How can I cope with a husband who constantly forgets stuff? Losses things? ?

Question

My husband has MS. It causes memory issues and some days are better than others.

I am soo soo annoyed. My spouse insistes on doing things, recently he lost a family kitchen heirloom while we were entertaining and Opps.. I just don't know where it is. We hosted a bbq in our club house in our complex. I was down there yesterday and found another kitchen item just "left behind".

He often misplaces things, forgets where his keys are and can't seem to get a routine in place for leaving things in certain places....

I am not wanting to police things... it's a stress. He acts carefree about loosing family herilooms... this si just driving me crazy !! what can I do to cope?

Answer 1

Is MS is the cause, I don't see a remedy for his action.  Don't get frustrated.  If you are having another bbq, explain to your friend that you need help to make sure everything makes it back home ok.  If she's a great friend, she won't mind.

Answer 2

It's very exhausting to be a caregiver.  To some extent, you are his mind for now.  If you can afford to, hire someone part-time to take the load off occasionally.  In the meantime, go to Empowering Care Givers site.  They were the best and helped me while I took care of my ill father.  

Answer 3

That does sound frustrating. Do you think maybe he's acting like he doesn't care because he doesn't want to admit it stresses him out too?

I have ADD and lose things a lot and my bf bought me a keyfinder thing from Brookstone. It has 2 keyrings and 2 more plastic things you can stick on things ( i put one on the remote). Then you press one of the four buttons and it beeps.

I know this is just one small part of the problem, but having add, I know that some of my habits annoy people so maybe you can help him put some memory aids into place to help him and you.  

Answer 4

Is his doctor or nurse reasonable to talk with about what is a medical issue and what is his dependence on you?  That may be a place to start. Then make a plan for how you will handle this.  If it is just him being dependent on you...I'd use some organizational tools.  Example: place to hang the key by the door.  If he chooses not to use this and it is not a medical issue.  I'd not get involved.  If it is really a medical issue...I'd be supportive and help him

Answer 5

Start a support group or join one. Also, seek counseling!

Answer 6

STOP ASKING HIM NOT TO FORGET THINGS AND U REMEMBER YOUR VOWS THROUGH SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH.  IT DOESNT SEEM LIKE HES HIDING THINGS ON PURPOSE.

Answer 7

is that the worst things he does. get over it. hes not cheating on you or doing drugs. look at the bigger pic.

Answer 8

i don't know if you're serious..

your husband is suffering from a progressively debilitating disease - he's not doing these things on purpose! he didn't chose to get MS.

i imagine if you had MS, you might understand.

also, although heirlooms have sentimental value, maybe it would help you to cope if you thought of them as just material possessions. they're not something as lasting as love and compassion for others.

or maybe you should just store them away for now.

i'm sure, in the meantime, there are support groups that can really help - they could tell you what to expect and teach you different tools for dealing with the memory loss.