How can I explain?

Question

to my neighbor's child that we don't have the same faith that he does? My family is Pagan, not Christian. The little boy across the street who goes to kindergarten with and plays with my youngest is Italian Catholic. He is a sweet boy and a great friend/playmate for my daughter. However ever since my husband passed he has been telling my daughter what happens to the dead if they are not Christians/Catholic. He has told her that her father is in Purgatory which according to him is more horrible than h**l and that he will never leave purgatory because he is not a Christian.

I have spoken to his parents about this and all they tell me is for ME to expalin to hm that that isn't what we believe in our home. I have tried but he continues and it sometimes upsets my daughter as well as confuses her. Should I invite he and his family to a Pagan rite in order to hopefully gain his understanding. Keep in mind he is only 5.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry this is happening to your family.

First and foremost, it is NOT your responsibility to teach the boy good manners.  His parents are shirking their responsibility.

Secondly, teach your daughter that she is going to hear things that go against her beliefs, and sometimes they will be hurtful.  Therefore, it is vitally important that she be able to say, "That was a hurtful thing to say.  Stop it now or we cannot be friends."

Finally, go to the parents (not the boy, who is a victim of their prejudice) and tell them that, although you respect their beliefs, you do not allow any form of hurtful speech directed at your child.  If they cannot help their son learn to keep his beliefs out of the friendship, the friendship will have to end.

Truthfully, I feel sorry for the boy.  Your daughter will be fine.

Be well.

Answer 2

Look, sit down with your daughter and tell her that diffrent people belive diffrent things and thats okay to beleive diffrent things, but our family beleves that... (tell her what you beleive) and just tel her to tell her friend that she can beleive that but she doesn't.

Answer 3

Get off the d**n computer and bring her to your priest if your so concerned.

Answer 4

Oh, you're a pagan..that explains why you're so rude.

Answer 5

Go up to that boy and tell him to shut it!

Answer 6

I'm not Pagan, but I sure wouldn't appreciate anyone telling my child that her Daddy is in Purgatory because he's not Catholic.

You say that he has been a great friend and playmate for your little girl, but it sounds like those days are gone.  This little guy is what is commonly known as a bigot.  He has no tolerance for anyone who doesn't think like he does.

And as for inviting them to one of your ceremonies, I wouldn't waste my time.  This is a classic case of "the apple not rolling far from the tree".  He learned this hateful way of thinking from them, and that's why they aren't worried about how he's talking to your daughter.

Kick this narrow-minded little bigot to the curb, and help your daughter find someone who just wants to play Barbies and ride bikes and have a sleepover.

Answer 7

If hes only five he wont understand for quite sometime. Purgatory isnt real.

so tell your daughter not to worry...

Tell the little boy to stop talking about it or to go home..

Answer 8

This is tough, and has to be handled with intelligence... so I'd do an invocation of Thoth (or Hermes, or even Oghma) for ideas. Depending on the many variables that go into this, and the psyches of those involved (your child, their friend, their friend's parents, you) this can be handled in many different ways to success or failure. Good luck.

Answer 9

My condolences on the passing of your husband.

As is common with those in the Catholic faith (or any other organized religion), the little boy is simply repeating what has been drilled into his head by his parents, teachers, and pastors (priests).  At 5 years old, he is not trying to scare your daughter intentionally.

The concept of Purgatory is specific to Roman Catholic tradition, and is not shared by Christians in general.  Catholics believe that when a person dies, that person's soul goes to a state of "limbo" until he can atone for his earthly sins, primarily through God's grace and the prayers of the living.  Purgatory is not considered to be worse than h**l, because a person's soul can enter Heaven from Purgatory, but if a soul goes to h**l then the punishment is eternal.  A good Catholic would pray for your husband--regardless of his faith--so that his soul can enter Heaven.

If I were in your situation, what I would do is simply talk to the little boy (with your daughter present), and tell him, "You know what, Johnny? Our family isn't Catholic like yours, and so we don't believe there is a place called Purgatory. But if you believe in Purgatory, can you please say a prayer for Sally's father when you get home, so he can go to Heaven?" Obviously, you are not going to change the way the boy or his family thinks, so just speak to him in terms he understands. And then immediately afterwards, away from the boy, reiterate to your daughter that her father isn't going to go to Purgatory, because that's not what you believe in, and explain to her again your personal beliefs.

Answer 10

explain that different people believe different things. It is unlikely that your christian friends will want to come to a pagan rite but you can only ask.

Bear in mind that children this age are not morally developed fully and she is seeking answers that will differ depending on the view point of the answerer. Have faith that she will be able to understand that people believe different things and everyone has that right. You could ask your neighbours to be a little more understnding hough when it comes to filling a child's head with scary thoughts and ask them to put forward thier opininions in a child friendly way or not at all.