How can I discipline my pregnant teenage daughter?

Question

My daughter is 17 years old and when it comes to rules of my home and seeing her baby's father I really dont know how to discipline her. All my rules went out of the window. I dont want to say you cant see him or go over there , then she will think i am trying to keep her away from him and im not. I just want her to respect me and understand she is still only 17 years old. I am just hoping with each day it will get better and he will not even be in the picture anymore and she can get on with her life and deal with being pregnant. They think that they are married and can do whatever but thats not the case. Please tell me how i can solve this problem.

Answer 1

Talk to her and tell her that you need her to behave appropriatly.

Answer 2

if she's disrespecting you at the age of 17 its hard to change or will take time because her mind is set. if i were you i would tell her if she can't give me repect i'm not going to deal with it anymore and to get on.

Answer 3

Just let her know that she is still your daughter and that you are in charge. If she wants to live in your house... it's all you momma

Answer 4

1. At 17 she is still a minor and you still have to enforce the rules so you better open the window and bring them back in. If she is pregnant this is a crucial time to give her a strong basis of how to care for her child.

2. You don't have to say that she can not see him but you should restrict her from going over there. Tell her that he may visit in your home.

3. It is fine to hope but what if he is still in the picture? You need to plan for that and be prepared for that.

Answer 5

I actually think you should be closer to letting her go. After all she will be a mother. Let her make some of her own decisions. You can set down house rules about letting you know where she is and what she is doing but quite honestly if she and the father are going to raise the child together they need time to talk and sort out their lives.  

Your task now is to love her and be there for her. Disapproving of the babydaddy now will drive them closer. She can live her life and deal with being pregnant now. She ought to have a plan with him for coparenting with him.

Answer 6

if she wants to see him, have him come over to your house, while you're home. give them a little privacy, but at least you'll be there. wait, ARE they married?

Answer 7

As her mother, you certainly have a right to set rules and expect them to be obeyed.

However, when putting those rules together, you need to keep in mind that her boyfriend is not just a boyfriend anymore.....he is the father of her child, and the father of your grandchild.  The fact that he is still in the picture is a GOOD thing.    He SHOULD rise to the occasion and begin to play an active role immediately in support of your daughter.  

Your best bet would be to invite him to your house, and for you to spend some time together with the two of them, helping to guide them in the right direction.  You want them to finish their education so that they can become gainfully employed and take full responsibility for raising their child.   Don't necessarily "hover" over them, but when they are together at your house, let them know that you will support them, so that they can continue on with school.  Help them come up with plans for child care and making some money.   Obviously it's not a great thing when teens become parents, but it's been happening since the dawn of time, and with the right support and guidance from the adults in their lives, it can have a positive outcome in the end.

Answer 8

To be honest with you, I feel that you should let her know that if she can't respect your house then she needs to get out!  It doesn't get any more clear than that.

Answer 9

well if she wants to act married then take her to the courthouse with the boy and let them get married then show them the door and let them experience the real world. if you dont want to kick her out pregnant then show her a bill every month fo rthe internet cable, rent, electricity, and such....she will get the hint, and tell her the rent will go up and so will all the bills when the baby is due. thats what my mommy did. however i was an adult when i moved back in pregnant. i had a job and my mom go tall my child support becasue she was providing a house for us....

i now live on my own with a 3 year old and i thank my mommy fo rteaching me about life.

i was required to make dinner everynight i wasnt at work, i did my own laundary and kylies. i even did moms when hers was getting overwhelming. i washed dishes and i did hosue work.

Answer 10

You can't. You are operating on the basis of her being a child when in actuality soon she will be an adult and can (and will) do what she wants to do. If you keep them apart it will drive her closer to him.

My advice is to make the boy your son -treat him like a son and soon ( if their love is not real) she will stop being so interested in him. But if their love is real you will do no harm to her - and your relationship will stay intact.

So you are hoping the boy will go away but that most likely will not happen as the grandchild she is expecting is this boys child and he will have rights. I personally dont understand why you would want your grandchild to not have any contact with his/her father. That is not good for your grandchild - children do need their fathers.

