How can I feel less sad and frustrated about my internship?

Question

I am finishing my M.S. degree in nutrition and recently started a hospital internship in June that will be done in January. I work 40 hours minimum a week.

Now, I have come across a new challenge that is nothing like I have ever encountered before. You see I got straight A's all of last year.The site director at my hospital said recently that she is getting mixed messages from me i.e sometimes I go beyond what she expects and other times I seem to not understand what she expects of me. She said she does not know how to help me b/c she doesn't know what I need. I e-mailed my program director to see if she could advise me.

At work, I've been feeling really depressed these last couple of weeks. I'm not accustomed to a boss that provides so much constructive criticism. She has said she thinks I'm capable and that some of my written work is good. But, whenever I get a paper back w/ a bunch of written comments it is really demoralizing especially when the comments are things like, "This is way off base or this is not good."

Other than my internship my life is good. I have lots of friends, a girl I've gone on a few dates w/ that I really like, and I'm close to my family. I talk to my mom almost everyday. She usually makes me feel better but it has become a way to escape work b/c I've been calling her at work more often lately.

I saw a counselor for most of the last school year for depression. I've been taking 20mg prozac for the last 5 months. I still feel much better than I did 6 months ago. I don't want to feel that way again. My work schedule has not permitted me to go to a school counselor for the last month.

My director believes my lack of self-confidence has been a barrier, which could be since I'm shy. She gets frustrated when she has to repeat directions. I informed her in an e-mail today that I have an auditory processing disorder, which I hope will make her more understanding of my situation.

I like nutrition but the rotation I am in focuses on foodservice management, which is a subject I'm less interested in. I will have it done by next Friday assuming I can get through this.

In spite of my shortcomings, I believe that deep down I am a decent, intelligent human being. Any good advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Try to consider this woman's supervision style as much of a learning experience as your formal learning experience.  Instead of letting her get to you, study her.  Some people overdue on constructive criticism.  Some people are honestly offering constructive criticism.  Try to be objective about which she is doing.  As a top student, the criticism is probably a little hard to take.  As someone who struggled with depression, it's not so hot, either.  Maybe you two just don't communicate well or click.  But, that's all part of life.  So, learn how to cope, part of which is recognizing who is bringing what baggage to the table.  You can do something about your own.  You may only be able to recognize the other person's, but at least that keeps you from heaving it onto yourself.  The other big lesson... who you work for matters more than the actual job!

Answer 2

I can relate. I interned for my masters degree in counseling.  My internship lasted appx 10 months. During that time, I had the most critical self-absorbed supervisor ever.  I often felt anxious and nervous, unqualified and defeated.  

In the end, i took it as a learning experience.  Her criticism and rough nature made me a much stronger person.

Just hang on and get through it.  It should make you stronger in the end.