How can I end this? ?

Question

okay so my dad is this control freak who won't let me do anything.

our family owns one car, dont ask what happened to the other... and he uses it all the time. so i'm usually just stuck @ home unless i can go to the mall with my friends. he takes money from my mom..she works for it... and uses it to buy clothes and alcohol for himself. we've told him that the things he's doing is wrong, yet he still continues to do them.

whenever i try to talk to him, he doesn't take me seriously. he orders me around to do things all the time, sometimes i don't get time for myself. he never really says nice things to me, either.

i've talked to my mom about divorcing him, but i dont' think she wants to because he doesn't have any money except for the stuff he gets from my mom and it would put all of us in an extremley hard position. my brother and i both want them to divorce. they are always fighting and when they talk to us, they say mean things about eachother.

my dad doesn't sleep with my mom, he hasn't for like 7 years now..in fact he kinda refuses to.

since he is given all the money, he is supposed to buy food for the family, but he buys very little so sometimes i have a peice of toast for dinner.

He's made me so upset about myself that i started cutting. it got so addictive. i HAVE tried to stop, i just cant.

*sigh* sorry about that i really needed to get it out...

please help me with what to do ??

thanks :)

Answer 1

Oh this is kind of upsetting :/

I have a stepdad (becuase my dad died) this dumbass pushes me around to make me do everything now I stay with my bestfriend

For

4 days a week becuase I cannot stand him

I once ran away not to mention stole $450 dollars off of him

He's also a alcoholic aswell, he use to tell me to get everything for him

But now I either just swear at him

And I hate my mum so much that I never bother to even waste my time

Talking to her or looking at her.

But I've got my own money from modeling and me my brother

Sometimes stay at the local hotel from us but that's if things get bad.

So try and get some of your own money and

Stay at a fronds house for as longbas possible

Or get away from them

Or even run away with your mom and brouer

Hope this helps

Fx

  

Answer 2

I'm sorry you have to go through this...you sound like me...I had a somewhat similar experience with my father but I ran away...I suggest you keep your head up and stop cutting yourself, in the end it doesn't help. Talk with your mom and how much this situation is bothering you and that you can't bear these living arrangements anymore. Can you go live with someone else like your grandma or a Aunt. This is really unhealthy for you. I don't know how old you are, but you can look in getting emancipated to. Just remember to be strong and you will be able to get through this!  

Answer 3

there is someone You cud live with..

idk how we'll make it out tho

Answer 4

1st...you need to talk to your mother about the cutting. She needs to see how bad this situation is and how your father''s behavior is effecting you.

2nd...do you have an adult you can talk to that you trust? Grandparents? Aunt/uncle? Maybe you can stay somewhere else for a while.

Your mother seems to have very low self esteem to put up with what your father is like. Until she gets therapy and cuts him off from getting money and finally throws him out...there isn't much you can do. She needs to wake up and realize that it is hurting her children in a VERY bad way and damaging you guys........if she can't see that then she is just as selfish as you father. Because the kids come before a complete loser like him....and I really believe you guys are in danger from his behavior.

3rd....You also need to get some therapy for all of this. Other wise you will also end up repeating your mother's mistakes.....and your father is definitly a HUGE mistake she is making in staying with him.

  She can prove he is an unfit parent...easily from what you have mentioned and most likely will get full custody in a divorce. He would have to pay child support and get a job. If your mother thinks she would have to pay him money....she is DEAD wrong. She needs to open up a bank account with out him knowing and start putting money away to get you guys out of this situation and divorce him before things get any worse...because they  will.

