How can I forgive my husband when he has lied to me repeatedly?

Question

my husband has been lying about finances since before we got married. In the beginning before we got married i said to him look -I dont have a lot in terms of $ BUT I do not have a stitch of debt - something I was proud of - worked hard to get there...he never made any mention of his debts and it all has come down in the last week.(we have been married two years now) a year ago we ran a credit check for something and it came up he owed 30K to the government - I went nuts - I knew nothing about this -but we worked on it and then he said he was working out the whole thing with a tax guy - paying it off in installments - every time I would ask about it he would say it is being handled... then cut to a year later- I am 7 months preg- the subject comes up again about the taxes. he confesses to me that he has NEVER been dealing with it AND on top of it he has not only not paid that one year but the last 5 years. I know need to take over finances from now on- but how do you get over this betrayal and hurt ?

Answer 1

dont forgive him move on! duh!

Answer 2

He has financially cheated on you and you both need to seek counseling if you want this to work. You can't be waiting until the debt gets to six figures before you do something about, you need to go NOW.

On a plus, at least he confessed and fessed up because the guilt was eating away at him. There are many people out there who don't even have that guilty conscience and that is very scary.  

Answer 3

just watch pokemon

Answer 4

The taxes he owed before he married you you will not have to bother with....but the taxes he did not pay after you married him are part your responsibility. Sorry to tell you. He better watch it, as he could go to jail.

If that was my husband I would kill him.

He owes alot of taxes and penalties for the past five years, and they may even go back further to see if he owes any more.

Does he lie to you about everything? I hope you take care of the bill paying after this.

Answer 5

He owes that much and don't have a warrant yet?  He will end up in prison and may learn a lesson then.  

Answer 6

Wow, that sucks. Good think you're taking over the finances.  Some people just can't handle it.

Answer 7

Congradulations on your expected child, I am so happy for you. Accept your husband for what he is-- A  man. Love him and cheerish him and pray hard that he matures more quickly than most.  You can't change him, he can only change himself, and believe me they don't have a clue. BUT if this is all you have to complain about, where he is concerned, Just say to your self, "I am married to a good man, he just has a problem"  If you didn't love him so much, his actions couldn't hurt you so easily.

Answer 8

go to counseling.

Answer 9

That's hard because he didn't have any respect for you or your finances. I don't think I could ever trust him again when it came to money. Sorry

Answer 10

I have also been lied to by my husband and have been dishonest with him.  Our marriage got better after we spent a weekend in a Retrouvaille marriage program.  

I highly suggest Retouvaille, please go to the website and see if this works for you two:

http://retrouvaille.org/

It has helped my husband and I with our lying behaviours.  Your marriage can get better by learning helpful tools to truly communicate.  Your stressful financial situation and baby on the way coupled with the feelings of betrayal can send your marriage into a separation.  

You can make it work out, go to the website to find out where and when the next Retrouvaille program is and tell your husband you two need to do this for your marriage.  If you cannot make it then get a good councillor who believes in marriage.

Take care,

Marvelle

Answer 11

Your husband has a problem with managing his money, does not make him a bad person. He needs help. I used to have high credit card debt, and I held this information from my husband and I used to justify using the money as an emergency. I finally had to face up to it and work extra to pay it off. Help him get into a program that helps people like him. Once he sees that even the best person can get into debt he will not be so afraid with admitting it.  He did not mean to betray you, he was only embarressed by it.  

Answer 12

I dont know!!!

Answer 13

Insist and demand to take control of the money. If not, he will keep you in the poor house.