you have promised to return. This is critical, and there can be no exceptions. This is the only way your child will develop the confidence that he or she can make it through this time.

Answer 13

you don't convince him at all.. eventually he'll get over it..

he's four

your the parent.. start acting like one

Answer 14

you can cheer them on and encourage them to do good and tell them about when you first went to school that's what my mom did and school was a sucess

Answer 15

ok...

i agree with some of the other answers, you are the parent, so he doesn't have a choice.

try reinforcing that he is a big boy now and big boys go to school.   I would also suggest making sure there is something he can do when he first gets there that he likes (remember that we all need incentives, we don't do things for nothing, why do we go to work?...$$)  Also find out how is behaving once you have left, as it is likely that once you have gone he is settling.  If he is ok after 5-10 mins that's great, but if it is longer and the teacher can't get him to settle he might actually be distressed.  Either way in time he Will get over it and trust that you will be there when he finishes.  It might also be a good idea to give him some positive reinforcement or reward at the end of the day or even give him something to look forward to e.g after school we will go swimming or you can get an ice cream, keep the incentive!

Also play dates with some of his friends could be a good idea, you will also get to know the other parents too :)

Good luck, I'm sure things will get better!! Good luck

Answer 16

If I may be blunt; it's not his job to decide.  It's yours.  I know it's hard to see him crying & want to be with you when he should be in school, but you cannot let him decide with tears because if you do, he'll know exactly what he'll have to do to get what he wants.  Ask yourself if you're letting him get away with it for him or for you.  If it's hurting you to say goodbye & see him cry, then taking him home is for your comfort, not his & won't do him any good in the long run.  Talk to his teacher.  I'm sure this won't be the first time she'll have dealt with this situation. Ask her how she handles crying children & how other parents have handled it before.  making excuses like, "he's 4" won't do because though he's 4, it's your job to show him how to grow up.

Answer 17

Yes, it's hard for kids to have a liking towards schooling at the beginning, but be sure they will get  used to being left by their parents.Try to talk to the teachers there.You may suggest to them that they should have some sweets , toys or chocolate to give the kids from time to time  , to smile to them ,and  to organize games for them .Thus the children will become eager to go to school.

Good luck

Answer 18

Pay attention to his ques.  You need to ask yourself if he is crying because he is being mistreated or because he is not ready for a structured summer program, or perhaps some other reason.  Please do not bribe him or promise him presents.  You will set yourself and him up for something that you cannot continue.  Try to find out what he is thinking.  Then drop hiim off and leave immediately.  You can call during the day to see how he is doing.  If his crying persists throughout the day and when you return, he is still unhappy.  Think long and hard before you take him back.  Use play to get him to talk to you about his thoughts.  You can use his toy soldiers and make them pretend to go to school.  Pretend one does not want to go, then encourage conversation through that using the soldiers as the characters in the story.

Hope this helps.

Answer 19

Different folks different strokes. Your son may not be ready for school yet. Remember he is 4 yo. Do you recall when you were 4? Or were you just groovin when you were that age. We all try to start them younger and younger. Some say we should read to them while in the womb. Where does it stop? Just be patient with him. If you really want him to get used to preschool, then you must have the time to stay with him, to reinforce him by just being there. Only time and getting used to his teacher and new friends will stop him from crying. But don't baby him. Talk positive to him after school of how it was a wonderful place and lots of friends and toys.