How can I escape from a situation which I do not want to be in anymore?

Question

I am on a trip around Australia with a friend which is supposed to be for a year and although I absolutely enjoyed the first 6-7 months of the trip I no longer feel like I am enjoying myself. The lightness and fun seems to have gone out of the trip and it just feels heavy.

I yearn for home, for the solidity of a job, to see my friends and family. I yearn for normality. As bizarre as it sounds, these are the things I was trying to escape from on this trip.

The problem is that this trip was MY idea and my friend does not want to go home at all. He would stay for 2 years if he could! To suggest and initiate the trip committing to a year and then just suddenly leave half way through seems cold, like I am leaving him in the lurch. I also do not want to lose him as a friend and I have no real reason for wanting to leave, just that my heart is not in it anymore.

How do I approach this? How can I go home without disappointing my friend as I am starting to feel trapped?

Answer 1

Well out of respect for your friend, you kinda have to stay for a year. Unlucky

Answer 2

The obvious answer is to just tell him how you feel and then see what the two of you can do from there.

Another way you could try is to talk to him and then tell how much you value him and that you don't want to leave him in the lurch.  Then suggest that you are therefore going to give it another 2 months and if you still feel the same way then you're going to make your way home.

This way it shows you care, it gives him some time to prepare, it will make you feel like you have been fair and it also gives you a chance to end your time properly rather than just jumping on a plane.

If he is a true friend he will absolutely understand.  But I would give him lots of notice which might mean giving a little bit more time to your trip.

Let me tell you........ there will be plenty of time for jobs, rent, friends and normality when you get back!!!

best of luck

Answer 3

Tell them that you feel that you need to go back and that it's not for you anymore.

Answer 4

why don't you get a job over there for the remainder of your time.

what area are you in?

do you have a work visa?

at least you will feel more settled working, you won't be letting your friend down and you can earn a few bob and make more friends all at the same time.

just a thought

Answer 5

You sound very fickle. You got your friend into this now you've got to see through your end of the bargain. It'll probably do you good to see something through.

I don't really like people like you describe. Have you ever heard of loyalty, duty and honour?

Answer 6

You could find a place that you enjoyed being in Australia, get a wee crappy job there and maybe you'd enjoy it a bit more?

Answer 7

Talk to your friend, he should understand.

You're homesick, simple as that. Tell him what you said here about "I yearn for home, for the solidity of a job, to see my friends and family. I yearn for normality."

If your friend doesn't understand it, then (not trying to be harsh) what kind of friend is he?

He might feel as though you let him down a bit, but 7 months is quite a long time...

Good luck!

Answer 8

You need to compromise, tell him "I want to go but because I appreciate our friendship, I will stay 3 more months so you can make it 9 months."

Don't stay longer than 3 months and try to shoot for 2 months. There is no need to negotiate with him, he has to take it or you just leave. You have to be strong on the kind of deal you can offer him. I hope he understands and 3 months is already a long time.  

Answer 9

well discuss it and tell him it was only for a year and you've learned its not your scene. see if he seriously wants to stay for more than a year if not plan on rounding up the trip, but make sure what ever his decisions are they are not reflected on yours. tell him clearly that you don't want to spoil his plans and that he must do whatever he wishes and not to do something he doesn't want to just for you. what you don't want to hear down the line is that you messed up his life.

Answer 10

Homesickness can be tough, but I think you should reconsider, not for your friend, but for yourself.

I do think it is important to honor your commitments, if you say you will do something, and you commit another to it, it is your responsibility to follow through as best you can.

I think you should see this through for a few reasons.

1. Commitment to you agreement

2. It is a chance to grow, and learn that you can never get back.

3. When you do return home to the job you crave, you will find yourself feeling quite grateful for your time spent as a vagabond, try to appreciate it once more before it is gone.

Perhaps you need to expand your travels. Maybe you can convince your friend to go to New Zealand for a bit. Or perhaps you would be more interested in going North to Asia. It may be that you just need to get around Australia a bit more, or perhaps there is an activity that you have yet to discover that would bring back the entertainment value for you.

Look, if you are like most of us, this is a once in a lifetime experience. Being homesick is no joke, but it does pass, and when you do go home you will simply appreciate all you have that much more. I urge you to reconsider coming home, and finding a way to bring back the joy in your journey instead.

Incidentally, I do not believe you are responsible for your friend. If you do decide to go home, then as long as it does not force him to leave as well because of finances or something, you should not feel obligated. Obviously you are both adults and should be responsible for yourselves. Whenever an adult goes somewhere with another adult, it is their own responsibility to make sure they will be okay if the relationship is terminated for some reason.