Answer 11

Woww. What is wrong with you? She is already pregnant. There is nothing you can do to change that. There is no reason to punish her. Im sure she has already suffered enough with the pressure of being pregnant. Now all she needs is support from not only you but the FATHER of the baby...what are you thinking trying to not let her see him. That's wayyyy messed up. It HIS child just as much as it is your daughters and he has every right to be there for her. Maybe its time to let go and stop worring so much about her. She is soon to have her own life with her own family. And from you acting the way you are towards her and her boyfriend is only going to make her more distant from you. When a parent tells a child not to do something as pointless and stupid as not seeing the father of her child its only going to make her want to do it more. And why in hel* would you say you hope that the father is not in the picture.?! HELLO your lucky he is. Most guys would run from a problem like this instead of staying and helping and loving your daughter and their new baby. I think you have somethings to think about and I hope you start to see things straight before your daughter can't handle your stupid sh*t anymore. I feel for your daughter and she is lucky to have someone who loves her like her HUSBAND does as well as the new addition to THEIR family. But not so much for having a phsyco mother like you. And I hope that one day she is a far better mother than you.

Answer 12

hi although my daughter is not pregnant and is only 15 i still understand what you are going through.

my daughter is a rebellious one and telling her not to do something ive learned is not going to stop her, in fact it drives her to do it more.

lets face it although they are our children and should listen to us they are also human and what human wants to be told what to do all the time?

let her figure things out on her own. teling her what to do might drive her to do worse things like move in with the father and could potentially ruin your relationship as mother and daughter(or what you may have left off it). she will only think you are treating her like a little kid and will rebel like my daughter has started doing so.

p.s. my daughter i looking into being adopted by her friends mother... hold on to yours while you still have her.

Answer 13

She's already pregnant so what is there really to worry about? it's not like she can get MORE pregnant.

As soon as your daughter got pregnant she got handed the responsibilities of adulthood.

Maybe you should show her respect and be copesetic with the situation, she's dealing with a lot right now.

Answer 14

If she lives under your roof she needs to obey the rules.  Tell her to live somewhere else if she can't.  She is young and thinks she is in love and to her that's all that matters. I hate to say this, but if the boy is the daddy, he will never be out of the picture, which sucks.  I'm sorry you are going through this.

Answer 15

Mom in you says to help but you need to put the mom aside and let the child turn into an adault. She is of age to handle it herself and if she needs help, guide her but do not try to do it for here. She will learn very fast when the baby is crying and its 2:30 in the morning, then at 3:30 the baby is crying again and then at 4:30 the baby is crying again and then she has to get up and get ready for school.

Let her walk so that she can learn, if she ask for help guide her but do not step in and do it for her.

Keep the father in the picture as he is going to have to step up and help your daughter. If you fail to let them walk then you will be the one trying to do everything ie being a mommy of which will only back fire on you when you get mad and threw everything back at your daughter.  It high time you make your child learn instead of doing it for them, even if it means doing it the hard way!

Answer 16

Really simple solution, she either follows your rules or she gets the h*ll out. She is pregnant, you know the child's father, why isn't he taking care of his responsibility? She should be with him tormenting his parents not you.You need to be her parent, you're trying to hard to be her best friend. A parent need to exercise tough love. You are afraid if pissing her off. p**s her off, if she doesn't like your rules, kick her out. You stopped owing her a living when she opened her poontang to this guy and got pregnant. She and the unborn child are his responsibility not yours.

I cannot believe you're allowing this kids to come over to your house to continue s******g your daughter simply because she's already pregnant. They are using your home for a cat house and you as the Madam.

Be an adult, Be her parent.

Answer 17

Well, I'd say your about 17 years too late.

Otherwise, if she can't comply with your house rules and show some respect, let her know the door is open and she's more than welcome to try it on her own.

Answer 18

don't let this be a lesson to her she has made a wrong decision and needs to cope with it all you need to do is sit back and be the most caring mum/dad and nanny/poppa or grandma/grandad

Answer 19

I'd start by duct taping her legs shut.

Answer 20

let her see him. whats the big deal, if theyre in love?

Answer 21

Well that depends. Were these the same/similar rules that you had before she got pregnant? If so, just tell her that just because she is knocked up doesn't mean anything has changed. She is still a teeenager and you are still her parent. You will have to use some tough love and actually follow through with disciplinary measures, such as not being allowed to see him, etc.

If you are trying to keep her away from him because deep down you don't want him in the picture anymore, don't. That is a bit childish. Perhaps he is a lazy, good-for-nothing slob or just some dumb teen, or even an overall dumba$$, but parenthood and adulthood change people. He might not always be like that.

If you still think it is wrong for him to be in the picture, and you don't want your daughter around him, encourage her to hang out with other friends.

If worse comes to worse you can tell her she cannot go over there, but maybe you would consider letting him come over to your house, and then set a time that he has to go home by (like 11 pm). That way you will be around, you daughter will still be able to see him, and he might start making a better impression on you.

Answer 22

Having the baby will be punishment enough.

Especially now, you cant keep her away from that boy.

Its her baby's father.

Answer 23

well you should let her see the babies father they might be living together soon anyways.