How can I feel better about not inviting my favorite second cousins to my wedding?

Question

After much debate, my family and I decided that I cannot invite only a few second cousins without inviting them all, or at least not without inviting all of those within certain branches of the family. I've crunched the numbers, and I just don't have the slots, unless I remove the majority of my friends (who have already been told they are invited) and make it a family-only event (on my side - my fiance is doing his in his own way). I am going to see my favorite second cousin in a couple of months. I am not going to know what to say to her about my wedding. I certainly cannot say, "I had a slot for you, and even one for your sister, but not for all of my other second cousins, so I cannot invite you." I plan to just say, "It will be a really small wedding," and leave it at that, but I still feel bad.

It's too late to go back and rebudget for vastly more people. Yes, this might have been best, but the venue is booked and my fiance and I have agreed on the plan. To change it now just wouldn't work.

What do I say to my cousin?

Answer 1

Exactly what you have said...  "it will be a really small wedding, so as much as I would love to invite you, unfortunately we cannot."

Answer 2

just say I did not have room to have a lot of people and I did not know if you would make it so that's why I did not invit you to my wedding and I'm sorry I did not.

Answer 3

You dont have to invite all your second cousins. your family is wrong. You can invite anyone you want and then if anyone asks, "Tight budget, I could only invite a few of my closest friends".. so she's family, regardless, this one seems to also be a friend you want to invite. Do it..besides, you will be lucky for 2/3rds of your guests to show up.

Answer 4

First thing realize that you will not be able to please everyone.  This is your day and you need to relax and enjoy the planning and of course the wedding day.  Just let them know that you only have so much money and can only invite the people you see more often.  Everyone knows that budgeting is really hard and I think they will understand.  If your 5th cousin (or whoever it is) wonders why they are not invited or you hear that they are wondering why from someone else, just say "When was the last time you saw them".