How can I figure out who is telling the truth about something sexual that happened in my classroom?

Question

Today a child came up to me and said she saw a boy and girl "being nasty" in the coat closet yesterday during dismissal. When I asked what happened, she said the boy and girl were kissing and the boy was on top of the girl moving back and forth.

The girl said she was looking for her gloves, when the boy came in and said he wanted to kiss her. When she said no, he started hitting her and made her do it.

The boy says he went into the closet "just because" and the girl asked him for a kiss. He said no, so she hit him and kissed him on the cheek anyway.

I don't know who to believe and for those judging me, I already feel really bad and angry that this happened on my watch.

Answer 1

Well I think I would believe her because she had an actual reason for being in there where as he did not.

Answer 2

You did what you could by interviewing them individually. I would leave it up to the principle, counselor and parents to figure out the rest. Chances are the parents will be able to get the truth out of their children. I always know when my children are hiding,lying or avoiding telling me something. If it was when the students should not have been in the classroom, then it was not "on your watch". You can only do so much when it is recess or after school and you have to get the rest of the class to wherever they need to be.

Answer 3

Something sexual should be a s*x related issue. You do not mention the age of the children involved, but by the way you relate it, I don't think you are the teacher. The school psychologist should know about this, as should the parents of the children involved, and the principal as well. Any of them are a better choiceto talk about this, than YA.

Why should anyone be judging you? This is clearly a case of inappropriate behavior among two children with conflicting versions as to what happened. The way kids act is not the fault of the teacher. The parents need to know about this because maybe their child is imitating a behavior that is common at home, and this needs to be addressed. The psychologist can run tests and help find what the problem was, and the principal needs to know so this doesn't escalate into a situation that implies a potential liability for the school.

Answer 4

I would report it immediatly.

No one is judging you.. just please be careful & make sure the kids are not left alone, they should not be in the closet w/out you.

(a child choked when his shirt got hooked on a coat rack here in TX and he died.. and he was just reaching over it and jumped poor baby just be careful)

back to your situation..

I'd report it, talk to both parents, and let them konw what happened.. maybe the parents can get the truth out somehow w/out being irrational (I know myself as a parent I would be irrational with good reaosn) but do your best.

Bless you..

Answer 5

Talk to them first individually and then again as a group.  The person who is lying will likely have hiccups in their story... it'll change from one situation to the next.  Look for the inconsistencies.  See each child's reaction when one of the others tells their version of the events.  You may notice a sweaty, red, nervous child when someone is telling the truth.

Answer 6

i think there's no point trying to figure out the "he said/ she said."  just tell them both that that's not allowed and that the coat closet is for getting coats and that no kissing is allowed in the classroom.  then alert both sets of parents and supervise both of them closely.

Answer 7

..they are 2nd graders, why would they lie? at that age they are curious & mimic what they see around them, tv, at home, video games etc. don't over react, although it sounds as if you are more upset that it happened while you were there then actually concentrating on what to do next...talk to them casually...this is very normal and when people act 'abnormally' about such things, then serial killers are born...(extreme), they need to understand that it's normal curiosity but that it's also inappropriate.....it's ok...deal with it and move on....ok?

Answer 8

That story doesn't make sense. You talk to each one individually and try to get the story out of each one of them and peice it together.

Answer 9

I don't know if this has to be about who to believe, but if you haven't already, you should bring it to a supervisor.  I'm assuming all schools have policies about this.  I would also think the school would need to notify parents right away (If I were a parent of either child I'd be angry if I were the last to know).  You have a witness report that seems to cooberate the girls side of the story more than the boys.   Both kids should be counseled.  You didn't mention the ages, but I assume younger than teens so it's pretty crucial for them to have some knowledge and boundaries.  Best of luck!

Answer 10

It sounds like while they were probably doing something very wrong, they didn't have their clothes off. (Hopefully!)

I would definitely talk to them again separately, and maybe someone else saw them too that you could talk to.

Then it's time to bring in the parents, as long as they will do their job. I'm sure you have to report this to the principal too? Maybe it's time for another round of s*x ed, especially if the parents won't be parents (which is very frequent!)

Thank YOU for being a concerned teacher. You do more for kids than some of their mothers and fathers.

Answer 11

I agree with asking all 3 kids involved (the two in the closet, and the witness) separately their stories- with the principal and school psychologist  and parents together. Then bring the kids together and ask again and see who fumbles.  

That's IF you really want to find out who started it.  At this point, preventing it in the future is the bigger issue- because you don't need to call the boy out as having attacked this girl. Yes it was inappropriate, and as someone responsible for those kids, it is your job to make sure it never happens again.

Take the door off the coat room.

Answer 12

i assume you talked to them indiviually...i would have them all together with the principal discuss with  them that this kind of behavior is not appropriate  . tell them that you will be informing their parents. and that if it ever happens again that they will be put on detention. and their parents will have to pick them up. or you could talk to the counselor there at school and see what she/he recommends...