Answer 5

ok it sounds like you need consuling for one to many reasons. Does your mom know that you are cutting yourself because of all the stress you are under? I think that if she doesn't then she needs to be told cause what you parents are doing to you is not healthy at all. Fighting is one thing but for the two of them putting you in the middle like that is not right. The next time your mom or dad tries to explain something about t here relationship just look at them and say " hey I am you child and I don't think that I am the right person for you to be talking to about your personal relationship with my other parent cause I am not old enough for this conversation nor is it any of my busniess" if you tell them that maybe it will help them step back into reality th at you are there child and they should not behave like that infront of you. Sometimes parents get wraped up into there own drama and forget that they have a child and somehings are not right for you to have to deal with. just keep you head up, things will get better. Pretty soon you will be out on your own and will not have to deal with it anymore! Call a crisis center and ask them to send you a family consulor and maybe then you parents will grow up alittle and reconize what they are doing to you good luck if you need someone to talk to you can email me at [e-mail]

Answer 6

Okay well honestly sweetie, this is situation that you have been given and until your old enough to move out and live your own life, you are going to have to stick this one out. Trust me it will get better. As for now, well i can tell your a strong girl, you know how things are and you know its not your fault. Most kids tend to think its their own fault as to why their parents fight. Im glad you know your dad is just an a***. But you cant keep hurting yourself. That is not right at all. Hurting yourself is for weak people, people who feel sorry for themselves and you are none of those. Instead work harder in school, surround yourself with good friends, try your best to enjoy what you have even if it isnt much because trust me there are alot of people who have it ten times worse. it'll be okay dont worry

Answer 7

Do something productive, hurting yourself because he hurts you is ridiculous.

There is more to life then your parents and immediate family. Go out and volunteer somewhere or something. Get out of your house --> Become something greater then your parents situation.

Answer 8

maybe your mum has just got used to this situation maybe she just does not think alot of herself and thinks she can do no better.  who knows what her past was like that she would choose such a man.

you cannot change other people you can have control over your future so that you do not choose someone like it as well.

this is their problem not yours but you are involved so it affects you.

dont cut yourself i know you are hurt and want someone to listen speak to a counsellor a helpline so the cycle is not repeated in your life and so you can offload to make you think and feel better cos your taking things out on yourself by hurting yourself your angry and turning it inwards.

you do not have a good father he needs to go to parenting classess in the long run he will be the loser cos he will lose respect and good relationship with you as you get older and maybe your mum who is a weak person she needs to grow stronger but some people dont seek help but their is better for you.  you have to think about your life your future and what you want and do the best for you get good grades at school and good job so you can get out of this situation and have more security and happiness in the future and talk to someone cos your hurt and need a good counsellor to offload to so you can see things clearly and be more in control.

we cannot change other people only ourself I learnt that years back when i had a drunk as a husband i kept thinking he would change but never did so kicked him out what a relief.

turn to god and read the bible for direction put all your worries and cares to him cos he will help and concentrate on getting support it is their your parents carn,t give it cos they have problems other people will. love and bless you you are precious believe it.

Answer 9

Cutting is the hip thing to do when you are bored isnt it?

Answer 10

I've seen similar predicaments but not so much to the level of yours.

The only thing you can do is grow up and move out.

It's the sad truth.

Or you could try to run away but you might just end up on the streets.

Answer 11

Hard to give good advice, too much I don't know.

Basic answer, get out of the house and on your own.

You mother doesn't sound motivated to change or leave, and your father won't either.

But then I don't know how old you are and what your situation is.  You must be at least 16, since you imply you could drive if the car were available to you.

Do you have any relatives or friends you can live with? What's wrong with Washington--I'd love to live there!  If you can't move now, start planning it.  Get a job if and when you can, save your money.  Be careful that your Dad doesn't get access to it.

Get some counseling soon to help with the cutting and other issues.  Find a way.  See about free or nearly free counseling from your county government or other social agency.

Answer 12

i've been in that situation before, but to result to cutting is overly-dramatic. the simple thing to do in this situation is tell your mom that a divorce would get happiness into the picture. even though she refuses to divorce your father it's probably because she's afraid of what he'll do, but i don't know because i'm not you. you have to make a decision to stay in your house or get out of it. you could do anything possible. you could get away from your family and live with another family member if your mom would be okay with that, and you can take your brother if he wants to go. i really can't tell you what to do only you can tell yourself what to do.